The art of loving Oneself: The 5 steps
The search for love, acceptance, acknowledgement, praise and respect is never ending. The search itself is addictive, a desperate need to people-please. We look for like-minded peers or our role-models or superiors to believe in us and our dreams. It becomes essential for at least one single individual to hold our hand while we take that one big step. But it doesn’t end there. Once that person lets go of our hand, we look for another. It is a constant struggle. It may be a physical or emotional need. Whatever the reason, it is a belief that we are only as good as the other person thinks us to be.
This is a major hurdle to being independent; body, mind and soul. By birth we are born tethered in some inexplicable way to others. Some call them instincts and some frequency and the others blame it on the stars. It is difficult to be tied to none. I do not, by any stretch of imagination mean live a life alone. I am only talking about having faith in oneself so as to not look for a star on your homework notebook. Before we venture into the world of the unknown psychologies of other individuals, it is very important that we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, and as much as our dog would love us.
Here are 5 not-so-simple steps to loving yourself unconditionally:
1) Respect yourself
There is no short-cut to this. You have to learn to respect yourself and not stoop to people or things that are not worth your time and effort. Do not let yourself be taken for granted. When you feel you are being treated like a doormat, either speak up or walk out.
2) Respect others
Nobody likes to be treated with contempt. Rise above the situation and be poised and dignified. Anger and words can ruin your self-worth as much as relationships. Do not speak up in anger. Cool down when you have to make serious accusations. This is the most difficult and daunting of tasks. Practice it, every day. This is less to please people and more to feel good about yourself. You have a clear conscience and no regrets.
3) Love yourself physically
Tall, short, fat, thin, fair or dark doesn’t matter much in the long run. Accept every single part of your body as it is. It makes for a very happy human being. Dress to make yourself happy, the elegant way. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong. People’s perspectives change with the confidence that emanates from you. You are beautiful, inside and out. Believe in it.
4) Believe in your dreams
As we grow up, we have a lot of boundaries and stigmas attached to our thoughts and dreams. Our brain plays devil’s advocate to every dream of ours that is not socially acceptable. Believe in your dreams, despite their oddity, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. If you don’t believe in your dreams, nobody will. Work hard towards it and don’t give up.
5) Keep the “child” alive
We all know the metaphorical child inside of us. Keep it alive, because it is the most purest and unadulterated form of you. Be amazed at the world as much as a kid in a candy store. Love someone or something with as much passion as a child with an ice cream cone. Laugh out loud, cry when you have to, be happy with the smallest things and let yourself fall. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn to walk again.
You have one life to live. Live it your way, with all the flaws and blemishes. Have no regrets and be nice to everyone possible. Don’t let the world shun you for who you are. Hold your head high and smile like a million dollars. Here’s a song that kept me going through the tough times.
