The Marriage Algorithm
An annoying mother, nosy family friends, Barbies in search of prince charming and a bunch of other factors made me want to pen down my thoughts. Honestly, I am tired of answering to people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way against the whole concept of marriage, but I am dead against the way it is approached in our society. In a long time, if there was an advertisement I identified with, it was Titan’s new one starring Katrina Kaif. Why does one get married exactly?
If I ask my grandparents or my mother this question, I will be answered with expressions ranging from blank confused stares to horrified screams. For them, it is a way of life. They mention it as casually as going on a drive or watching a movie. For me, it is a dark alley that they are forcing me to walk through alone. When I question them as to why now and why not later, they come up with gut churning, bile inducing and migraine causing replies such as: “Don’t you see your friends getting married?” or “If you don’t get married now, when will you have kids?” Meaning, how I spend the rest of my life depends on my friends and my (re)productivity.
What most people fail to understand is the difference between a marriage and a wedding. A marriage is the long term relationship whereas a wedding is a ceremony that lasts for a day or few. My mum thinks about the invitees for my wedding and her saree for that day. That one day holds so much importance that the relationship has taken a back seat. The concept has become a business, a sort of investment. Marriages have become a monetary transaction in the name of dowry and a licence to have a physical relationship. Such bases are wrong on so many levels.
In those moments of peace where someone isn’t twisting every statement of mine into ending up in marriage, social networking sites harass my grey cells to no extent. I remember logging into Facebook one morning only to have 3 consecutive event notifications of my “friends” getting married. It was accompanied by a plethora of red and yellow pictures. Right after that, were pictures posted by a couple on their honeymoon. This was followed by a friend declaring that she was no longer single and she had found “THE” one. I logged off, shut down and went back to sleep. I get it; you are happy, overjoyed, and resplendent and on cloud nine. At the risk of sounding cynical and scornful, is a person’s marriage their biggest achievement in life? Is that all that they ever dreamed of? I find it hard to come to terms with that.
I don’t understand the hurry. If I have to spend a couple of years in finding someone to share my dreams with, then so be it. But I’m definitely not going to be posting sweet nothings on his page for the whole community to see. My dreams are bigger than that. I’m waiting for the questions to stop and people to have better things in life to do. I have no time for a mush mania when there is such a long bucket list to complete. As long as I have friends who are willing to sing along, the music plays on.
