Dirty, Chippy, Tough: The Bulls Must Learn From the Bucks
Giannis Antetokounmpo clearly doesn’t know the rules of basketball. He never did. And it never mattered because the rules, apparently, exclude him.
The 6-foot-11 Iron-Giant-of-a-man shoulder slams more opponents than Mike Alstott. He barrels through defenders without even a polite attempt at grace, just brute force. Take this drive against Nikola Vucevic, for example. Why go around a guy when you can crack his rib cage?
There’s nothing wrong with that move, if you’re playing football. Yes, Antetokounmpo will earn an occasional offensive foul. But for every penalty bequeathed to his stat sheet, there are at least seven sorry defenders he decapitates. It makes sense; there’s no way the refs can call every foul. The game would appear too uneven.
Unlike capital in trickle-down economics, the Greek Freak’s physicality stimulates his Bucks teammates. As the corpses of Antetokounmpo’s prey lie on the hardwood, pleading for a whistle’s salvation, his teammates feed off open three pointers and layups. Even worse, they imitate his unchecked and unadulterated violence.
Bulls fans need little reminder of Grayson Allen’s murder attempt of the sweet, innocent Alex Caruso. Even soft-on-crime judges deal steeper penalties than that received by the snickering Duke alumnus. But it’s not only the NBA’s biggest irritant who has dirty streak. Bobby Portis and, while rostered, DeAndre’ Bembry both earned multiple flagrant fouls this season. Jevon Carter’s inadvertent (?) elbow ended Caruso’s playoffs. Seriously, why do the Bucks hate Caruso? Did he say tater tots are better than cheese curds?
This isn’t to criticize the two-time MVP or a roster full of NBA champions. It’s an observation. The winning formula requires an ounce of physicality and pinch of brutality. The Bucks are graced with at least 10 tablespoons.
What the Bulls must do is take a painful hint. All finesse gets you nowhere in the playoffs. Apart from the Bucks, the Lakers started cooking after signing Markieff Morris around midseason in 2020. The Splash Brothers played in the kiddie pool until their muscle, Draymond Green, rounded into form. LeBron James never won without a ‘big-and-ugly’ on his roster. Chicago, of all cities, should understand the value of basketball body guards after winning championships with Horace Grant and Dennis Rodman.
Who do the ‘Slash Brothers’ have to shield them in battle? A man cursed by Khloe Kardashian and not much else.
Look, it’s OK to be salty about being shellacked by the defending champs. That’s all the past 400 words have been. But at some point, the mirror needs to be picked up, followed by a hard look. Call it dirty, chippy, tough, whatever. Clearly, the Bulls don’t do it enough.
