Never been this far away from my comfort zone
#the_struggle_is_real! [Hash(tag).new = for week 2]
I thought it was going to be way easier than it actually is…
Learning to play and instrument, speak a new language or coding in ruby, might have the shared adrenaline and excitement of learning something you didn’t know before. Actually that’s what moves me to try new things — that spark you get in your heart, the sparking of your emotions and the energy of transforming yourself into the next version of yourself. I adore that feeling.
Now, throwing myself into the dark waters of the unknown, such as grabbing ruby from zero, it has been proving to be harder than I thought. I always trust my ability to embrace awkwardness and “stay with the pain” for as long as it’s needed, but #ruby has been teaching me big lessons. First I realized how addicting it is to change your actions on a constant basis during the day. Not only multi tasking but a “lot of tasking” during the entire day. Now I am forced to forget about the world, let go of my ordinary errands, put my passion projects on hold, and dedicate 200% of my attention to learning ruby. I realize that for me, there’s no such thing as working 10 hours per day coding, with the struggles that implies, and then do my normal life after hours. Ruby is teaching me to focus my attention on a single goal, to really get into my tunnel view and just do this for now. It’s exhausting to focus for so long on one single task, specially if I am not excelling at that one task… It’s a personal fight, one that I had been envisioning for a long time and that now I am forced to face. Alleluia!
The second week at Le Wagon, as the professors and former batch have been telling me, was quite intense and somehow an ego killer. First, I feel I am the dumbest person around. I try to get it, I read it 20 times, the professors explains to me another 10, and still is not sticking. There are several concepts that are brand new to me, and the system’s design of the program interfaces are more complex than I imagined. Yet, there’s no greater feeling than the fact that you are totally out there in the dark, away from your comfort zone, available for change, for self discovery and with no expectations at all. I love having no expectations. Right now, in my current lost state, anything that comes will be received as a novelty, not being judged by the typical expectation of my mind’s mental projection.
According to the legend, the first 3 weeks at Le Wagon are wild and insane. Well I can feel that, but I am still #trustingtheprocess because that’s all I can hope.
The class is spread across genius, fighters and resilients. We are all united and helping each other along the way. The vibe of family is really strong, and we are all crossing the desert together. The pain is real but the group is greater.
