My IAT Test Results
Growing up as a young Black girl in America, I was almost conditioned to have a preconceived view of myself and those who share my racial identity. During my childhood era of being obsessed with dolls and playtime, I remember Target being my prime source of toy consumption. Back then, representations of other races, ethnicities and even body type differences were very slim, I would even say nonexistent for certain categories. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise that I had mostly white skinned dolls with straight hair, this was less of a preference and more of a product of my limitation. However, there would be times where my mother would point to a doll who is dark-skinned with kinky hair, but dressed in not so much of a fashionable sense as the other dolls, and ask if I would prefer her instead. My answer was always hesitant and there was a feeling of guilt that I had as I worked up the courage to say “no”. This is a universal dilemma that many Black girls who grew up in America faced in their childhood.
Being born and raised in Brooklyn, I have only ever seen other Black people and Hispanics, and I can count on my finger at that time how many white people I’ve seen in real life. My opinions of white people were formulated by what I consumed by the media. They were the stars and the ones that everyone looked up to. If there was any Black representation, it was overly stereotypical. The dark skinned Black girls were always associated with negative stereotypes, and their only character was to be the “ghetto Black side-kick”, the comedic relief, and who wants to be associated with that? During middle school I developed a resentment towards my own race and skin tone as a result of racism received by my own people for acting “out of my race”. Due to this, I strictly consumed targeted white media. This only fueled my resentment towards my race even more, to the point where I would research natural ways to lighten my skin.
I took the IAT tests that were associated with questions of race and skin tone because I wanted to question how much these preconceived ideas are still subconsciously accurate. The test structure itself was unexpected, it wasn’t a regular personality test where you answer questions based on your own judgment. Rather, it was more activity based and as much as I tried to complete the tasks as quickly and efficiently as possible, I simply could not keep up with my expectations. In the Race (Black-White) IAT, I was able to be fairly accurate with the activity itself. However, when I was confronted with the personal questions, I found myself stuck. I personally believe that I have a bias, I just don’t know which one would fit that preference. On one hand, I gravitate towards Black people based on familial association, but on the other hand, predominantly white environments make me feel safer. My results show that I had no automatic preference between African Americans and European Americans. So I took another test just to get more of an idea of where my head was at.
The skin-tone (Light Skin-Dark Skin) IAT felt more challenging. By this time, I have already taken two other IAT’s and were able to zoom through them with not much difficulty and had no automatic preference as my result for both. I went into this test with a sense of confidence, and to my surprise I found myself getting frozen with the word associations way more, and taking much longer to complete the tasks. Although my personal judgment questions stated that I see both dark skinned/light skinned people as equal, and this was the first test that I stated I had no preference for either variation, my result still showed that I had a slightly automatic preference for light-skinned people over dark-skinned.
Although these events that I have described took place years ago during a time where many other Black women were just as lost as I was, my result from these tests still didn’t come as a major shocking point. When people are confronted with the question “do you have a preference between light skinned and dark skinned people?” There is a discomfort in their response because they don’t want to be looked upon as racist or prejudiced; especially in an era of society where people can lose their careers based on such accusations. The unfortunate truth however is that your personal bias can still be construed or to an extent overtaken by the biases that were forced upon us by society’s biases as well. Growing up as a medium-skinned Black girl only surrounded by people who looked like me, the biases of others made it difficult to feel comfortable and connected to my race and skin tone. I can confidently say that present-day me is more than happy to be who she is, and will take the time to express it any time I can. However, these ideas that were forced onto me are still something that I struggle to confront even in this time.
