Food & Dink 1.3

Last week I came to a full stop, I can’t say why exactly but suffice to say it culminated in a complete system failure. What it forced me to do was re-evaluate who I was & where I wanted to be, not just in work but life in general. The prospect of reaching retirement without achievement or at least making a contribution to our evolution leaves me feeling hollow & dissatisfied. My father built his whole existence around the life he was creating for his children, working a dead end job, existing day to day with no thoughts to his future happiness outside the remit of the family. I couldn’t tell you what his passion in life was beyond his family as not even in retirement have I witnessed him indulge or digress, just last week our discussion revolved solely around how best to protect & distribute my inheritance. The decision to lead a childfree life leaves me without this altruistic & convenient excuse to justify my existence solely on the provision for others, and therefore I will always need another raison d’etre. I suppose it’s not without irony that I’ve made the decision to finish what I started 16 years ago and return to coding, an opportunity to create rather than procreate. Like many I want to achieve on my own terms & not just follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before. The romance of my heritage is not lost on me, the idea of bearing arms to drive the english out of the land which they stole is a great start to a film but has no place in the reality of the world today. Maybe my commitment to an alternative lifestyle is born from the legacy of a people ingrained with the need to rebel for no other reason than to defend their existence. Whatever the reason I’m back staring at the void with the defiance & purpose that has always driven me, and like those that I admire, Tiocfaidh ár lá.