Adoption means…love.
Catalin is a 9 years old black eyed boy, with a huge life willing, nevertheless the deep trauma he had to live in his “childhood”.
Raised by a single mother, Catalin has suffered enormously because of his stepfather who was considering him guilty for his mother’s sins and was often punishing him in a very hard way. In order to escape to all this horror, the little boy left home and found a relative’s home to live in… in the meantime, his mother went abroad to take care about her personal life.
I have no place to go…
One winter morning, a social assistant found Catalin near the door of her office. He was barefoot, frozen and with big tears in his eyes: ‘I have no place to go.‘
The social assistant decided it would be better to take the child off the relative’s family, but, unfortunately, the only alternative for him at that moment was institutionalization.
All this time, a family was praying to have a child
Somewhere in the world, a lonely family was praying to have a baby. It didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl, a blonde or a brunet, it didn’t even matter if he or she was a new born baby or a school aged child… their desire to have a child was so big that they decided to write down a special request — the request of adoption. The destiny decided to send them to Catalin who needed a loving family so much.
When they accepted to visit the child, they didn’t know much about him. No name, no photo, no date and place of birth, all they knew was that they will finally meet their little boy.
When I was seeing planes flying over, I used to wander: are they coming with this plane?
The first meeting was very emotional and the little boy suddenly noticed: you know, he (the potential father) has my eyes. And yes, it’s true, we don’t know how it can be explained, but very often (almost always) children are very similar to their adoptive parents. For instance, Catalin likes to play football very much. Suddenly we discover that the adoptive grandfather is a football trainer. Catalin is left handed just like his adoptive mother is and both the child and the adoptive parents don’t like to eat some special foods. They have learnt so many things about each other as if they knew each other for ages.
After having spent some days with his new parents, Catalin asked: What took you so long to come? I knew you two would come and every day was looking to the planes wandering: is this the one? Are they coming with this plane?
30 days for the attachment
The law says that establishing an adequate attachment between the adoptive child and the prospective adoptive parents takes 30 days. In fact, the attachment happened much earlier, and it was eased by the huge desire of both parents and the child to stay together and to become a family. The 30 days have passed too fast and after a half realized dream, both the child and the family had to come back to their previous situation.
Unfortunately, another 1 to 3 months has to pass until the adoption request is be examined by Court and it depends on the judge whether the child’s best interest to have a family will be considered or not. If so, the parents will be invited in Court as soon as possible, to formally request the adoption of the child. After having spent 30 days with his new parents, a child has to wait for 3 months to be legally adopted!
”Actually, they are my parents from the first day I met them, now it is just a formality”.
The participation to the Court session was another emotional moment both for the parents and for the child who just turned 10 years old and by law had to express his opinion about the adoption. He didn’t even think too much and his answer was a strong YES. He added: Actually they are my parents since the first day I met them. Now it is just a formality”.
9 months of waiting and 5 years of monitoring
And as nothing in this world comes easy, the two parents that Catalin wanted so much, that have been confirmed by the Court, couldn’t become his immediately. Again, he had to wait for the Court Decision to enter in force and to become irrevocable and that usually means another 2 months of separation and solitude. With a simple calculation, at least 9 months would pass from the first meeting of the child with his adoptive parents until the decision of adoption enters in force… 9 months, just like a pregnancy. And who says an adoptive child is a special one? Adoption is just another way of having children. Even by law, adoptive parents are declared similar to biologic ones. When the adoption decision enters in force, every bond the child has with his previous family is interrupted and he or she becomes legally the adoptive family’s son or daughter. Thus, they have the same duties and responsibilities as biological parents have in front of their children. Still, there is a small difference between adoptive and biological parents: A monitoring 5 years period is foreseen for the adoptive parents, both nationally and internationally. They are obliged to be available for monitoring visits performed by the local authorities. At least 8 Post Adoption Reports will be made by the social workers in order to ensure that the child is in good conditions and it was really in his best interest being adopted by this specific family.
It might seem quite difficult, too long, very bureaucratic and hard to manage. But at the end, it is all worth it. When a child like Catalin finds his family and is happy and says: “I only now understand what childhood really means”, you know that nothing in this world has a higher price than two loving parents, than the love that only a family can give.
