Take Care of Yourself
Love with your whole heart. No matter what the situation, Love is ALWAYS the answer.
CREATE MEMORIES
Go to that concert. Go on that vacation. Do that stupid thing. Buy new shoes and ruin them. Dance like no one is watching. Sing at the top of your lungs. Fall in love. Create memories and live your life with that very intent. Make every moment of your life scrapbook worthy.
TRY NEW THINGS
I am one of those people who have an issue with change and trying new things. I say “am” instead “was” because I am constantly working on that flaw. I am so accustomed to trying new things and being disappointed with the outcome, whether that be trying a new food or taking part in something that I otherwise would not. It is always good to experience new things, however. Give yourself a chance to know what that feels, tastes or even looks like. Isn’t it better to know than it is to wonder?
PRACTICE BEING HEALTHY
Eat healthy, exercise, practice good hygiene, SLEEP, go to your doctor regularly, relax, know what is best for YOU.
SET GOALS FOR YOURSELF
I know that we have all heard this at least once in our lifetime; Set some goals and strive to achieve them. Imagine walking through life aimlessly; waking up and going through your everday life without any real aspirations. It seems like a pretty miserable life if you ask me. Set short and long term goals and set yourself up to be able to achieve each and every one of them-realistically.
TRUST YOURSELF
More often then we should, we leave our intuition and common sense out of situations that they work the best in. We leave our most animalistic trait out when we are ‘hunting’ for answers (see what I did there?). Without a doubt, before anything important or life changing happens to us there is this small section of ourselves screaming at us, Listen to that part. Trusting people can be a risky game to play but trusting yourself should come as easy as breathing. In the end, you know exactly what works best for you.
NO, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRUST ISSUES
Stop allowing people the opportunity to diagnose you with issues that you do not have. You aren’t insecure, you don’t have trust issues, you aren’t psycho, you’re not hard to love ; you just see through their crap. We become naive to the fairytales that people draw up just so we don’t have to deal with the obvious problems. I, for one, have grown accustomed to only seeing one side of a person when humans are multi-dimensional creatures. Because of this issue, I have given people so many opportunities to hurt me. Stop giving way to the idea of the type of person they could be and accept who they are. You can have every reason to suspect that you are being cheated on, that your friends are talking behind your back, that someone doesn’t have your best interest in mind but YOU don’t want to believe it. That, my friends, has nothing to do with trust issues instead, it is you only giving notice to the good in a person without taking into account the bad.
TAKE A STEP BACK
Some situations that we find ourselves in are often times avoidable. Our instincts allow us time to sniff out situations and deem them worth our time. I, for one, no longer waste time on dead end people. Dead end people are people who spend majority of their time gossiping about other people, lying, back biting, angry, complaining or dwelling in their past. I noticed that my friends started to call me only to talk about who was pregnant or who wasn’t with who . It got to the point where I stopped answering the phone just so I could get my own priorities straight. Transitioning into an adult allowed me to see that people are going to get mad and probably won’t understand that when you want something, sometimes you have to separate yourself from the flock to get it.
I also found myself in a relationship that was my whole entire life. My boyfriend and I poured so much energy into whether or not we would live out our lives together that we forgot to live. We got hit with so many different things that began to tear us apart. We HAD to give each the space that we needed in order to actually see what was healthy and what wasn’t.
EXPRESS YOURSELF
Never, and I repeat, Never allow someone the opportunity to make you feel as though how you feel isn’t important. Express yourself, no matter what. Keeping things bottled up and letting them fester only creates issues for the future. I am one of those people that will take hit after hit, let it build up and then when something happens that REALLY rubs me the wrong way, I explode. That’s never a healthy way to deal with issues. Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it! Even if you can’t talk about it, give yourself time to feel out what it is that you actually want/need. Cry, scream, just as long as you let that baby out!
KNOW WHEN TO REACT
Not everything that happens to us deserves a response. Sometimes what we think is happening to us is usually meant for someone else. I remember finding myself caught up in situations that I later had to question the point of my involvement or reaction. If you already understand the logic behind your side of the issue dont waste your energy arguing your point back and forth. If you are arguing with a person who was looking for a solution, there wouldn’t be an arguement. Know when to lend your energy out and when to pass up the opportunity to school someone who probably won’t understand your side anyway.
TAKE YOUR TIME, TAKE YOUR TIME
I know and understand that “Time waits for no one.” But sometimes you have to allot yourself the proper time needed in order to reach certain pinnacles in your life. As a New Yorker, rushing is engrained into my very soul. I have lived in NY all my life and I'm JUST noticing the many beautiful gems within my city. I use this example because we rush through situations to get to the wanted destination without realizing just how crucial the trip there really is. Take it all in, take your time.
LEAVE THAT ALONE
You can’t ride a dead horse! No matter how many times you try to stand him up, feed him hay, change his horseshoes — if the horse is dead, bury him and move on. People lose huge portions of themselves trying to revive relationships and situations that have been dead for a long time. The fight isn’t in making the decision, its in the action of actually leaving. Remember when I told you to take your time? Well, in situations like these don’t waste so much of your time waiting for things to get better when its obvious that they won’t. Some people spend years of their lives on situations that are no longer beneficial, healthy , fulfilling or even wanted. Don’t let comfortability or lack thereof, cause you to hold on when you could be spending time doing so much more .
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
You may think that you can change someone into something that you want but the truth is — you can't, the only person that you have full and total control over is YOU. Place yourself in the driver seat, put on your seat belt and navigate YOUR life. Don’t let anyone cause you to feel guilty for wanting to focus on you, you have every right to take ME time and focus on the things that make you feel complete. If you want to spend more than usual on that pair of shoes and everything is lined up to do so, GET THEM. Set a day aside to get some me time in before you have go back into the regularly-scheduled program that is adulthood. Put yourself first and do the damn thing.
— Chira Jai —
