The Toughest Clients I’ve Had as a Nutritionist Are My Kids
By Keri Glassman, MS, RD, CDN
During a quiet elevator ride up to our apartment, I heard Rex’s voice break the silence.
“You shouldn’t eat that,” he said.
My eyes widened as I realized who he was addressing. A woman in her 50s was about to bite into a cookie, and her food choices were being judged by my six-year-old son.
“REX!” I yelled, in an OMG-I-am-mortified-by-the-judgement-my-son-just-threw-down way, as I glared down at him.
Without another option, I smiled apologetically at the woman. “Looks delish to me!” I said. “Enjoy that cookie!”
As we got off on the eighth floor (thank God we didn’t live any higher), Rex looked confused. “What, mom? It isn’t healthy!” he insisted. “She shouldn’t eat it.”
“You eat cookies, don’t you?” I asked, exasperated. But he was already running down the hall, bored with the conversation and onto his next activity.
That moment, however, made me scratch my head and reflect. As a registered dietitian, I had worked so hard to demonstrate healthy eating habits to my children. I wanted to show and not tell. To present and not preach. I used that approach because I knew that too much talk about nutrition (and diet, but that’s a whole other game) could lead to obsessive habits or total rebellion.
I never told my kids they shouldn’t eat cookies. In fact, I actually made a point to always have a box (yes, usually organic or homemade) and a container of ice cream in the apartment. I didn’t want them to feel deprived and then go crazy when they got to a party or a friend’s apartment, where soda, chips, and candy were free flowing.
But somehow, with all of the nutrition work I do, they had absorbed things I hadn’t told them outright. Maybe they had seen me on TV talking about sugar cravings or how to lose ten pounds. Maybe they’d overheard conference calls in which I was discussing a blog post on how to make healthier baked goods or a cleanse protocol for my upcoming book.
I realized talking to my kids about healthy eating was going to be an even tougher challenge than I anticipated. How would I teach them nutritious habits without pushing them towards yo-yo dieting and emotional eating or body image issues? How would I encourage healthy choices while also emphasizing the fact that it’s okay to indulge? It’s all pretty confusing…even for us adults.
Here’s where I landed, as a mom and an RD.
The most important thing is to make conscious decisions and keep things consistent for your kids. Food battles become less dramatic when kids know what to expect, which is why every family should have their very own Food Culture.
The First Step: Get On the Same Plate
If you’re raising kids with a partner, you’ve got to be aligned from the get-go. Before starting a home and a family, we have chats about everything from finances to education to religion. But couples rarely decide what they’re going to feed their family in advance.
All organic? Home cooked meals? Take-out limited to two times a week? Dessert limited to certain days? Talk about what food values are important to you, and come up with a philosophy you can agree on.
Then, bring in the troops and open up the conversation. If your children are old enough to contribute, let them. Talk about preferences and let them voice their opinions. Work together to develop principles for a Food Culture that feels fair and workable.
Negotiating “Nos”
The cookie-in-the-elevator incident wasn’t the first dessert-related drama Rex and I had dealt with.
Years before, he had a meltdown in the pouring rain on Second Avenue over an oversized cupcake. After continuous denials, I practically threw it at him, my resolve worn down by a three-year-old. I’ve always hated acting like the parent police but I also know I can’t let sugary indulgences turn into a free-for-all.
Again, I decided it comes down to setting ground rules so your kids know what to expect. Decide which sweets are important to you and how and when they should be incorporated for your family.
We’re usually a fruit-for-dessert family (sometimes with a drizzle of chocolate…mmm), but we also indulge in homemade (sometimes by the bakery!) chocolate chip cookies and real ice cream for dessert. We don’t have a set night for it, but that structure may work for your family.
I also try to choose desserts that are homemade with real ingredients, like a baked apple with cinnamon instead of brownies. I keep ingredients for my favorite treats on hand so I can whip ’em up when needed. If make-your-own popsicles are your pick, for example, stock your kitchen with extra fruit and coconut. Maizy, my daughter and a friend are literally making them as I write this blog!
Or maybe you decide that outside of your home you follow different rules. For example, no bags of chips in the house, but crunchy, fried things are okay at social events and soccer games.
In the end, you can set ground rules and a continuous example, but you can’t control the many conflicting messages about food your kids will be exposed to on a daily basis. The best you can do is continue to check in with them, to ask questions, and to offer explanations as you all enjoy that dinner of grilled salmon, burnt broccoli, and brown rice.
They’ll continue to make judgements; you’ll just have to continue to get better at responding to them along the way.
Recently, for instance, I got a taste of how that woman in the elevator felt while at home with my daughter, Maizy. Looking in my direction, Maizy eyed my mid-section.
“You know, mom,” she said, “for a nutritionist, you should have better abs.”
I laughed, of course, and then filed a mental note to start addressing bigger body and diet questions with her. Maybe while enjoying some Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies, together.
About the Author
Keri Glassman, MS, RD, CDN, is a renowned celebrity nutritionist and is the founder and president of Nutritious Life and The Nutrition School.
She is a Today Show Tastemaker and a contributing editor and advisory board member for Women’s Health Magazine and is the author of four bestselling books, including The New You and Improved Diet and The O2 Diet. She’s also regularly featured on national television programs like The Today Show, Good Morning America, and The Rachael Ray Show and is a prolific contributor and commentator for countless other top media outlets.
Keri’s approach to providing accessible, science-backed healthy living advice that extends beyond food and diet — to areas like sleep, stress, and exercise — steers millions of people towards well-rounded wellness strategies that work for them. She resides in New York City with her smoothie, burnt broccoli and ice cream-obsessed children, Rex and Maizy.
Brain Freeze is a series of stories by parents that celebrates the candid moments in which their children ask the most unexpected questions. The series is sponsored by Chloe’s Fruit, a brand of frozen treats made from only three ingredients: fruit, water, and a touch of organic cane sugar. Follow Brain Freeze for more stories, and sign up to receive coupons for Chloe’s Pops in your inbox.
