Fighting X-Ism with Y-Ism
Despite the chromosomal title and inflammatory image, this post isn’t specifically to do with “women vs men”. It’s just about combat generally.
More specifically, it’s to do with affirmative action, which frankly isn’t a topic I ever though I’d be writing about.
Why?
Because I’m a middle-class white Christian male, in a country where few things are problematic and most things are OK.
Despite that, there’s a lot of outrage going around — certainly enough to keep us all in a state of perpetual indignation should we choose to be so.
This one caught my attention:
As part of its three “House Rules”, the cafe stipulates women have priority seating, men will be charged an 18 per cent premium “to reflect the gender pay gap [2016] which is donated to a women’s service”.
Ignoring that:
- this is probably illegal*
- the facts underlying the “pay gap” are hilariously vague and therefore vulnerable to political manipulation, and
- that I’m a man,
this kind of action throws the question out there once more: how do we respond to unfair adversity?
*Charging people more based on their gender is illegal in most countries — duh.
**Apparently the surcharge is “optional” — not sure where the sign says that though…
How do you Respond to Unfair Adversity?
There are a few options:
- pretend it doesn’t exist and carry on because “that’s just the way it is”
- tolerate it, but complain by yourself about it when you’re at home and nobody that might object can hear you
- hit “like” on social media posts about it, and tell yourself that you’re a supporter of “the cause” (whatever that might be)
- engage in passive aggressive stunts to indicate your disapproval of the thing
- Quit everything, march the streets, and devote your entire life to correcting the wrong that you believe has been done.
Not being on the receiving end of enough unfair adversity to warrant taking a hard stance, I admit that usually I fall somewhere in the first 3 of the options.
What about you though?
Bury your Head in the Sand
This is one option, of course — and for a time this will do many people just fine.
Ignore the problem.
It could go away — lots of problems do.
But some don’t.
Some linger, despite our desire to pretend they don’t exist.
Tolerant Disagreement
This is where you turn up day by day, do the thing despite its problems, and then as frustration increases you go home and vent to your significant other, your computer, or your cat.
It can get you by for a time, but it’s not great for those on the receiving end of your frustration, nor for your overall life satisfaction.
The Social Media Fix
It’s interesting how much better about ourselves we can feel when we hit “like” on a post that expresses what we feel.
Perhaps we even “share” it with our own friends and colleagues.
Unfortunately the value of a like is limited.
Despots.
Prisons.
Torture.
Presidents.
These things (people) have all weathered the social media storm, and come out the other end fairly well intact.
Because your “like” isn’t connected with any tangible action… other than a click of a mouse.
Stunts
Wear a pink shirt.
Tie a black ribbon around your arm to “show your support”.
Buy a $2 flower.
Wear a badge.
I’m not disrespecting your support of these causes, but let’s be honest: if your support is limited to a $2 flower that you were guilted into buying as you walked into your building that morning, then you don’t really support the cause at all.
Lifelong Devotion
If it seems like we’ve skipped about 24,759 steps to go from “stunts” to “your whole life”, then that’s probably true.
But taking action is what distinguishes pretending to care, from actually caring.
You can fool everyone for a time, and fool yourself easy enough. Like enough posts, buy enough flowers, stick enough stickers and you’ll really feel like a great human being.
Here is the truth: if you really care about something, then you want to make a difference. Not by clicking a mouse, wearing a badge, or liking a post — but with action.
If you believe in something enough, then take action to make a real difference.
Otherwise you’re just pretending that you care.
Originally published at chris hargreaves.
