How I learned to stop stressing and love working from home
In mid-March, I moved into my new office.
Well, that’s not exactly accurate. In mid-March, I cleared a pile of books, toys, and papers off our living room desk; set up a makeshift barrier to keep the dog and kids out; and tried to convince myself that this was an ad-hoc situation that would end in a few weeks.
Like many others, I was not prepared for the shift to working from home brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. While I’d worked remotely before on occasion, my house had never been my primary base of operations. Like millions of others, I saw my routine of waking up, dropping the kids off at school, working 9-5, and then picking them up from daycare and after-school programs as the normal — indeed, only — way of doing things.
I’ll admit that the transition was initially difficult. I work in the communications department of a large university, and much of my time in those first few weeks was devoted to standing up our pandemic communications, helping students and staff navigate a statewide shutdown, and keeping our community apprised of cases on campus. There were late nights and long weekends at a job where, previously, I never worked either of those things. And it happened as I was finishing grad school, editing and defending my master’s thesis, trying to educate my second-grade son and keep our 4-year-old daughter out of trouble while daycare was closed, and navigating my own growing panic about our changing world. March and April were not easy months.
And then, it got easier. School ended for my son and, eventually, day care opened up enough so that both of the kids could take summer programs. My wife and I, both communications professionals working from home, found a rhythm. And what I found was that not only could I work well from home, I liked it. My productivity and focus increased. I was more dialed in than I was sitting in an office. I didn’t just survive this new normal; I thrived in it.
And it’s been good for our family. Without my wife and I working 30 minutes (in good traffic) from daycare and school, we’re able to get everyone home in time to have dinner at a reasonable hour. Our evenings are more relaxed, I’m in a better mood, I eat healthier and I worry less. I’m more positive both about my work and about my family because the two things are no longer in competition. This pandemic has allowed us to achieve balance that was sorely missing in our lives, and that I’m pretty sure would have caused major problems if left unchecked.
I realize this is not everyone’s situation, and I don’t want to jump too hard into the “bright side of COVID-19” rhetoric. The pandemic has brought sickness, death and frustration to many people, and its heaviness outweighs whatever benefits I might be enjoying. I also understand my wife and I are privileged. We have jobs that can be done from anywhere — before the pandemic, I’d say about 90% of my job involved working on a computer and communicating through email, so not much has changed, work-wise — and we have options for our children during the day.
But I wanted to take some time to say that working from home doesn’t have to be the emergency, better-of-two-evils solution some feel it is. I’ve done my best work during the pandemic, and I’ve also felt years of stress from our busy schedule melt off. So I wanted to share some things that have worked for me; for those struggling with working remotely, these might be helpful.
Get into a morning routine. Early in the pandemic, jokes abounded about Zoom meetings in pajama pants and working from bed. I quickly noticed that the people making those jokes were often the same people who seemed to be most frustrated about working from home. While the temptation was there early on to sleep until about a half-hour before I had to start working and sometimes just spend the morning working in my sweats, I remembered what Jon Acuff said: “pajamas are clothes melatonin.” We need triggers that take us out of relaxation mode and switch us into work mode. I have tried not to vary my routine too significantly from the days when I was commuting. Even though I don’t need to be ready to work until 8:30 a.m., I still wake up at 6:30 a.m., spend some time doing Bible reading and meditation, and take a shower (it’s amazing how crucial a shower routine is to getting me into a work mindset). I let the dog out, get the kids ready and then make coffee. When these rituals are done, I sit at my desk, switch on the lamp light, and am in the right frame of mind to work.
Have a to-do list: I started keeping a daily checklist on Google Keep a few years back, and it’s become an invaluable part of my day. Whatever app you use — or perhaps you choose to scribble it down — it’s a great way to bring your day into focus and avoid the time that can be spent asking “just what should I do today.” I usually make my list the night before or first thing in the morning, and I write out anything of significance, from getting the kids ready and checking emails to work projects and evening chores. In addition to keeping focused, checklists are a great way to stay positive and happy throughout the day, as checking items off gives us a dopamine rush that makes us feel fantastic and motivated. Bonus tip: When you write your to-do list, include items you’ve already done that day so you can quickly scratch them off. In his book The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends this as a way to get a headstart on positive vibes.
Keep in contact: It’s tempting, especially when dealing with kids and work at the same time, to want to fly under the radar and go unnoticed while working remotely. That’s a bad idea. Staying visible with your colleagues is crucial to success when working from home, as it can boost the perception of your work ethic, enhance connectivity among your team, and make you feel more engaged. For some, the hardest thing about the pandemic is the isolation they feel when working from home. For me, the shift has been a benefit. I communicate best through writing and, given my struggles with social anxiety, I dislike having to be pressed for immediate answers. Communicating largely through Slack and email means I’m using the tool that works most effectively for me, and I can be more thought out than I might be if I’m straining for a quick answer in person. Being proactive has also helped me stay busier, take on new opportunities and have a more enjoyable time working. And a quick phone call with some coworkers I enjoy joking around with has elevated the days when they start to get dull.
Keep moving: Good cardiovascular exercises give you an endorphin surge that keeps you going when the day starts to flag, and a long walk can be the key to breaking out of a rut and coming up with new ideas. Working from home has provided a great benefit for this; lunch hour is the perfect time to take that walk around the neighborhood or complete a good workout (but that does mean two showers a day). It’s amazing how many days have started slow only to end with a rush because exercise gave me the focus I was missing. And because I’m removed from my usual office-proximate fast food places and have more time to exercise, I’m healthier than I’ve been in years.
Own your space(s): We have two dedicated work spaces in our home. My wife has cleared out a corner of our room, put in a small desk and chair, and made it her office. As I said upfront, I’ve claimed the desk in the living room. I like it there. It’s a big, open room with no other electronics. It’s just a few feet from the kitchen and bathroom. And it has a beautiful view of our street that is only going to look prettier once the leaves start changing. I don’t work from the couch or dining room table, and I absolutely don’t do it from bed or in view of the television. My workspace is sacrosanct; when I’m there, it’s my zone, and having that dedicated space goes a long way toward helping your mindset. However, variety is sometimes good. I’ve designated our sunporch as a conference room when the weather is beautiful, and there were times this summer I worked outside at our patio table. But even then, it’s been the same seat each time. Shaping that mindset is crucial.
Set your boundaries…: Early in the pandemic, I was stressed and haggard because it felt like work never ended. I’d answer emails throughout the evening and jump into projects on the weekends. Some of this was unavoidable; we were sending out urgent communications about an unprecedented situation. But there were also times when I found myself answering an email or editing a piece that, pre-pandemic, I would have easily let sit until the morning. I found myself sending the kids out of the room so I could focus on work during the day, but I would also leave my family when we were watching TV in the evening to work on a non-urgent request. My mindset had quickly adapted to “well, I’m working from home, so I guess that means I’m always available.” That’s a recipe for burning out, resenting your job and causing problems with your family. So, as much as you can help it, make and stick to office hours. Not every task is a heart in a cooler, so to speak. At the end of your shift, close the laptop and walk away. If you’re not a person who handles emergency requests, turn off your email on your phone and try to refrain from looking at it as soon as you wake up. In return, when you work, keep your focus and dedication on the task at hand. Keep that balance, and you’ll find work is less of a drain and your home life is richer.
…But be flexible: As a rule for maintaining your sanity and equilibrium, I think boundaries are great. But I think there are also times when it’s okay to let those boundaries be a bit permeable. I’m willing to answer urgent requests in the evening and on weekends because if there was an urgent problem with my kids during the day, I’d get up from my laptop and deal with the emergency. While I will generally wait until morning to answer an email that comes in after hours if it’s not urgent, there have been nights I’ve been sitting at my computer and decided to knock out a quick project or edit a short piece because I have the time. I’ve taken advantage of my lack of a commute to start work an hour or so earlier when I’ve had a busy workload, and I’ll often keep working until dinner if there are projects I want to wrap up for the day. But that also means that if there’s a lull or a meeting ends early, I might take 15 minutes to clean up the kitchen, let the dog out or switch over the laundry. In doing so, the tension between work and home deflates and balance can be achieved.
Some days just won’t be your day: Mondays still exist. There will be days when all your routine can’t keep the day flowing orderly, exercise doesn’t make a dent in your attitude, your boundaries are constantly assaulted and your flexibility just isn’t flexible enough for some people. Some days, it will be a struggle to get to 5 p.m. But while the pandemic may introduce stressors, this isn’t exactly news. There were good days and bad days in the office. Some weeks just seem interminably long, no matter where you’re working. Early in the pandemic, it was tempting to believe that a bad day meant this entire situation was unsustainable. Looking back at my journals, I see that, with few exceptions, every bad day was followed by a better one. And that was the same in the days where we I was going into the office. The new situation can make it feel as if these changes are making your world fall apart, but the truth is that, sometimes, we just have bad days. COVID didn’t delete them or create them. Endure a bad day. Close your laptop, enjoy your evening with your family, get a good night’s sleep. Then wake up knowing that, more than likely, a better day is to come.
