Life Above Porn
Let me start by showing you a picture of a cute baby, but make no mistake, this article is anything but cute. Proceed, if you will…
This is all of us in the beginning: innocent, naive, harmless. By ‘us’ I mean you, me, the Pope, the sex-offender, Hitler, everyone — we all started out with the innocence of a baby.
The monsters we become are as a result of the things we learn, which translate into the decisions we take. And while I shouldn’t have to convince you about this, I will still try; porn is a terrible teacher.
We lost today’s battle against sexual purity years ago. If we don’t, or won’t, do anything now, we are losing tomorrow’s battle today.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
King Solomon — Israel’s wisest king (Proverbs 22:6)
We’re messed up inside. All of us. In fact, to quote Pastor Roderick, “If our sins were written on our foreheads, nobody would have time to look at another person’s forehead; we’d all be busy hiding ours.”
For years, porn ravaged my mind. At the height of my addiction, some of the thoughts that entered my mind, even though nobody ever saw or heard them, embarrass me to this day.
Freedom
I have tasted freedom over porn. In its purest form, my freedom saw a streak of about a year and half. I know it’s not perfection,but it’s still huge for me.
The battle leading up to this taste of victory dragged on for well over a decade; 13 years, if I am not mistaken, in which porn had me in a choke hold.
I’m here to tell you that you too can be free. Not just me. You too can turn your back on porn, and its brother, masturbation, and walk in freedom.
If the stats are right (oh yes, there are stats), then about 2 out of every 3 men — in the church— watch porn at least once a month. Remember, these are the church’s stats; you can dream up your own estimates for the world. So you know that brother you believe is so on fire that this would never concern him, or that sister who sings for angels to descend? Yeah, share this with them, okay? Sexual sin does not respect the anointing.
I will share two keys to my freedom based on experience and God’s Word. The first is “truth”, and the second is “light”. This is where you want to pay attention.
1. Truth
“Every failure is as a result of a lie you have believed.”
~Dr. Mensa Otabil
“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”
~Jesus Christ (John 8:32)
The world has lied to us and told us that the hyper-sexuality we see today is normal; that everybody is willingly taking off their clothes at the least opportunity in search of the next orgasm. On your screen, the porn star never has a headache, or a mood swing, or even that time of the month. There’s nothing like erectile dysfunction, or pregnancy, in the images they show us.
Porn has lied to us and we have traded true intimacy — the beauty of relationships, communication and emotion — for cheap one-night stands, booty calls, and ‘quickies’. Women have been so objectified, that today many men care nothing for what is in a woman’s head, just what is in her bra and between her thighs. And this nonsense has found its way into main-stream media as well. * Cough cough * Game of Thrones * cough *
The science of addiction is clear. The neuroscience shows us that porn triggers the same mechanisms in the brain as marijuana, or cocaine. It is an unregulated drug. And if PornHub is right, and 83% of their users in 2021 visited from mobile devices, then the streets really aren’t safe. We’re all about 3 clicks away from the nearest drug dealer… errr, porn site.
So here’s some truth to set you free:
Pornography is designed to enslave you till you are hopelessly bound to it like a drug addict in need of a fix. Porn is not your friend. It will destroy you, your marriage, your relationships, your reputation, and everything you allow it to lay its filthy hands on. Do not let it!
I mean, think about it, it’s a billion dollar industry but they let you watch for free. No business is that kind. Someone is pre-financing your destruction.
Realizing this changed the game for me. It was no longer about saying no to pleasure. It was about escaping death.
2. Light
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
~John the Apostle
The only cure for darkness is light. A full exposure to light will stop darkness where it stands. But men love darkness, you see?
As long as you are determined to keep this is your “dirty little secret”, you might as well stop reading here, close this article and go back to it. If you could solve this problem on your own, you would have by now. Somebody needs to know what you’re going through.
Take your time and think about who that somebody would be for you. I would be sad for you if you don’t have even one person in your life you can open up to.
Every man or woman needs a community of accountability; a brother or sister for the day of adversity — because those days will come. You need people before whom you have no secrets. People who can ask you the embarrassing and hard-hitting questions: like “When was the last time you visited that dirty website?” People who see through your diplomacy and know that you need a Savior just as much as they do. People who can stand with you when the going gets tough, and celebrate with you when you win… because you will win.
I have friends who for a whole year received daily updates from me on how I was dealing with my struggle. Was it embarrassing? Actually, no. Not after the first few times, because a real friend is a real friend. Was it hard to stay consistent? You bet. But it was worth it.
One final angle concerning light is this; ingest God’s Word. The Psalmist said, “The entrance of Your Word brings light!” He also said, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart so I will not sin against You.”
It’s still a spiritual battle, and the cure for darkness is still more light.
Finally, if you fall along the way, the worst thing you can do is to stay down. Take a second to diagnose what led you down that path. A questionable Netflix show? Your music, maybe? Laziness with God’s Word and prayer?
Get up, run back to the Father, implement some safeguards in your areas of weakness, and continue your pursuit of purity. The blood of Jesus is more powerful than your sin.
This works. I know it does.
I’ve lived it.
