Church Hunters: Have you Found the Perfect One?
Welcome to our church today. We are so pleased for you to be here. Don’t worry, this morning we will make sure to leave you feeling good about yourself and remind you that God is only love. We want to make you feel as comfortable as we can.
Sounds a little absurd right?
Unfortunately, though a pastor of a church may not come out and say this directly to a church, it is often stated through various policies or teachings of the church. This is the scary situation which many people are falling into. They believe that church is a place for you to ‘feel good.’ They do not want to leave church with this uneasy or uncomfortable feeling from within. I hate to tell you this, but you should leave church feeling uncomfortable and offended. Church is not supposed to make you feel good. Church isn’t even about feelings. It is about worshipping our One True Creator. Many churches fall into this trap of meeting everyone’s needs, but in the meantime forget about the most important part of church: the Gospel. I am not saying that every church holds true to this statement. It is more of the realization that some are beginning to head down this path, which is a scary one to be on.
Billy Graham states, “The cross is an offense because it says to the world, ‘You’re a sinner.’” If you look at the world around you, one can most definitely realize that people do not want to be considered a sinner or ‘bad.’ David says in Psalm 14:3, “All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Being reminded of that verse should tell all of us something: NO ONE IS GOOD BUT GOD. This is what we should be preaching to those around us. This should be the motivation which points us to our need of the Savior. Instead, it often becomes a turn-off because of our selfish and prideful hearts.
So, I pose a question for you. When you are searching for a church, what is it that you look for? Is it lively music? A variation of ages? Does it have a student or children’s ministry? Does the pastor get excited about the Word of God? Do you feel welcomed? Whatever the answer may be, I suppose everyone has different opinions. While one person may feel right at home and in love with the church and every aspect of it, another may look at the same church and be completely turned off.
I ask another question. Do you feel as though you are challenged by your church? Or is it more of a ‘feel good’ atmosphere?
In the book, Christian Perspectives on Sociology, the author brings up four response strategies when relating to preaching/pastoring.
1. Confronting Challenger
2. Sincere Conformist
3. Impression Manager
4. Peaceful Revolutionary
Each one holds different positives as well as negatives. While one may fall more towards the comfort size then challenge, one has to be cautious as to which may does he or she lean more towards. Let’s break each one of them down a bit more to get a clear understanding.
Confronting Challenger
Here, the pastor leans more to the side of challenging his congregation with hardly to no comfort. Ever hear the phrase 100% truth; 100% grace? In this case, he is more of the truth. While one should share God’s Word with 100% accuracy, there is still room to do so in a loving and/or compassionate way. As stated in the book, “In calling for commitment, he shuns sugar-coated phrases and avoids pious platitudes while boldly proclaiming the demands of the gospel.” He does not hold anything back, but rather he expresses the attitudes and truths of the Gospel in a way which may end up turning people away. One may ask, “Why would people leave if the pastor is sharing nothing but truth?” Sometimes it is the way a person preaches or the attitude which does not come across as genuine. While challenging people is what a church should be doing, we also have to remember the 100% grace side.
Sincere Conformist
On the flip-side, the sincere conformist falls heavily on the comfort side rather than challenge. This church falls into the trap of ‘feeling good’ and making sure everybody feels comfortable. This type, however, typically attracts more people. Reason being? Most people want to feel good about their relationship with God and know that they haven’t done anything wrong. As stated above, this is an unhealthy attitude to obtain. With knowing the truth of the Gospel and how it has impacted so many people’s lives, we should be doing everything we can to remind ourselves of how much we need God and cannot do anything on our own. We are self-satisfying, instant gratification people who only listen to what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. The sincere conformist falls into this trap of meeting everybody’s needs rather than being 100% honest about their total depravity.
Impression Manager
One may consider this type to be very similar to the sincere comforter, the only difference being that the impression manager is not consistent with his preaching. Again, he seeks to give the people what they want to hear rather than what they need. He goes about being open about his struggles while forgetting to challenge his congregation with the Gospel. He makes it a point to draw people in rather than point them straight to God’s Word and people’s need for a Savior. As stated in the book, Christian Perspectives on Sociology, “Social psychologists have observed that inconsistency between belief and behavior tends to produce a state of mental dissonance.” In other words, if you are not putting into action what you believe, you will end up contradicting yourself because quite frankly you are not exactly sure what you believe. Impression managers are in a pitfall when they don’t connect their belief to behavior.
Peaceful Revolutionary
Here we have a healthy balance of both comfort and challenge. He knows how to be open and honest about the Gospel in a way which convicts while still showing love and care. He does not fall heavily on either side, but rather seeks to stay true to God’s Word and let that be his guiding factor. I feel as though most pastors/preachers should fall on this category because they are able to have an equivalence and realization of what is most important to the congregation.
In a research done, Bob Sutton found five characteristics which millennials are looking for in a church: authenticity, engagement, mission, fellowship, approachability. Most millennials nowadays are not looking for ‘feel good’ churches. They want to attend a church where the Gospel is being preached in a truthful way, they are part of a healthy and growing fellowship of believers, people are welcoming and open to those who are new, and the church stands firm in what they believe in. We get too caught up in trying to please everybody. We are trying to put on a show rather than let the Gospel penetrate through people. When we read Scripture, Jesus never gave us a list of the dos and don’ts of a church. He was very straightforward about a church being the people who are worshipping Him alone. A church is full of sinners who are surrendering their lives to God alone. They are seeking His will and asking for His guidance in life. No one church is perfect. What would it look like if it was? It would be completely empty.
I challenge you as well as myself. Why do you go to church? Has it become a checklist for you? Or do you sincerely desire to go to church in order to be fed and challenged by God’s Word? I know I can easily fall into category one. The truth is, we NEED Jesus. Every day we are in desperate need of rescuing. Jesus Christ is our Shepherd who goes after His sheep when they stray. He is our pilot when we don’t know which way to steer. He is our Light when we can’t see the next step in front of us. He is good and He is worth to be praised.
Sources:
Grunlan, Stephen A. and Milton Reiner. Christian Perspectives on Sociology. Zondervan, 1982.
https://billygraham.org/decision-magazine/march-2016/why-does-the-cross-offend-people/
https://www.vanderbloemen.com/blog/5-characteristics-millennials-are-looking-for-in-church
