Freedom in Forgiveness
Rage, anger, and resentment are emotions that are escalating in our society. These are emotions that are fueling a headline message everyday in some way. Think of the racial tension and overtones in our country that are manifested by violence in places like Charlottesville, Virginia where captured scenes on video reveal verbal, physical , and emotional abuse involving hundreds of citizens. Recall the day after the presidential election in November 2016, the comments and quips by the office water cooler pertaining to political opinion and election results. Within a short period of time we knew how every co-worker voted without asking a single question. Recently, the blogs and social media around the NFL and the national anthem took millions of people past the issue of kneeling or standing and migrated to debates and conversation around racism, politics, and patriotism. Take a walk down memory lane back to 9/11, when after being attacked by terrorist activity has us still looking differently at people that are simply dressed in an Islamic lifestyle tradition as a potential threat to our community. Even worse, emotional resentment preventing us from seeing past the hijab into a heart needing a spiritual rebirth.
We are a society often driven by emotion, being quick to anger and slow to solutions. We soon build a wall of resentment, with forgiveness being a process that seems almost unpatriotic, representing weakness and a symptom of social anemia in the minds of multitudes. We live in a society where we are entitled to our own opinion and free to share that opinion in a public forum of social media. After all, it is MY right, and I am exercising MY rights. Isn’t that the direction we have been heading with individual expression of rights? Patience and forbearance are not so easy to find on the keypad of our hearts.
In an article in Time Magazine, a description of angry people identifies them as poor communicators and worse listeners. They are short on empathy and struggle with a different point of view. If both parties are angry, there is diminished potential for middle ground. Shouting becomes the platform to be heard from. Does this ring a bell in what we are witnessing in America?(www.timeinc.net)
Now let’s go deeper than the headlines and national issues that we can personally skate past if we choose to do so. We can bury our feelings and express ourselves superficially by being politically correct to save face and keep public peace , while we are enraged within ourselves. Let’s get close to where every one of us lives and be honest with one another. Why are we challenged to spend time with certain family members during the holiday season? Is there a certain person at work or at our local church we avoid engaging or even talking with? Is there someone from our a past; a boss, a neighbor, a coach or co-worker that simply the mention of their name or thought of that person takes us to a negative place of thinking? Do we serve in a capacity within a group or team setting with others, where we simply hope “that guy” doesn’t show up for the meeting tonight? These are not exceptions or rarities in human relationships. While unhealthy and unaddressed, these personal thoughts are not uncommon, and every person has them. Busted relationships as a result of mismanaged emotions are part of our society.
These emotions are as old as the acts that cause them to rise up in us. They have always been part of our fallen nature and unfortunately they always will be in this life. This is part of our social disease of brokenness and sets a fatality rate for relationships in our society that transcends the physiological destruction of cancer, diabetes, and heart disease combined. The impact of these emotions is temporal and eternal, preventing social healing and sending people to their grave without peace with one another and without peace with God. Emotions that are dividing families, churches, communities, educational institutions, and governments.
There is a cure! It is called forgiveness.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as “a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you , regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” (Greater Good Magazine).
From a sociological perspective there are three ways forgiveness is extended beyond the individual. First, a social interaction between the person acting or offending with the person being offended or acted upon. A social bond is established, social roles are defined, and there is a specific discourse of forgiveness that will result in a different relationship between the two parties.Second, there is a social interaction between the forgiver and their significant others. This is an accountability to others on why forgiveness is being extended to the offender. This can impact the social group of the forgiver and alter relationships. It would seem to me this could have positive or negative effect on the relationships. Certainly, sincerity and authentic reasoning needs to be part of a positive opportunity. A true measure of grace and mercy generated by the Holy Spirit living through us is a key component of internal motivation. This is a heartfelt conviction that can convince others of forgiveness being the right action to take. Third, forgiveness in itself opens a door to new sociological definition. Helping us define forgiveness opens our thoughts to applying it. Forgiveness is a social act that can be applied to any level of offense that breaks relationship. (everydaysociologyblog.com)
The local shooting of five Amish girls in 2006 in Lancaster County serves as an example of extreme forgiveness in an extreme case of violence. In this situation, the families of the victims raised money to assist the wife and children of the shooter and consoled his father during his funeral. The mother of the gunman, Terri Roberts, is now doing public speaking on forgiveness as a way to make a difference to people suffering from acts of violence. This is forgiveness being multiplied, changing lives and changing society. (nydailynews.com)
Merriam -Webster refers to forgive as to stop feeling anger toward someone who has done something wrong that has impacted others. (merriam-webster.com)
While studies of social science encourage and endorse forgiveness as a means of healing society and maintaining relationships, there is also a clear benefit of physical health when forgiveness is exercised freeing the forgiver from stress and anxiety.
What is the biblical perspective on forgiveness? How does it fit into God’s plan for Christians to live in peace? What does Jesus say about forgiveness?
In the scripture the Greek word for forgiveness (aphiemi)literally means “ to let go”. (Strong’s 1513)
The Apostle Paul includes the formula for forgiveness throughout his teachings to believers in the local church. He challenges the Ephesians to put aside bitterness, rage , anger, brawling, slander and all forms of malice. To be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave them (Eph. 4:31–32). His message is clear. Let go of something (those sinful emotions), be something (kind and compassionate), do something(forgive), follow the best example(Christ). How much easier can it be to apply? Paul is repetitive in his message to the Colossians, challenging them to bear with each other, and forgive one another if there is a grievance. Again, he states “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13)
Jesus included forgiveness frequently in his teaching and preaching as well. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus spoke of leaving our gift at the alter if there was an unsettled difference with another believer. Reconcile,then give. He was specific in commanding us to forgive others when they sin against us, so that our heavenly Father would forgive us (Matt.6:14–15). He included forgiving others as part of our model of daily prayer to God in the Lord’s Prayer (Matt.6:9–13). When asked by Peter, how many times we need to forgive, He responded with seventy times seven(Matt. 18:21–22), indicating an unlimited amount of times. In a spirit of true forgiveness , we would not be counting if we were truly letting go. Jesus taught through parables to the multitudes the principle of forgiveness, the best story being the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32). It was clearly a vital part of His teachings for the people following Him as well as included in principles for Christian living for all that would follow in generations to come. Jesus modeled the love and forgiveness of the Father. In Micah 7:18–19 “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”
Jesus was the ultimate example of forgiveness. We witness in scripture throughout His ministry, His constant forgiveness to those who acted or spoke against Him. Finally, while on the cross , Jesus asked God the Father to forgive those who crucified Him, not knowing what they were doing(Luke 23:34). These are the enemies of God that He is forgiving. Think of how through Christ we can forgive others, if we yield to His power of forgiveness because of His love.
Finally, forgiveness brings peace. God in His holiness, could only deal with sin in His wrath and anger if there was not His love, grace, and mercy. He has peace with us because of His forgiveness granted to us in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Forgiveness is not free, it came with a very high cost. The debt was paid by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is because of God’s plan of forgiveness, that we have the capability to forgive others. It is because of this plan that God expects us to forgive others. It is because of this plan that we are set free and can be at peace with ourselves, with others, and with God.
If you do not have peace with God, sincerely ask for His forgiveness and He will grant it to you. If you are not at peace with others, forgive them, and the peace of God that only He can promise and deliver will be yours. In closing, as Paul would often close his letters, may grace and peace be multiplied to you.
works cited
http://www.timeinc.net/Why Americans Are So Angry About Everything / 2016
http://www.nydaily news.com /December9,2013
http://www.merriam-webster.com
http://www.everydaysocioogyblog.com
Greater Good Magazine. What Is Forgiveness?
Kohlenberger. The NIV Bible Concordance. Grand Rapids, Michican. Zondervan 2015
NIV Study Bible, Grand Rapids, Michican.Zondervan 1984
