Grateful for Friendship
I recently had an ongoing discussion with a very good friend of mine. We do not generally see eye to eye on political issues, but this generally does not cause too many problems because our friendship has never really had anything to do with politics. It also does not have much to do with our respective faith either. But it has come to a head, and this conversation really gave me pause.
First I want to give a little background on our friendship and some personal background on each other. His name isn’t relevant, so for this blog I will just refer to him as Jon. I meet Jon almost a decade ago, through a mutual friend. We both share interests in video games, books, movies and music. Our friendship has grown over the years and I think that we would consider the other to be our best friend, if such terms survive into adulthood. He was my best man when I got married, and he is definitely the person I am closet to, outside of family. Jon was very much raised in the church, I was not. He is not active in a church presently, I am.
Jon and I have often had conversations about social issues, both bringing our unique experience and viewpoints. I think the solid foundation of our friendship allows us to discuss things in a way that we otherwise would not be able to. From the outside looking in, Jon would definitely be classified as liberal and I would be classified as conservative. I think though that personally we both avoid classifying ourselves as such. What was illustrated to me over the course of our discussion though, was that maybe we were both, despite our personal efforts, stuck inside that classification whether we chose to be or not.
We both work third shift, so we will often text back and forth throughout the night. This particular conversation started with a meme he sent to me. (Image above)
I laughed and said I was working on something similar, only having to do with how the car tuning culture has gone off the rails. Jon asked what was the correlation. I replied how silly things have become today. He thought it was funny that we both got completely different ideas from the same image. And just like that, we were in a serious discussion about the welfare system. Never underestimate the power of a meme.
Jon’s main point was that it took legislation, public support and no small amount of welfare for me personally to get to the place I am at today. So he could not understand why I was so outspoken against the welfare state, since, in some ways, it had benefitted me personally. I was trying to convey that the current welfare system, starting in the 1960’s, lent itself to creating more dependence than independence for those who it was trying to help. I sent him an article from The New York Post, https://nypost.com/2013/08/19/when-welfare-pays-better-than-work/, which he then quoted back to me, “There is no evidence that people on welfare are lazy”. I said that I did not think that they were lazy, but I also did not think that they were dumb, and all too often it is more economically beneficial for them to continue to receive benefits than to give them up for marriage of a minimum wage job.
Jon then cited Matthew 25:34–40, “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
My response was 2 Thessalonians 3:10, “For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” This is where our discussion took a turn that it normally did not, at least for me. After I sent that, I thought to myself, “Am I really adopting the Christian worldview on the issue we are discussing, or am I simply using the bible to back my own worldview?” That response had the effect I intended it to, Jon conceded some, if very little, ground and our discussion continued. But I wondered if that was the result I should have wanted. Jon is my friend, my best friend, is my goal in our discussions supposed to be his concession of ground? What should my goal be? What is the correct Christian response to social issues such as, but not limited to, welfare?
According to Christian Perspectives on Sociology, “Believers must face squarely the inescapable fact that to do nothing about the system and its unintended consequences is to perpetuate its consequences.” (Grunlan, 307) So in that regard it would be a proper response for me to see the fact that a case can be made for welfare creating more dependence than independence, and what to change that result. But the book goes on to clarify that that wanting, that desire to change, is not enough. There is also my responsibility to be more than “superficially aware” (Grunlan, 307) of the problem, leaving me with inadequate knowledge to effectively bring about positive change. So I cannot just say “This is a problem, and party X also thinks it is a problem, therefore I support party X.” Which, I admit, often seems like an appealing solution.
A second thing the book touches briefly on is the importance of recognizing that it is the institutional system that must be addressed. I am not to be for or against people, in or out of the system, but about changing a system for the better using biblical principles. One of the main sticking points that kept reoccurring in my discussion with Jon, was him repeatedly bringing up the point that I had, until somewhat recently, been one of the people in the system. So how could I be against it, since it had benefitted me personally. What I struggled to convey to him was that my concern was not with individual instances where the system failed the people, or the people abused the system. My concern was that the overall result on society was negative. I do not look at the current welfare system as bad because I think that the people who need it should not be helped. I do think that they should be helped, and that it is a Christian duty to help them. I do not look at it as bad because people abuse it. As a Christian I believe that that will happen in any system in a fallen world such as this.
The concern I have is that the current welfare system causes more social problems than it addresses. I think that the case can be made that it incentivizes unmarried childbirths, and cultivates more dependence on the system than helps people get out of the system. While all of that may be well and good, I cannot honestly claim that my knowledge is more than superficial. I cannot expect that my concern and argument alone will effect positive change. So I cannot think that in this area I am fulfilling my Christian responsibility.
Jon and I were able to find some common ground that night. While our views and experiences do not quite line up, our friendship has shown both of us, I hope, that the other does genuinely care and seriously considers the things we talk about. I do not think that I brought Jon any closer to “my side of the fence” and I know he did not with me. What he did do was give me pause, a time out so to speak. An opportunity to reevaluate my approach, as a Christian, to the greater world around me. I had to honestly ask myself, is my Christian world view shaping my social and political views, or are my political and social views shaping my worldview. It was a reminder that this is a question that must be asked not just once, but repeatedly. Not just in general, but in each specific instance. There is a responsibility I am called to, one that is complex and requires honest analysis and study. In the meantime, though, I will continue talking to my friend.
Sources:
Grunlan, Stephen A., and Milton Reimer. Christian perspectives on sociology. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers, 2001. Print.
https://nypost.com/2013/08/19/when-welfare-pays-better-than-work/
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