IDENTITY CRISIS
I must admit that I am a huge fan of the Jason Bourne movies. The first of the series, The Bourne Identity, set the tone for the action-packed drama that has lasted over last 10 years (five movies) on the big screen. In the first movie we find the protagonist, who is a CIA special-ops hit man, completely unaware of who he is due to amnesia from a traumatic event at sea. The movie, and coincidentally the entire movie series, is developed around the theme of this character in search for his true identity. As one action packed scene after the next transpires, he gets closer and closer to understanding who he is. And if that is not enough, when he begins to understand who he is, he realizes that he has even more history that will help him to find some reason to believe that he has a deeper purpose. He desires a purpose that is greater than simply being a pawn in the chess match of international espionage.
I must admit that my life is not as intense and thrilling as the Jason Bourne movie series. However, I can relate to the dilemma of searching for who I really am. In fact, I believe that all human beings find themselves confronting their own individual identity crisis at various stages of their lives. We may ask ourselves questions like: Who am I? What is my purpose? What is my value? These are important questions. Questions that may have different answers at different times in our lives.
Personally, I have found that my Identity is directly connected to that which I am anchored to. For example, I am the youngest of four children to Dennis (my father) and Nadine (my mother). My family has been a physical and emotional source of community, of which I am identified as an intimate member. I am also identified as a husband to my wife and father of my three sons, who are another extension of that familial community. Spiritually and physically, I am a member of the body of Christ, identified as a child of God through Jesus Christ. Therefore, I am anchored to Christ both spiritually and physically. These are good and valuable foundations in my life. They are entities that bring about opportunities for accountability, fellowship and stability. Ultimately, my identity in Christ enables me to reflect on the origin of God’s design for mankind as a root system as I walk through the peaks and valleys of life. So, I would say that, I am rooted in Him. Thus, I apply the ethics of divine command and natural law that He has given to all mankind in the beginning.
Psychologists have stated that “identity crisis” is part of the natural maturing process. It often begins in adolescence, continues throughout young adulthood and into adulthood as different phases of life present opportunity for maturation and growth. In an article from psychologytoday.com, Dr. Susan Whitbourne gives insight for how to assess one’s contentment or discontentment with his/her identity. Whitbourne states that if a person is “high on commitment” then they are confident in their own identity. Conversely, if they are “low on commitment” then they are less likely to be confident in who they are as a person. She also points out that if one is “high on exploration” they are less sure of their decision-making abilities, due to a lower “sense of self.” Thus, if one is “low on exploration” they are confident with who they are and the decisions that they make.
There are innumerable manifestations of identity crises in our American culture that have an impact on our society, from lawmaking to homemaking. One of the hot topics currently is the issue and ethical dilemma of the transgender issue. Transgender is defined as: “relating to or being a person, whose gender identity differs from the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth” (merriam-webster.com).
I can remember as a young child watching the Olympics and seeing the amazing heroics of Bruce Jenner as he won the Gold Medal and would go down in American sports history as one of the great athletes of that generation. From a distance, he was someone who seemed so sure of who he was. He was literally at the top of his field. Yet, inside he was constantly battling with an intense identity crisis. Bruce Jenner has now gone through the physical change and has altered himself through hormone treatments and surgical augmentation to become a woman. He has not only changed his physical functions and appearance, he has also changed his name to Caitlyn. Jenner has been a spokesperson for the confused and (self-proclaimed) disenfranchised community of people who associate themselves with the LGBTQ community, particularly transgenders. His platform has helped push what once was a societal abnormality, into a developing cultural norm in American society. I read an article that remarked on an interview with Caitlyn Jenner and I was saddened by the lostness of his soul. The conflict that has existed for so long, with no true resolution, is heart-rending. It appeared to be a culmination of a desire to be something other than what he was created to be.
The issue of transgender identification, as well as the stances of homosexuality and the LGBTQ community overall, has become politicized and has infiltrated both our secular and Christian cultures. A recent survey revealed that about 1 out of every 250 people claim to be transgender (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov). Likewise, another staggering survey showed that, “Sixty-eight percent of white mainline Protestants, 67 percent of Catholics and 44 percent of black Protestants now say they accept same-sex marriage, according to a 2017 Pew Research Center study” (nbcnews.com). The impact is far reaching.
Identity crisis is something that all sinners (hence all of mankind) struggle with. In other words, we are not “in the clear” if we don’t battle with the issue of transgender identification or homosexuality per say . We are all prone to sin, which is opposite of God’s plan for us. God’s word communicates very clearly that we were created in His image. Thus, our identity, at its core, is founded and rooted in Him (Genesis 1:27). Identity crisis happens when we lose sight of our Creator’s design for us. A simple and basic ethical understanding and acknowledgment of His natural law can guide us if we accept the clear direction in His word. However, it is inevitable that sin will reveal itself and entice us to reject God’s design and desire for our lives. If we take the bait, like Bruce Jenner, it will create chaos and conflict within ourselves and we will lose sight of who we are and who we belong to. At the core, it is idolatry and covetousness; a culmination of a desire to have something other than what we already have received and/or become someone different that we were created to be. It’s is a systemic issue of humanity from the fall of Adam. We saw it manifest when they ate of the forbidden fruit. We saw it manifest when Cain murdered Abel. If we are honest with ourselves, we find glimpses of it in our own flesh. Only One can redeem us and restore us to our true identity.
One of my favorite bible stories brings the issue of identity crisis to the forefront. The story of Jacob and Esau shows us how covetousness can lead to deception and ultimately lead to identity crisis. In Genesis chapter 27 Jacob set out to deceive his father, Isaac. He desperately wanted the blessing that Isaac had intended for the Jacob’s older brother, Esau, and he eventually went to great lengths to get it. Jacob’s opportunity came one day when Isaac told Esau to go out and hunt an animal, prepare a meal for him, and then he would give him his blessing. As soon as Esau left, Jacob’s mother prepared a meal for Isaac and helped Jacob disguise himself to look and smell like his older brother. When Jacob went into his father’s chamber, Isaac asked who was there. (Verse 19 reveals the beginning of his identity crisis.) Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your first-born.” Thus, we see Jacob claiming to be Esau… He desired that which was not his and pretended to be someone who he was not in order that he might receive the coveted blessing of the firstborn son, whom he was not. Jacobs next move was to flee. It was not safe for him to stay because his brother Esau was sure to inflict harm on him (if not death), if he found him.
Over the next 20 years, Jacob had many trials as well as many blessings. God sustained him and blessed him abundantly. He accumulated wealth, established a family and was guided by God. However, later in the story we can see how Jacob comes to grips with the identity crisis that had been dormant since he left his father’s home. In Chapter 32 Jacob learned that Esau was nearby. He was reminded of the past and was fearful of what his brother would have done to him and his family if he caught up to him. Then in and amazing scene, we saw Jacob battle through his fear and trepidation at the brook called “Jabbok” (which means “emptying” or “pouring out”) in Chapter 32: 22–32. During this time of reflection Jacob wrestled with God. He was relentless. Yet, we learn that Jacob’s hip socket was disjointed, and the Man told Jacob to let Him go. Jacob refused and said, “not until you bless me.” (Here we see Jacob again seeking a blessing.) Then God responded and said to him, “What is your name?” He responded, “Jacob.” Then God blessed him and named him Israel.
This story is powerful. If we are willing to do a little self-assessment, we might be surprised by the things that we have identified with or pretended to be for the sake of seeking a blessing or desire that has not been given to us from God in His timing. While this does not exhaustively tackle all the psychological and physiological elements that come into play with bigger issues like transgenderism, it does speak to the root of our identity issues. We have not been created in the image of God to be like God and decide our own identity. We must trust in Him, pursue Him and follow His design for our lives. I guess you could say that, sometimes we just need to wrestle it out with God in prayer and he will break us to remind us of who we are.
Works Cited
“Across U.S., LGBTQ Christians Try to Change Hearts and Minds from the Pews.” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/across-u-s-lgbtq-christians-try-change-hearts-minds-pews-n841611.
“Are You Having an Identity Crisis?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201203/are-you-having-identity-crisis.
Brockes, Emma. “Caitlyn Jenner on Transitioning: ‘It Was Hard Giving Old Bruce up. He Still Lives inside Me’.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 8 May 2017, www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/may/08/caitlyn-jenner-bruce-transitioning-kardashians-reality-tv-star.
Meerwijk, Esther L., and Jae M. Sevelius. American Journal of Public Health, American Public Health Association, Feb. 2017, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5227946/.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2001. Print.
“Transgender.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/transgender.
