PLEASE, Don’t go!!!!!!!
A child is being disruptive in class.The class is removed so that no one gets hurt.. safety comes first. He wants nothing to do with being directed into fixing his behavior. Teacher calls for support and now there’s three people of authority standing in front of him using the protocol on how to handle behavior issues, that only make the child more angry. Using CPI which is Crisis Prevention Institute an international training that specializes in the safe management of disruptive and assaultive behavior, the child is removed. This example is of a child who is only 5 years old and in Kindergarten. At times this could be a typical day at work for me.
I have worked at a public school for 13 years and have been confronted with these kind of behaviors. What triggers it? It is almost uncertain what can trigger the disruptive behavior. Kids are suffering with separation issues, separation from parents. Parents seek help from counselors, doctors and other supportive organizations where they would diagnose the child with behavior disorder and medicate him. Can that child really express himself and say what is affecting him?
Lets start from the beginning of that child’s day. 5 o’clock in the morning time to walk up, mom and dad are preparing for work. Room by room they enter with emphasis “time to walk up, time for school” by now its 6 am eventually, grumpy and extremely tire the kids get dropped off at a before school program at about 6:45. By 8:30 am they are dropped off at their school by an adult from that program. After a long day at school they get picked up and taking to the after school program until parents can pick them up at about 6 pm. Once they are home 8 pm end of the day,” Good Night, mom, Good night dad”. The next day routine all over again.
This goes on at many homes. We live in a world that seem to be moving very fast. There is basically no time to breath and making time for the family could be complex.The many changes that has put a burden on this social institution call family has brought oppression and depression. One factor out of many could be the economy. Parents in order to provide a better foundation find themselves working 2 or even 3 jobs. What happens then to the universal institution called family?Would this create a strain? Children are put in before and after school programs or day cares providing support and trusted by parents to care for their child. These institutions provide educational support, social skills and even emotional support.
What is a family? A family is a unit created by blood, marriage, or adoption. It can be described as a nuclear ( parent and children). One of the functions of the family is to maintain and care of the group members. This social institution has a strong bondage, but the severity of the economy struggles have cracked the yoke on the structure. The deepening economic crisis is profoundly impacting children, youth and families. Its effects are rippling through the multiple contexts in which children and youth are situated. All of these changes can have profound and lasting effects on the mental health of our nation’s children and youth, often causing problems in terms of anxiety, lowered self-esteem and other emotional/behavioral difficulties.
My opinion is not directed to such program or day cares,for these programs have their good benefits but representing that child who is medicated but only suffers from parental separation. Parents need to work to provide, we all know someone has to pay the bills. But as that child struggles to focus on behaving properly, parents are being look at as incapable to demonstrate proper parenting skills. Should we blame parents for their child’s behavior or is the oppression of our daily living the blame and it adds to his or her behavior. We all know that creating bonds, spending time with family strengthens family ties.
On a Biblical note, God from the beginning create the family, The concept of family is extremely important, both in a physical sense and in a theological sense. The concept of family was introduced in the very beginning, as we see in Genesis 1:28, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. We also see early that family members were to look after and care for one another as in the case of Abel and Cain. The importance of family can be seen in the provisions of the Mosaic covenant. For example, two of the Ten Commandments deal with maintaining the cohesiveness of the family. In addition working is also mandated by God and is part of God’s plan for us all. He told us about it right off the get go in Genesis 2:15 as it says, “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” Therefore it is crucial to provide for the family. Some work facilities are striving to understand the importance of the unity of family.It is our duty as a community They have provided day care so that the bondage can stay in tacked. As the great prophet Paul said in Philippians 2 1:5 “is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate ? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another , and working together with one mind and purpose”. We should humble ourselves and help one another so we can better ourselves and remove some of the stress that live can bring. As far as the economy, is not in our hands to change. As adults all we can do is cope and survive and be responsible for our teachings on live, moreover making sure to put God first.
So let’s go back to the beginning and the 5 year old and the questions asked. Why is that child acting out? Do we need to medicate that child?I forgot to mention that while being disruptive he screamed out “I want my Mommy”. Separation for children of all ages, activates the biological response to stress, which includes increased heart rate and blood pressure, as well as elevated hormone levels. For very young children, this is probably going to have the greatest impact because the relationship between infant/young child and their caregivers is so important. Some children will become tearful when separated from their parent, others will tantrum, become distracted, nervous or aggressive. Parents can often feel frustrated and burnt out, kids can pick up on that. It can feel hard to get the balance right between providing comfort and closeness while also encouraging bravery, independence and a sense of competence.When kids experience scary things, it activates something called their fight-or-flight response, also stress hormones.What turns off these stress hormones is the love and compassion of a parent. This could explain why that child was screaming out “Mommy “ maybe its because that child cannot explain what he’s feeling, but is familiar on how to make it better.
We all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents, but it is clear that one of the most important things to do is make time to demonstrate to that child who is suffering from parental separation that its going to be OK. Yes, they might not understand, but they need to be prepare on the why and how things are occurring. Pointing fingers and blaming parents for children’s disruptive behaviors does not fix the situation. Society itself should be supportive and understanding not only to that child, but also to the parent, focusing on how we can subside, or make sense of what that child is feeling.
Separation disorder is what professional would call it, I mean everything has to have a name, right. But what the child is feeling is normal, no medication needed. It’s normal for young children to not want to stray too far from us. We are animals after all and survival instincts tell our young that too much distance or time between them and us is a risky thing. That said, the intensity of this normal anxiety in that child’s life differs depending on the temperament and on how responsive her caregivers have been to the child’s need for comfort and closeness.
L, Michelle. “ 6 Reasons spending time with family is more important than you think.” Life Advancer, 2017. web. 06 Oct. 2018 https://www.lifeadvancer.com/spending-time-with-family/
N, B Charles. “The concept of the family: Demographic and Geneological Perspectives.” Sociation Today, vol.2, N.2, 204. web. 06 Oct. 2018 http://www.ncsociology.org/sociationtoday/v22/family.htm
Originally published at medium.com on October 8, 2018.
