The Government Should Not Endorse Same-Sex Marriage…and also Traditional.

I remember my wedding like it was yesterday. It was one of the happiest days of my life. My wife and I stood in front of God, our family and friends and decided to commit ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. It was a joyous moment filled with laughter and celebration and will remain ingrained in my mind and memory for the rest of my life. A few weeks later I remember meeting up with my pastor (the man who married us) who presented us with a piece of paper that we were to sign and turn into the city department signifying our union in marriage. I thought this odd, didn’t we just celebrate our marriage a week ago? Is this paper really what represents my marriage? We turned in the paper, filled out some other paperwork and left the courthouse. Is that what our society identifies as marriage? A piece of paper we turn in saying that we are married, a change to our names, joint bank accounts, and maybe a house? With the political issues involved in the United States today, along with the divorce rate and the number of man-hours dealing in court with settlements, why is the Government involved in this? This got me thinking, with all the issues in our society today surrounding marriage, why doesn’t the Government just get out of it?

I’m under the impression that the Government sucks at everything. Harsh words, I know, but let's face it, everything they seem to pry their fingers into always seems to turn out worse than originally planned. I agree with Rand Paul’s assessment; “Since the Government has gotten involved with marriage they have done what they always do- taxed it, regulated it, and redefined it” (Paul). When I began reflecting on Government involvement in marriage I wondered, why did the Government get involved? Why doesn’t the Government get out of marriage completely? If we look at the underlining principle for why Government incentivizes marriage in the first place, I think you can see their reasoning, and mine as well.

The family is the cornerstone of American Society. The family is responsible for passing on norms and values to the next generation. Without the preservation of the family unit, society would collapse. The Government is well aware of this, and rightly so incentivized marriage as a means to keep both the father and the mother together in the rearing of children. The Government promoted marriage in order to make men and women responsible for each other as well as any children they might have. The norms of monogamy were supposed to encourage childbearing as well as make it most likely that a child will be raised by their biological mother and father. Marital norms would also stress commitment as well as shared responsibilities. According to the Heritage Foundation, there are numerous statistics that support the development of children born in a home with a father and mother present than in a single parent situation (Rector). With this understanding I would like to posit a question; does the Government actual support and incentivize marriage, or does the Government support and incentivize the rearing of children by the father and mother? If you think these two things are the same thing in our society today, that might be the problem.

The Government is not in the business of affirming our love. It does not care who we live with or who we have sex with. The simple issue is, in the case of the rearing of the next generation, the Government wants children to be fully developed, engaged, successful, upright citizens who will make up our future leaders, lawyers, teachers, politicians, and businessmen. Studies show that traditional marriage, that is between a male and a female with the intent of having children and therefore becoming the father and mother is the best structure for development. If incentivizing marriage will do this, then so be it. But with the erosion that is taking place in marriage, the single-parenthood rate climbing, and the increase in children being born out-of-wedlock, is the Government incentive working, and is it needed anymore?

One of the biggest obstacles of removing Government from marriage would be contractual obligations that are created by the marriage license. Issues of this degree seem to be the biggest hindrance for people to side with the removal of marriage from the political spectrum. I am no professional lawyer by any means, but I think if it were possible to revamp the power of a will in this case, all power of a marriage license could then be transferred over to a will. I was in a recent conversation with a friend of mine who told me his sole reason for getting married (he was an older gentleman who was previously married) was so that if he passed away his now wife would get his house. This to me, and with no judgment on my friend seems to be a terrible reason to get married and further reveals the dissolution that has taken place in regards to marriage. A simple will stating the case upon death that his now wife would get the house seems to be a plausible and legally binding decision if made through a will.

Another argument used by those opposed to traditional marriage is equality and discrimination. But as I’ve stated above the Government doesn’t care about this issue in the sense of equality. The Government is indifferent. The whole reason for incentivizing marriage in the first place was for child rearing. Should the Government drop incentives, inequality goes out the door as well. Discrimination is an interesting argument, and one as well I see that would fall to the wayside should Government be removed. If individuals were taxed on an individual basis, instead of based on relationship status, again we would see equality and the removal of discrimination. Now I hear you, all you married people out there screaming at me because of the tax breaks we get from being married. But remember, I also am one of you. Unfortunately, as I see it, freedom and individual liberty should trump financial breaks and incentives. “But what about the children? Their expensive and we cannot afford them without the Government’s help!” Again, I hear your argument but again I appeal to statistics and facts. Government dependence such as the Welfare state has wrecked our society. According to the same Heritage Study I cited above since the 1960’s when the Welfare state was enforced; the single family rate has skyrocketed. The white out-of-wedlock birth rate remained almost unchanged at around 2 percent between the 1930’s to the 1960’s. A steady rise began in the 60’s and reached nearly 20 percent by 1990. In recent years as close as 2008 it is at around 29 percent. The black out-of-wedlock birth rate doubled in just a little more than a decade from 24.5 percent in 1964 to 50.3 percent in 1976. In 2008 it now hoverers at a whopping 72 percent (Rector)! As we can see, Government dependence, although initially with good intentions, doesn’t always lead to good outcomes. The same holds true for Government involvement in marriage. The best logical outcome for this arrangement is a divorce!

Being a Christian I hold to the Biblical view of marriage. Man and Woman were created in the image of God and it was God’s plan that man and women should be united to become one flesh. From the Biblical perspective, God’s plan in terms of marriage was to convey the image of God and for man and women to be together monogamously and “to be fruitful and fill the Earth” (Gen. 1:28). Now coming from a Christian perspective I understand the Christian frustration with how marriage has been redefined and under attack in this country. But just as I realized when I got married, what Christians today need to realize is who were they getting married for? Was it to please God (Obviously for my wife and I as well) or the State? I don’t need recognition from the Government letting me know that I am “officially married”. My status changed when I said “I do” in front of God, my wife, and friends and family as witnesses. From a religious point of view, there is an inherent reason in purpose for marriage. In the secular world, the only purpose and reason is equality and Government incentives. If we remove the incentives, why would people then get married? Who among you, do you know would run to the courthouse to get a piece of paper if that paper is truly meaningless? Let's face it, our society is fleeing from the Judeo-Christian worldview in terms of marriage, sex, and the family. People are having children out-of-wedlock, living with each other when not married, engaging in sex when not married, as well as a bevy of issues surrounding same-sex marriage. This issue is something we face as believers, it should not be as citizens of the state. The Constitution of the United States is silent on the issue of marriage and for good reason.

Paul, Rand. Rand Paul: Government Should Get Out of the Marriage Business. Time, 29 June 2015, time.com/3939374/rand-paul-gay-marriage-supreme-court/.

Rector, Robert. “Marriage: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty.” The Heritage Foundation, 5 Sept. 2012, www.heritage.org/poverty-and-inequality/report/ marriage-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty#_ftn19.