The True Beauty of a Family
“She stole the last cookie!”
“My little brother is always following me. It is so annoying!”
“My dad is my role model.”
These are probably a few phrases which you have probably heard in your lifetime, or maybe you have said them yourself. They are phrases which point to one thing: a family. To grow up in a loving home with a family which you can be open and feel safe with is one of life’s sweetest blessings. It is a comfort to know you can go home and unwind from a busy day surrounded by people who love you no matter what. A family does not necessarily depend on the number of people, but rather those people you are connected to on a deeper and more intimate level. They are those people whom you have grown up with for years and have raised you into the son or daughter you are.
Now, everybody has not only different views on families, but also various experiences, negative and positive. Speaking from my own life, I have had a fairly positive experience. I grew up with godly parents and three older siblings. We were never necessarily the ‘arguing’ type of family, though we did bump heads every now and then. When it came to the spiritual side of things, pretty much whenever there was any type of church related event, my family was there. My dad always encouraged us kids to do our devotions even at a young age. Still to this day we are relatively close, maybe not too much in distance but rather in relationship. We have had our fair share of trials and challenges in our life, but it was through those times where we grew the closest. Our faith has been stretched numerous of times, but because of our firm foundation in Christ we were able to lean on Him for strength and guidance.
Because of my background, I have a different view on family than someone else may have. Though people may differ on what a family is supposed to do or look like, I believe Charles Cooley said it right by stating, “the family is the most basic primary group.” The family is ultimately responsible for the upbringing and disciplining of the child. It is during those early years where the child learns the basic skills and behavioral norms. As a child, you soak up everything like a sponge. Everything is brand new to you and you are starting to enjoy it all. When I think of a family, I like to relate to 6 words.
1.) Faithful
A family should remain faithful to not only each other but also to God. There foundation should first be centered on Christ. When bad times arise, they know they can turn to one another for support and strength. Families do not let their differences get them down, but rather they are open and ultimately stay committed to one another.
2.) Appreciative
To know that someone appreciates you and what you have accomplished is one of the most encouraging things. No matter what you do in life, your family should be behind you as your biggest cheerleaders. Sometimes all we need to hear someone say is, “I’m proud of you!” Families are the ones we should feel most honored to share what’s going on as well as feel their encouragement.
3.) Memorable
In the midst of all the craziness occurring in this world, remember to have special meaningful times with your family. They are the ones who will be with you through the thick and thin. Have funny moments together. Do crazy things and learn to laugh as a family.
4.) Inseparable
They see that friends come and go, but you have your family for a lifetime. We need to learn and know that our families are the ones we can run to first. They should have open ears willing to listen to whatever concern is happening. Though not every family is going to be as close as others, but we need to recognize that families are crucial to a child’s life.
5.) Loving
When your family is truly loving and caring for one another, it is incredible to see what God can do. We all know those families who seem as though they have everything together and nothing ever goes wrong. I believe it is because they recognize the truest from of love through Jesus Christ, and they exemplify that within their family on a day-to-day basis. They love each other no matter what happens. They lend listening ears and open arms yearning for each other’s embrace.
6.) Your Closest Friends
Though it is not an adjective, there is something to be said about having a family who you trust with sharing every part of your life with. Your family is the one who has seen you grow up and has nurtured you along the way. What better way than to continue sharing life with the people closest to you? They are free of judgment and are wanting you to be open and honest with them. You should be able to look at your family and be oh so grateful for who God has placed you with for the rest of your life.
I believe when you have a healthy view of family, this will be of much help going into a marriage. You realize growing up that living with people who are different than you is not always easy. Most of the time it is fairly challenging. You have to learn each other’s schedules, learn what each person likes and doesn’t like, and most importantly learn how to communicate with one another. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. Within a family, you are free to express yourself and be open with one another, though it is not always easy. You also have to learn how to handle conflict. Now, going into a marriage it is no different. You are learning everything about the other person. You are learning all the likes and dislikes of your spouse. You have to realize that you’re both different and how does that work in a marriage. And you have to learn how to best communicate with one another.
Looking at it from a biblical perspective, before two people choose to be married, they need to realize what a marriage is intended to look like. While yes, we all imagine having this white picket fence, golden lab, perfect looking marriage, the truth is that is not always the case. We need to realize that a marriage consists of two sinners joining together desiring to serve a perfect and holy God together. Alistair Begg says it well by stating, “Relationships are a fact of life, but no human relationship should be a distraction or hindrance to our commitment to Jesus Christ.” Your spouse should be pointing you closer to Christ on a daily basis. He/she needs to realize that Christ comes first in any type of relationship. He should be the One to be focused on and not each other. A marriage should resemble Christ and the church. It is God-ordained. We need to remember that a marriage is not for the benefit of the person, but rather for each other and most importantly God. A couple should be striving to build up His kingdom.
Relationships are not a walk in the park. They take time to develop and mature. In a marriage, two people pledge to each other that through the good times and bad, they will strive together and not fall apart. Their strength should not be coming from themselves, but rather from God who is the ultimate source of strength in our lives. You also realize you need to surround yourself with people who will draw you guys closer to Christ and keep you accountable before Him. It is not easy doing things on your own, but when you know you have other people who are supporting you and loving you along the way, when times get hard you know you have encouragement from those people you call family. As John Piper says, “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way He relates to His people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.” You see, being married is not about us. It’s about the beauty of the gospel.
