What Is Family
Google image ‘family’ what will come up? Two older looking people and several smaller looking versions of them. I guess that’s what family is? At least that is what we are told via the ‘internet’ and majority of books that are in our school systems. But family for majority of people is so much more or less then the simple two parents and a few siblings. For some people family is one mom and several siblings, dad has never been in the picture and more than likely never will be. Or maybe it’s a single dad with several kids, mom is in and out of their lives but never a constant presence like the father is. Another family could be grandparents and the grandkids mom and dad are not able to create a stable environment, so the grandparents have taken custody. The list could go on of the different types of family systems we see in America well in the world but specifically America today. Family can strike so many different images in people. I am sure as you research studies of people who have been asked, “what is family?” the list of descriptions is endless. Family can bring up joy, fear, loneliness, neglect, love, hate, abuse, etc. All these labels or descriptions can help us to maybe just maybe skim the surface of what family is specifically in America.
You can see that a family is a social institution. Well it is defined as a social institution a family is called to be able to fulfill essential needs that we as humans have (1). Within that functioning of family and fulfilling the needs of the people in it will vary within the culture and environment that family is in. The culture of the family will have a huge influence on a child and the family. A Hispanic cultured family may be a lot more engaging in respecting and gaining knowledge and wisdom from the elders within that family. While an Irish family is more focused on the generation coming up and making sure that generation is well taken care of and being nurtured in order to keep the traditions that have been passed down for years. An urban vs. Suburban family could really be a book and there are books written about the different functions within these two types of families. The institution within a suburban family is more than likely one where the parents are going to be the main providers and therefore the children can reap off the benefits of the parent’s social status. If the parents are financially stable and able to provide consistently without hesitation those kids are more than likely going to have a good education that will enable them to go to college and into a field that they too will be able to be financially successful and stable in. Now each family case is different, and it would be just inconsiderate, rude, stupid, etc. to not voice that. This is just a general statement of patterns that are seen in families from the suburban type area. The challenge within this type of a setting as a child to be able to have a stable environment may not necessarily be material type things being provided but more the key emotional and relational needs. A pattern of neglect and abuse is highly seen within this family institution as material needs are being met but most other lost in the ‘American Dream’ being fulfilled.
Now a family from an urban area, social institutions are going to be very different and difficult in a different way. Poverty is going to be a huge hindrance and staple to how this family is going to function. Yet that may not be the case that they are poor but more of the general area is filled with violence, drugs, homelessness, etc. All will be a key factor in how that child is raised by their parents. This doesn’t mean that this kid is going to fail or worse off in my opinion but just has different obstacles to face then a child from the suburban setting. “If people have clothes and a place to sleep, they may not consider themselves poor — because they know there is always someone who is worse off than them,” said Mariana Chilton, professor of health management and policy at Drexel University (2).
Within both different social structures there are systematic norms that are trying to be fulfilled within this family institution which is highly influenced by the country in which the family is living in. These norms are what creates a safe environment for the children within these households. Majority of the time we as humans see a house and if it looks big, pretty, white picketed fence, etc. Then that family has got to be doing well on all aspects of social institutions but also levels of norms. Then you have the flipped perspective or view that a family in a two-bedroom apartment in the city has got to be filled with all kinds of struggle within social institutions and a norm for the kids in that household forget about it? These are both wrong judgments for so many reasons; the area in which you raise a child does not necessarily cause for safety or the child to feel safe. The parents create the safe environment and norms within that child’s life and schedule. Family is meant to be second to the social structure of life the first being God.
“If you have a kid, you are a disciple-maker. The question, the argument, is not…Are you making disciples? Rather, what are you discipling them toward? That’s always the question, because as a parent, you are discipling your children. You’re shaping how they see the world. You’re shaping how they interact with that world. You have created for them touchdowns that are success and failures that are marked. You have done that.” (3) Said Matt Chandler This is a huge part of what a family a Christian family is. Making disciples from generation to generation. This can and is a huge struggle in a culture that has values that go opposite to what the word of God calls us to do as disciples. Which is love one another, share the gospel, live opposite to the culture around us. There is a huge struggle in this because we can see that the culture around us social institutions can to an extent look like what the bible teaches. Worldly families are teaching their kids to love, to be kind to one another, to share and not be selfish, to be who they were created to be. But its twisted and the twist is that it’s not based and rooted in truth. It’s not rooted those lessons are not rooted in the Truth that is sharper than any double-edged sword, that can penetrate the heart and divide bone and marrow, that discerns our spirit. But most importantly those lessons are not based on the Gospel truth that Jesus loves them and that love allows them to be sons and daughters of God.
God calls us to make disciples of all nations. The best place to start is in the place and people in which you spend majority of your life with. The saying is true you don’t choose your family they choose you or birth you either or is correct. But in saying that you do choose the way in which you as a parent or guardian raise your children. Is Christ the center of the norms in which are being set? In a culture that is lacing biblical truths with tiny lies of pride and selfishness how are the kids being taught to see the truth? Family is who we are. When we are born our identity is quickly put into action within this unit to which we were born into. Are you the younger or older sibling? The smart one or trouble maker? Mommas boy? The list goes on. What are Christian families today instilling in their kids the moment they are born or even finding out they are pregnant? Jesus tells us that we were knit together in our mothers’ wombs by God our Father he has touched and been a part of every single moment of our lives here on earth. Why would we not then have him as the center of our most intimate relationships being our family?
In conclusion, what is Family? Family is Gods disciples. Family is gospel bearing world changing, children changing this world through His love. Family is broken people being made new day by day as they pursue the only one who can make them whole. Family brings Him the gory and honor he deserves as they represent Him here on earth as it is in heaven
1. Christian perspectives on Sociology.
3. https://www.tvcresources.net/resource-library/sermons/milestones
