When is it okay to church shop?
When it comes to discovering the perfect church for you, we often come across many obstacles in our path. We might not like the setting, the environment, the theology, the style of preaching, the lack of involvement for children or possibly even the music. Some of us might say something like this “I don’t know, the sermon kind of bothered me. I didn’t like the sound of his voice. How about that solo? Yikes, someone was off key. Also, what’s up with those offering bags? I’m more of a plate man myself. And anyway, I’m not sure they have the kind of youth program we’re looking for.” [1] If this is you then you might consider church “jumping” or “shopping”. Recently a group of friends and I discussed this topic and many interesting points were made. Is it okay to church shop? Is it wrong to jump from church to church? These are important questions I hope to answer in this blog that will hopefully enable you to make the best possible decision.
Think with me for a second, can you ever remember a time when you were new to an area, wanted to attend church but was unsure where to go? Can you recall any time where you began visiting churches because you were seeking the best place to settle into and get involved with? I know for me I found myself in this place a number of different times. Is that wrong? Is it safe to say at some point we all go through this? As a college student I experienced a situation like this where I was new to the area and wanted to try out a number of churches to ensure I found the best one. Now I am not saying in this circumstance church shopping is wrong, however, there are some instances where I do believe it isn’t the best option.
The first idea I can think of is when we do not agree with how the pastor leads the church. I know I have gone to churches before where the sermon didn’t appear to challenge me a lot or the pastor didn’t appear to be leading the congregation in the best way I saw fit. I believe this is a reason why many people would want to leave the church. My question is, should we always be challenged at church? Is there a time to comfort and a time for the challenging? I believe a great leader is one who can do both. However, if you feel you are not being challenged properly and being fed the true message of the gospel, is it okay to shop then? This makes me think of a passage in Proverbs that states “Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers”. I believe this addresses the importance of a strong leader and how a church thrives off of leadership. I do not know about you but I want a leader who has faith in their beliefs, can make the hard choices, has a clear vision, is courageous, honest, has integrity, and pushes people to be the best they can be [2]. Does this sound like the current leader of your church? Does this sound like the type of leader you want to be under? If not maybe church shopping is something to consider.
So back to my question is church shopping ever okay?
This is a topic that many people have wrestled with over time. Some believe it is okay and others do not. Recently I read an article by Tom Fuerst that went on to address this very question. She went on to explain how it is never okay and had a number of reasons for that. One reason mentioned was that by “avoiding committing to a local community you are unintentionally limiting the prophetic voice that speaks up only when someone knows you well. Then the author went on to discuss how we shouldn’t mess around, we should find a place, get involved and not leave because no church we attend will ever be perfect [3].
After reading this I can’t help but begin to question the many reasons why I left the churches I did. Should I have left the church? Were my reasons for leaving the church legitimate? These are tough questions to ask but I believe they are important ones. Recently, my church went through a very difficult season of change where our pastor stepped down because of sin related issues. It was at this time I had to ask myself, should I remain active in this church or part ways? I had to consider if the ride was worth the pain. I had to consider my thinking and I decided to stay. I stayed because the church was a place that helped me grow, it was a body that encouraged me, pushed me, motivated, and pulled me closer to God. The new pastor was a man that had many of the qualities I mentioned earlier (e.g., courageous, honorable, and trustworthy) and I felt was best prepared to lead the church. I read it this way “Godly church leaders are responsible to lead God’s flock by walking personally with God and by working together to help church members do the same” [4]. I believe the new leader was just that, I believe our new pastor was a godly man who I could hold to this level of accountability.
However, many people did leave the church. Many people felt their families were under attack, their children were not being led properly, and growth was not able to occur. I ultimately believe it is important to look out for the well-being of your family as well as making sure you are in a place where growth and change can best occur. I very easily could have decided to leave the church but I had to make the choice for myself. Were the reasons for leaving legitimate? This is something you ultimately have to decide for yourself.
So back to my question, is church shopping ever okay?
Previously I gave many reasons and examples of my experiences of church hopping. However, I read an article recently where John MacArthur helps us on this very idea and gives us reasons to consider when leaving a church. He gives us the following: [5]
- Heresy on some fundamental truth is being taught from the pulpit (Gal. 1:7–9).
- The leaders of the church tolerate seriously errant doctrine from any who are given teaching authority in the fellowship (Rom. 16:17).
- The church is characterized by a wanton disregard for Scripture, such as a refusal to discipline members who are sinning blatantly (1 Cor. 5:1–7).
- The unholy living is tolerated in the church (1 Cor. 5:9–11).
- The church is seriously out of step with the biblical pattern for the church (2 Thess. 3:6, 14).
- The church is marked by gross hypocrisy, giving lip service to biblical Christianity but refusing to acknowledge its true power (2 Tim. 3:5).
In conclusion, leaving a church is a very serious thing. Ultimately it is a decision we will need to give an account to before God. Hopefully after reading this blog you are more informed of the seriousness this situation presents. Ultimately I believe there are good and bad reasons for leaving a church. However, I believe it is important to have a humble heart and attitude. Ultimately, it is important to make sure the church is the pillar of the truth (1 Timothy 3:15) and Jesus Christ is the one and only head (Ephesians 1:22). I believe if your church is grounded in those two things, then it would be rather difficult to leave the church. If after reading this blog you feel lead to leave your church in any way, I would encourage you to first speak to someone. In doing so you will be able to express your concerns, hear their opinions, and possibly seek a solution. But above all else, be honest, take your time in making your decisions, do your research. The more research you have the easier it will be to make the best decision for you.
Resources:
https://www.theologyofwork.org/the-high-calling/blog/how-find-church-church-shopping-tips-ex-pastor [1]
http://www.ministrymatters.com/reach/entry/5624/is-it-ok-for-me-to-church-hop [3]
https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-58-responsibilities-church-leaders-hebrews-137-17-19-22-25 [4]
http://www.biblestudytools.com/blogs/founders-ministries-blog/when-do-you-leave-a-church.html [5]
