“Youth Leaving the Church” Blog Renaming Contest
Sorry, no prizes! For many of us when we see the word contest, we assume a prize, which peaks our interest, but the definition of contest does not guarantee a prize. Were you sucked in by the word contest in the title of this blog and are feeling duped to find there are no prizes? Are you going to stop reading the blog because you feel I deceived you and now you can’t trust what I say? Perhaps you’re being forced to read the blog for a class assignment. You’ll hang around long enough to read it, but then either forgetting or not caring about what you have read. You may even vow to never come back to read another blog again. Or perhaps you will overlook my lie and accept that no one is perfect. You may even interact by leaving a comment, perhaps about the importance of being honest. Maybe you will glean little from this blog, but will move onto reading other blogs, not assuming all blogs lack value and all writers are dishonest.
Our church attending youth are having similar feelings about a lack of authenticity in the church and are leaving at what the church considers an alarming rate. In researching the top ten reasons why youth are leaving the church I found almost as many lists with a different top ten, with hypocrisy topping all lists. Like the contest seekers reading this blog, our youth leaving the church are seeking for authenticity, but feeling duped by what they are finding there. Some are forced to stay, by parents or peer pressure, but leave as soon as they have the chance. Some will stay but will never truly embrace the Christian faith. Others are switching out of mainline churches to churches that they find are teaching biblical truth.
Researchers are frantically trying to determine why youth are leaving the church and how to get them to return, although none of the research is saying why the church is so frantic about this exodus. It is true that the statistics they present show church attendance down and more youth are identifying as not Christian in surveys. If we want to stop the flow, we need to first look honestly at our motive as churches and individuals. If we’re totally honest, we need to ask if it is for the numbers. Do we want to be able to say there are a majority percentage of Christians in the USA? If we’re totally honest would we say that many of our churches are fighting for bodies to fill seats and put money in offering plates? Are we embarrassed by our losses as parents and churches? Our youth are looking for authenticity, so let’s start by searching our hearts for our motives. If we are guilty of this, perhaps confessing will clear the way for bringing our youth back to the church.
I’ve written this blog from an optimistic perspective and the assumption that our motive is that we want to bring our youth back because we care about them as individuals. As church goers, if we want the youth to stop leaving the church, we need to determine what they mean by hypocrisy and find the solutions within our church body. I’ve used research, my own personal experience and that of others I have spoken with to make my top list of “hypocritical” acts. First, we say that the Bible is the word of God and that as Christians we are to read and do what it tells us to, but then we don’t do it. For example, we preach about going out into all the world and preaching the gospel and yet we don’t even share our faith at work or in our neighborhood. How many church going parents can name ten people they’ve shared their faith with in ten years? How many have shared with ten people in their lives? Many youth complain that their parents don’t live out their faith at home. We ignore instruction and gossip in our homes about church members. We complain about the pastor’s service, but never encourage. Churches don’t practice what they preach, corporately or individually.
Parents often stay at a church without fully understanding the doctrine or because they have always been there. The church I grew up was originally United Brethren and then became United Methodist. When the congregation outgrew the building, they joined with a low member United Church of Christ church. There was a vote for pastor and the Methodist pastor won; or he lost depending on your perspective. Many from the United Church of Christ congregation left, but some who stayed made it so difficult for him, he quit. Because they were United Church of Christ by name, a pastor was assigned from that denomination. This was a church with a huge identity crisis. Although many did not agree with the doctrine and the Bible was not preached in the church, it was ten years until they left the church. My father was a great example of a Bible believing man, but he stayed in a church that was not. This was a determiner in my decision to stop attending church. Youth want authenticity, so if you’re living it in your home then it needs to be reinforced in the church and vice versa.
Second, it’s not only the hypocrisy of the church and attendees, but also that the youth want to avoid being hypocrites themselves. Many have not embraced the Christian faith and believe that going to church makes them a hypocrite. We force our children to go to church because we go to church. My siblings and I were forced to go to church as kids and I forced my kids. This is a good thing, if your church reflects the truth of the word of God. Hebrews 10:24–25 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” While we cannot force them to accept our faith, we can do our best to live out our faith.
As Christians, in addition to continuing to meet together, we are, as Proverbs 22:6 says, to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” There are a lot of days between being a child and being old. The responsibility does not fall on the parent or the church when an adult child chooses not to attend church. This choice is between God and the individual.
So, we have done our best as parents, but our children still are leaving, what do we do? First, don’t panic! In their information guide on how to re-engage youth in the church, Power to Change Ministries recommends giving our youth permission to doubt [1, 47]. They may need the time away to find the truth. If they’re Christians, there is a good chance they will come back. Focus on the Family recently re-aired a program from 2017 with Glenn T. Stanton where he presented what he considered fallacies concerning youth leaving the faith and the church in droves. He admits that he has seen a trend in with youth leaving the mainline denominational churches. Also, when they are college age, they are leaving all churches. However, the majority return once they marry and start families. Solid Bible teaching churches are growing among youth adults. Youth raised in faith-based homes, even when the teaching is imperfect, are more likely to embrace their parent’s faith [4].
Second, be thankful! “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Phil 4:6). We can’t force them to continue to attend church. Why would we want to try? We don’t want our kids to be church goers who never become Christians. It is far better to have Christian kids who take a hiatus from church. Don’t only give them permission to doubt but go one step further and embrace it. Who hasn’t heard the story of a man or woman who attended church for 40 years, was a stalwart in their community and suddenly announced they had never been a Christian? Just as our youth want the church to be authentic, we want their faith to be authentic. When well-known author and evangelical pastor Josh Harris recently announced he was not a Christian anymore, many were shocked and are still confused [2]. Perhaps he never made his parent’s Christianity his own and this is an opportunity for him to step away and hear from God.
Finally, admit your hypocrisy! Point them in the direction of the only perfect being. Jesus Christ is authentic. He said he would die for our sins and he did. He said he would raise from the grave and he did. He told his disciples he was going to his heavenly father and he did. He says he will come back and take those who have trusted in him, with him. He has never lied to us before, so we can trust that he will do what he says he will do. Tell them not to miss out on the gift of salvation and the beauty of a relationship with Jesus Christ because of the acts of sinful, hypocritical people. Youth leaving the church is not something to ignore or be cavalier about, but we need to make bringing them to a saving grace in Jesus Christ the priority over just getting them to stay.
References:
[1] Hiemstra, Rick, et al. “Renegotiating Faith.” Power to Change Ministries, 2018, p2c.com/renegotiating-faith/.
[2] Lee, Morgan. “Responding to Josh Harris’s Announcement.” ChristianityToday.com, Christianity Today, 6 Aug. 2019, www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/july-web-only/leaving-faith-church-christianity-falling-away-josh-harris.html.
[3] NIV Thinline Reference Bible. Zondervan, 2011.
[4] Stanton, Glenn T. “Are Young People Leaving the Church in Droves?” Focus on the Family, 7 Aug. 2019, www.focusonthefamily.com/faith/are-young-people-leaving-the-church-in-droves/.
