What now?
When you finish college and don’t know what’s next
It is done. After 3 years of learning, long nights, tears, breakdowns, joy, and laughter, I handed in my last paper. I moved out of my apartment and back to my parents.
What’s next? I don’t know.
I am not like some of my fellow students. They know exactly which master’s program or job is next and are basically already there. My plans only include a two-week vacation with my parents, where we’ll do a lot of hiking, which I love. But besides that, I have no real idea how I will spend my summer let alone the rest of my life. And that scares me.
But also, it is kind of refreshing. I can’t remember the last time I was this bored. I wake up and there is literally nothing, that I have to do. I admit I waste a lot of time on social media, watching TV, cuddling my cat, and sleeping. I sleep a lot! But also I cook big meals for my family, I sit on our porch glancing at the garden, with nothing specific in sight. I started talking to myself. Not in a creepy way, but more in a fun and ironic one.
I guess, I simply allow myself to do what feels good in the moment. Without a to-do list in the back of my mind. During my studies, I didn’t take that time. I only focused on finishing them as fast as I could. And I also didn’t find anything I want to do with my degree. I loved university, because of the friends I made and the self-development, it put me through. But the topics I was confronted with, some really interesting, don’t appeal to me to follow them deeper. And also I realized some things.
I don’t want to step into the wheel. Working 40 hours for a job that is feeding our system of materialism and greed, is not for me. Being controlled by some boss or agenda. Meeting numbers or anyone’s expectations. I know I could do it (I do a great job if I want to), but I don’t see it anymore. My values do not align with the system we live in and I don’t want to contribute to a system, which makes people sick, stressed, depressed and lonely.
That’s why I am looking for alternatives now. And I will write about them.
