Chronic Illness
What they are and how to meet your match
Most people have a specific idea of what a chronic illness is, but there’s a lot more to it; people don’t know as much as they think they do. A chronic illness is an illness that lasts 3 months are more, and believe it or not 88 percent of Americans have a chronic illness. So if you’re reading this, chances are either you or someone you know has a chronic illness.
Some of the most common chronic illnesses are arthritis, cancer, cardio vascular disease and so on and so forth, but there are also some more unknown illnesses as well. The list never seems to end. I’m talking about it because it’s an issue that is very close to my heart. Not only do I, but many of the ones I love have a chronic illness. And while it can be hard to talk about and I’d rather just roll-up back in my bed, there are things I’ve learned, that others who are going through the same thing need to know too.
At the age of 14, I had my first kidney stone; 6 months later I had a second one. Within the next year I had another. For those who don’t know, a kidney stone is this tiny little stone (crystalline mineral) that forms inside the kidney and usually causes severe pain. It didn’t take me long to figure out that this wasn’t a one and done thing. Five years later and who knows how many I’ve had. You would think I’d get used to getting them and the pain that they cause.
In some ways I have, but every time I get another one it’s like starting from scratch all over again. I go through the same emotions every time. And yes it does get a little easier every time, but it’s still hard. The thing about chronic illnesses, though, is you have time, time to figure out yourself, to figure out how to handle it, and to figure out how to come out on top. Granted I’m still learning, but it’s a process, and though I don’t really have a choice in the matter, I make sure every choice I have is one that sets me forward, past this illness.
Like I said before, many people around me that I know suffer with chronic illnesses as well. Two people I know that are really close to me and struggle with a chronic illness are my brother and my boyfriend. My older brother, his whole life has been struggling with a list of symptoms that may be too long to actually list. No one ever knew why or that they were even connected. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school that things began to get serious. He was fainting, losing 15 pounds in just weeks, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t heal. Everything just seemed to be getting worse. After I don’t know how many tests and doctors appointments and let downs, it was finally discovered that he had EDS, a chronic illness that affects people in many different ways.
After years of not knowing, we finally knew and to be honest I don’t know if that helped, but it did give us an answer. That answer though, was one that meant that the road ahead wasn’t going to be easy and it meant that things were going to be tough. And it was and still is, but I’ve seen this illness take my brother through one loophole after the next and he’s still going. The illness has not overcome him and that’s something that I look to for guidance when I’m feeling weak. We aren’t alone in it.
My brother, though, never really talked about it, and I knew why because I was the same way when it came to people always asking me questions about what was going on with me. But the older he gets, the easier it is for him to look back on it. “Well I found out over time. First it was EE, but that didn’t explain some things. Then I was diagnosed with EDS and the picture finally came together.” Sometimes things don’t happen as quickly as you want them to, you’re left not knowing and that can be the worst part. But once you know it’s this back and forth feeling of well finally I know and now I’ll have to deal with the forever part. For most though it’s this little bit of a relief. “It’s more of a relief just knowing than anything. It’s hard to explain since there’s nothing I can do or take to make it better, but I felt better just not being in the dark.”
One of the hard parts of living with a chronic illness is we often feel like we’re constantly in the dark and it’s hard to get out of, especially when you feel alone in the situation. Going to college I was scared that no one would understand me or what I was going through. Then I met my boyfriend. Since the age of 6 or so my boyfriend has struggled with a disease known as POTs. He never knew his disease by name until he was about 14. Every day he went through it alone because no one believed him and his pains.
Now 20 years old, he still has to deal with everything, only he isn’t alone anymore. I didn’t know him back when he didn’t know what it was, but I can only imagine the difficulty. Even now I still see him struggle, but he refuses to let it get the best of him. He has managed his disease better than most and he has taught me many things that have helped me get through mine. Chronic illnesses aren’t easy. Always remember though, the disease is what you have not who you are.
Thinking about it now, I know a lot of people with chronic illnesses, and every one of them is different. People have different diseases, react differently to them, and have different circumstances around them. No one case is ever the same, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who wouldn’t understand you and what you’re going through. There are. You are never alone. And knowing you aren’t alone makes the burden a little lighter. Don’t let the disease take what’s not its to take.
