My vertebrae grinding together feels like I’m scraping my acrylic nails down concrete. I first discovered my pelvic tilt in high school when the pain in my lower back became so unbearable that I couldn’t stand up. Turns out, my right hip is almost ¼ inch higher than my left hip. After years of physical therapy and a stint in a back brace, I’ve come to accept living with chronic pain as my reality.
This misalignment affects my daily life in a handful of different ways. It means I wear a lift in my left shoe. It means that I can’t sit still in the same position for a long time and I’m annoyingly fidgety. It means I have to especially careful when exercising. This misalignment also means I have limited mobility in my hips, which can make actions such as lying on my side very painful. Straddling especially makes my bones screech. As you might imagine, this can kill my vibe when getting down and dirty.
You know what’s great for keeping the bump n’ grind going? Sexual mobility aids. Sexual mobility aids can be anything from an angled pillow to a chin strap harness to a finger vibrator. They help with ac”sex”ability.
Ac”sex”ability, to me, is a revisioning of how we interact with our bodies in a sexual context. It is destroying notions of how and where we have sex, with each other and with ourselves. It is accessible pleasure. This doesn’t just mean using an intense vibrator to help with increased sensation. This means a complete reimagining of how we can use our bodies to experience pleasure.
Here’s a list of ac”sex”ible sexual mobility aids and toys. I didn’t even know that these existed until I hit college, started working at the Stanford University Sexual Health Peer Resource Center, and got questions about masturbating with carpal tunnel (hello Silicon Valley). This is in no way meant to be comprehensive, but I hope it gives you a good jumping-off place.
Furniture:
IntimateRider — $365
The IntimateRider is a piece of sex furniture shaped like a chair and specifically designed for folks with spinal cord injuries and mobility limitations. A gentle back and forth motion of the torso is all that’s needed to start the thrusting motion. Low center of gravity makes transferring and positioning as comfortable as possible. The IntimateRider website has great instructional videos, as well as ability-specific intimacy tips.
Liberator Wedge — $90
Liberator is a sex toy company that offers a breadth of accessible sex furniture — excellent for wheelchairs users, amputees, and folks with limited mobility. The Wedge is a 27-degree angled pedestal pillow made to aid in positioning. It can be used anywhere you need to be lifted and supported. It’s great at prolonging oral sex if you experience neck pain. The pillow itself is made of high-density foam so it’s very supportive and comfortable. And guess what? The cover is removable and machine-washable, and the pillow liner is moisture-resistant.
Liberator Wanda Toy Mount — $76
The Wanda, also from Liberator, is a pillow mount specifically designed to hold the Hitachi magic Wand. It’s narrow enough to straddle, and you could pair it with your favorite dildo or vibrator or whatever you want.
Harnesses:
Accommodator — $30.95
The Accommodator is a strap-on dildo that is designed to go around the head with the dildo at the mouth. That being said, you could put it around whatever works best for you. It is made of laytex, so if you have laytex sensitivities be careful. The dildo itself is 5” with a diameter of 1.25”.
Malibu Thigh Harness — $44.95
This harness is made of durable, washable neoprene. It holds a dildo securely to a chair, a crutch, a limb, or whatever else you like. Easy to get on and off, it is fully adjustable and can fit anything from 12” to 35”.
Accessories:
Tantus Plunge Paddle — $30.23
The Plunge Paddle by Thwack is a silicone paddle, which means that it requires less body strength to create the same amount of pain. It’s much lighter than a wooden paddle and can also be good for folks who have dexterity pain. There’s a bulbous head at the end of the 6” handle that can be inserted. The company makes other designs out of the same silicone, such as the Pelt and the Thwack.
Liberator Doggy Rider — $19.95
The Doggy Rider by liberator is a soft, comfortable belt that holds you or your partner in place. The adjustable straps are great for folks who have limited strength and/or mobility, as well as folks with balance impairments, fatigue, and spasms.
Did I miss something in this list? Tweet me at @elisabeth_dee_ and let me know your recommendations! If you found this helpful, be sure to give it a “💚 “.
