Jun 22, 2021
How We Cope With Chronic Illness
3 reasons why life is easier after 10 years of sickness than after 2.
“Hope you get better soon.”
He was NEVER going to get better, that’s what the doctor told us. It had felt too hard for too long. We were hoping for some relief but the diagnosis made things feel worse. A chronic condition.
We kept wanting to return to normal life. Daily life was too hard since my husband’s sickness started.
It was hard to imagine what the future would be like if it was always going to be this debilitating.
Fast forward about a decade and we are happily enjoying our new normal. I’m using A Chronic Voice writing prompts to show you 3 reasons why life is manageable after years of living with Vestibular Migraine condition.
1. Accumulating wisdom and knowledge
We moved from Australia to Cambodia and he felt much better (not healed, just not as sick as before).
Previously elusive triggers became noticeable. We had tried to work out what caused attacks in Australia but he was too sick all the time to progress on that. But now we know if XYZ, then his symptoms will flare up. It makes a big difference. We can avoid some, and at least acknowledge others.
And the bad days/weeks are less stressful, as we know there are also good days/weeks. Once we even had a good year.
Awareness of how it impacts my mental health has also helped us. Even though “he doesn’t look sick” and “at least it isn’t cancer” it is traumatic for me.
These experiences give us a perspective that we didn’t have, couldn’t have had in those first two years.
2. Harmonizing our time
When I had free time, he had a deadline or dizzy attack. When he had free time I had to go out.
We kept missing each other the first 2 years of sickness, even though we lived together.
But now we live in the chaos and spontaneity of Asia. It feels like a detour around that stress.
Clocks, calendars, commitments. That is what we are used to but that lifestyle makes chronic illness life stressful.
We have more time together these days, even though there are 3 extra people in the house.
We don’t live with the cancellation stress either, which makes life more relaxed.
3. Prioritizing
It’s not new. Saying “no” to many good things to say “yes” to a few better things. Now it’s more about how much energy we have, not only about we use time.
Our work, Christian ministry and homeschooling, both have endless opportunities. We can’t do every good and exciting activity that comes our way. It is frustrating but now we know that’s what we need to do. Awareness of our energy limits is important.
Conclusion
Rewind 10 years. I could not imagine what life would be like if things were always going to be that debilitating.
A change of environment, and some time passing, meant that things are not as hard as that 100 percent of the time. Even though it is that hard for periods, but we have experienced easier times between.
And we have rearranged our lives to go with the flow of health, rather than trying to live as if it didn’t exist.
So although, yes, my husband is still sick and we won’t be going back to our old normal, which is frustrating, our new normal suits us.
Greeting him with “Hope you get better soon,” doesn’t fit so well and can even seem funny to us. Perhaps a wish for more good health days than bad health days is the way to go.
Thanks for reading, my other chronic illness stories are here:
Thanks to A Chronic Voice for a chance to reflect on chronic illness life. You can read the other link-ups here.
