So I was in the club hanging out with ze boys. Two tables away a gorgeous lady signals for me.

The universe freezes for a moment…. The left side of my brain goes into aggressive overdrive… Naweza kua niko na deni yake? Have they been sent by Mshwari? Is my outfit similar to the waiters? Do I have a unicorn horn slowly growing out of my forehead? Aki this is a prank… quickly looking around for those Naswa guys.

I walk over. She says hi and introduces herself & her girlfriend. Heavy Canadian accents. *Phew, haiwezi kuwa deni*. The right side, warm side of my brain kicks in. I flash a smile, stretch my hand and say hi and quickly note that they were having wine.

Then she goes “Kenyan men are such gentlemen…” Ai, I’ve been buttered before… Where’s this leading? She goes on. “Could you please pay for our drinks…?” WHAT?? The nerve. I politely said no. Then she snaps “I thought Kenyan men are kind”. “No we are not.” And walked back to my table…

And then they hepad with the bill… Haiya!

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