Magicians in the Mist: One Muggle’s Quest to Identify Wizards among Us
Are you a full grown adult still awaiting your Hogwarts letter? Of course not. Like me, you’re a Harry Potter expert, so you know that magical abilities almost always appear by the age of eleven. Those of us still harboring magical aspirations can hope to be squibs at best.
Still, just because we’re muggles doesn’t mean we can’t believe in magic. Wizards are masters of illusion, and they’re determined to evade detection. Both the Ministry of Magic (U.K.) and the Magical Congress (U.S.A.) have Departments of “Misinformation.” There, dedicated civil servants work hard at creating “muggle-worthy excuses” for magical occurrences.
A thinking muggle might even postulate that the absence of evidence for the existence of wizards is, in fact, the best evidence for the existence of wizards.
With that in mind, where should truth-seekers search for wizards hiding in-plain-sight?
Most wizards shun the muggle world. They tend to stand out, and they don’t like to travel by public transportation. So, it stands to reason that those few who dare (or must) work with us have to be up to something very important.
Like, Area 51 or Loch Ness Monster important.
Thus, I posit that the most likely career for the muggle-tasked wizard is politician. But, in a world full of elected officials, how can I find the needles in my particular haystack?
Cicero: The philosopher’s database
For my quest, I turned to Cicero. Known as “Democracy’s Database,” Cicero currently provides information for nearly 45,000 elected officials across 9 countries. With data that powerful, Cicero doesn’t need to use any witchcraft to conjure up the information you need.
My first hunch was to comb through the representatives of Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling for clues. Anyone can look up their elected officials or view their legislative districts with this tool powered by Cicero data. You need only enter your address to unlock the database’s chamber of secrets.
Accio Address
Unfortunately, a Whomping Willow blocked my path. We know that She-Who-Must-Be-Named lives in Killiechassie, an estate in Perth and Kinross, Scotland. The problem? Her manor lacks a physical address.
Members of our Data Analytics team are becoming experts in creative ways to geocode non-traditional addresses. We recently worked with the Forward Montana Foundation to help put Native-American voters on the map using data from Cadastral land surveys. But they have yet to determine how to magic an unlisted address out of thin air.
A wizard by any other name
Next, I decided to look up officials by last name in the Cicero database.
Wizarding names are quite distinct. Typical elements include Latin, Greek or Anglo-Saxon roots and references to nature. See: Rubeus Hagrid, Narcissa Malfoy, and Fleur Delacoeur. Compound words, such as Ravenclaw, Longbottom, and Shacklebolt are also common. To search for sorcerer surnames, I needed to unleash the full power of Cicero.
Once I had a preliminary list of possibilities, I used the robust data provided by Cicero to search for further clues. Using addresses, biographies, photographs, social media accounts, and other information provided by the database, I was able to weed out obvious muggles and narrow my list to only the likeliest of wizards.
Peering through the veil
And now, without further hocus pocus and in no particular order, here are the elected officials most likely to have that magical magnetism:
Colin Beatie, Member of the Scottish Parliament for Midlothian North and Musselburgh
MSP Beattie’s interests in nature and gardening reveal a true Hufflepuff. His dedication to botany and ecology remind us of Herbology teacher Pomona Sprout.
His garden is also home to a fox, who never appears in a photograph with the MSP. A possible animagus?
Likelihood of magical abilities: 8/10.
The Honorable Dorcey Applyrs, Council Member, Albany Common Council
Like Hermione Granger, Council Member Applyrs is a Type-A go-getter and champion of the underdog. Not only does she have a doctorate in Public Health, the legislator is a youth mentor named the 2017 Ambassador for Girls Inc.
Council Member Applyrs is also a new mother. But, like J.K. Rowling — who wrote the first of the Harry Potter novels while a single parent — she hasn’t let motherhood prevent her from accomplishing her goals.
Unlike the notoriously unfashionable Hermione, however, Council Member Applyrs is stylish enough to run her own lifestyle brand, InVision Her. Has haute couture finally hit Diagon Alley?
Most likely house: Ravenclaw
Tyson Runningwolf, Representative-District 16, Montana House of Representatives
With a name like Runningwolf, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this official is an animal lover who enjoys fishing and horseback riding. A member of the Blackfeet Tribe, Representative Runningwolf has a degree in forest resource management and reminds us more than a little of Hogwarts’ groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid.
Whether he’s working with Pearl Jam to preserve areas sacred to the Blackfeet or welcoming bison back to Montana lands, Representative Runningwolf is a true steward of nature. Like our favorite Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Representative Runningwolf is also willing to put his life on the line to preserve the natural world. He works as a Fire Management Officer and is often seen at sites of emergency.
Gryffindor-level: 100%
Joan B. Lovely, Senator-2nd Essex, Senate of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts
Let’s start here: she’s from Salem. And, like with others, Senator Lovely’s relationship with animals is the key to penetrating her charms. Her official biography briefly mentions 3 children, but she describes her pets (familiars?) in great detail. If this isn’t a sign that there’s some kind of abracadabra going on, I don’t know what is.
A visit to Senator Lovely’s website reveals even more fishy behavior:
Do you know any fish who can run a legislative office? Me neither. You know who would? Wizards, that’s who. Just in case you needed more evidence, check out this picture from October 31, 2018:
Most muggle-worthy excuse: The duck did it.
Fantastic officials and where to find them
Whether you’re wizard-hunting or looking to connect your community with their elected officials, let Cicero guide you through the process. Democracy’s Database is robust enough to serve even the most magical of needs. Check out our suite of tools to learn how Cicero can work for you.
