On loneliness

The beginning of my second week in Cambodia was especially lonely — I felt like I was out here on my own, even though I wasn’t. I have the most amazing co-workers who’ve done a lot to help us with anything we need and show us around the city. There are awesome co-fellows in Phnom Penh who I enjoy hanging out with and the kids are Liger are so kind and welcoming.
The ironic thing is that I felt most lonely in a moment when I felt immense joy. I had just read something on the Internet that really resonated with me, and I immediately wanted to share it with someone who would understand why I was so excited about it. Yet most of my friends were asleep half a world away, and they wouldn’t see my message until the next morning, by which time my excitement would’ve considerably worn off.
It was then that I realized the meaning of loneliness: it’s not about being physically alone or even not having any friends. It’s about not being able to share your joy or pain with someone who’ll understand the feeling in the moment you feel it most intensely.
I knew that I was not choosing a year of comfort when I decided to do this fellowship. I know that this year is an opportunity to meet lots of new people and to step out of the comfort zone of familiar relationships. I know there will be many ups and downs this year, and that I will learn as much from the lows as I will from the highs.

