I Finally Solved The Conundrum Plaguing The Eternals
A head-scratcher of a superhero movie if ever there was one
**Heavy spoilers and much nerdy talk ahead**
For days I wracked my brain trying to understand where The Eternals went wrong. True, it felt too slow, too long, too wooden and far, far too bloated — just look a the poster for confirmation of that — but none of these hit the nail on the head of exactly why the film didn’t work. And then, like a laser to the face from a god or a giant Alien appearing then disappearing in the sky, it struck me. The Eternals is some pretend pretentious high flying celestial bullshit…
The View From Above…
No, really! I’m fully aware this sounds reductive and pretentious in itself but this is what I’m led to conclude after such a distancing and disengaging experience. Up to now, every superhero offered by Marvel has been severely grounded in at least something: Even Thor and Guardians, the two foremost cosmic adventurers, are rooted by their sense of duty or love of family. Through this, they are at least relatable if not always likable. The Eternals, though, is a film that pulls in so many directions it completely neglects the ground which its heroes hover over; and if such irony is intended then it's hard to tell.
