FORGIVING…..
To forgive and forget…..
What is it to forgive?
People say forgive and forget…but forget what? Forget the wrong done to one or the lesson learnt from the hurt caused by them?
All this while, in all my years of growing I always kind of overlapped the two. I’d forgive not forget…by that I mean I would allow the said persons to hurt me again. Then somewhere in this journey called life I met a very patient and calm soul, she’d say “you are hurting still because you give the remote control in THAT person’s hand. Don’t do that”. But as my life lessons and conditioning goes I’d do just that! As a result get hurt by those very same persons again and again…..
So then what does one do? Maybe erect a wall around one’s self to protect against the hurt…. probably lock out the people who hurt us… stay away from such people. Are these fool proof solutions ? Or are they just an easier way out?
Forgiving is to cease to have resentment towards an offender according to dictionary but it doesn’t say one has to allow the offender to repeatedly hurt us.
So not only is it ‘healthy’ to forgive and forget but it’s as necessary to ensure the act isn’t repeated on ourselves. To learn to get tougher, to look after one’s own self by protecting oneself from further hurt is what’s more important.
So when we forgive someone we also need to make sure we don’t forget the hurt. Just like a unhealthy part is disposed off negative relationships ought to be kept at an arm’s length (or more).
