Do women make themselves ‘unemployable’?

This is a really tough article for me as, I, for one am an advocate of progressing women — facilitating their growth in whatever way I can. Thats the exact reason why my organisation today has a 60:40 female:male ratio.

I am also witness to the interviews almost on a daily basis and have come to a conclusion along with my other 3 partners (2 of which happen to be men) that women , in general, are more confident and employable than their male peers. (that probably explains the ratio)

According to the World Economic Forum’s (WEF) Global Gender Gap Report 2014, Indian women spent an average of 352 minutes per day on unpaid work (men spent 52). We can safely assume that this unpaid work equates to the amount of household work they are required to undertake as additional responsibility. In order to juggle between the work and family responsibilities somewhere the work gets de-prioritised. As a result we encounter statements like…

“My ‘XYZ’ is unwell…mom’s/ dad’s/ brother’s etc…can’t take a holiday so I need leave”

“My mother-in-law is not allowing me to….”

“Can I come in late as I have to cook and come…”

“I can’t travel as my parent will not allow me to…”

“I can’t travel because my relationship with my husband and his family will get strained…”

“I need a 6 month break as I want to get married…”

…and the list goes on and on and this is not limited to only our workplace this runs across offices as it comes up in various conversations with other entrepreneur friends of mine too.

My problem is not with the ones in which the choice is yours and it makes you happy. By all means, employers should facilitate things what makes you happy. The problem I have is with the ones in which the family supersedes and overrides your expectations at work and you in turn need to take a step back. The gaps created for these roles are then, by default, assigned to men even though you might be more deserving in that scenario.

On one hand we want to create a platform and opportunities for women to excel in their professional life but are let down due to societal pressures on women. One part of me wants employers to understand their situation and be sympathetic toward them and the other wishes for them to have a more professional backbone to be able to stand-up and do the right thing for their careers. This, by no means is a way of saying neglect your family. I have a 10 year old and I think I am doing a good job bringing him up alongside my professional demands. I am there when he needs me but making sure that my job responsibilities are not compromised.

The difference is between ‘I just want to be in a job’ — to ‘I want to excel in my job’. Most of the time we settle ‘to be just in a job’,against our will to maintain our relationship ties.

I wonder, does this not leave an unsatisfied feeling of under-achieving. A feeling that, why is my progress so unimportant for my family? A feeling that why my relationship with in-laws and husband so brittle that it will be ‘on-line’ if I have to go out of my way to fulfil some job responsibility?

Question to the society in general is

Why is a man’s job any more important than a woman’s?

Why is it that women need to take a back foot always?

Why can’t women go out and out to excel and out-perform themselves and achieve what they rightly deserve?

When I float this question the reaction I invariably get is …”its different for you. You have a very supportive husband”

Sure I do have a very supportive husband but I beg to differ that it came on a platter for me. I amhere only because I truly believed and respected my work as much as my husband’s and I stood up for what was right and I deserved. Because I decided to lead my life on my terms and conditions. I know, balancing work and family life is not always easy but it only requires team work from the all the family members and mutual respect for each others work and aspirations.

Being on the other side of the table, I know, you will think its easier for me to say this, but this is an honest appeal to all the working women out there… Please stand up for yourself and speak out for what is right. Giving into situations is the easiest thing that can be done but you will shine only when you have the courage and strength to face the situations and upgrade your family to think with the current times and not pull you back to the 19th century. Then is when we will be able to get the gender equality we have been dreaming of.

Signing off on a thought that if these reasons and excuses are so prevalent in the society, no one will be able to stop the thought process of the employers to hire more and more men than women. If women keep hitting the invisible barriers created by themselves and not learn how to smash through that glass ceiling.

In an ideal world, I would want every woman to succeed in a way that no one has ever thought or believed they would:)

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Originally published at priyankaagrawal.wordpress.com on December 11, 2015.