He did Not Leave me But He Left! It hurts, it ill hurt, and will never stop hurting!!

Yes! it hurts to know the person you wanna hold on to is going to slip off your hands. Yes! it is true that you wouldn’t be whole again. Yes! Your heart will be dead, and Yes! you wouldn’t feel the love again. I met a guy in the shadow of desires. It was just in that moment when I realized he is “the one”. I know, some of you must think, it just cannot happen. But with me it did. The moment I allowed him in my life was the instant I gave myself away, and now he is leaving and I have no way to hold him and convince him to stay.

It hurts! indeed it does. It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t mine either, then the question remains Why me? Why this has to happen to me? Where did I go wrong?

In the drape of the moments I lived with him lies the lifetime of sorrow, I knew this then, why couldn’t I stop myself? What was going on, what is going on? Why this is happening? Why he has to be away? Why I wasn’t good enough?

My mind is tired of asking questions and I am tired of making my heart believe that its okay! It is not going to be okay, it is never going to be the same. Will I be Happy? Maybe or Maybe not.

I wondered and will wonder this always that why did he not choose me? Why cannot he accept my love and why he was not into me? These are all the questions that will haunt me for lifetime. I am not sorry I met him, I won’t erase any moment I lived with him, but these memories will kill me everyday, these moments will never be lived again and he wouldn’t be mine anymore.

I wish I could change this, but I can’t.. I have to change, I have to move on. I have to get a hold on my heart that actually is not with me anymore. I have to let him go although I am not in me anymore. I have to go beyond my dreams and I have to live in reality.

The greed of me to be with him and the craving for his attention will no longer be mine, I know he is slipping away and still I wanna hold him tight. Am I a fool? I ask this to myself everyday and yet have no answers to figure this out.

P.S I Love You & will always do! But life is going to be difficult without you!