Meeting new people can be a very exciting experience, which transforms your life and expands your horizons. However, a lot of people find it quite hard and struggle when meeting new people for a variety of reasons. We decided to go out in the street and talk to some people about their fears and worries and find out what they hate about meeting new people so that we can find out new ways to improve citysocializer and make sure everyone has a pleasant experience meeting people and making new friends.
As expected, negative behaviours like rudeness was something everyone agreed they hate when meeting new people. This included not only someone being rude to them but also to other people around them. Being a kind person definitely earns you more friends. Greed was also something most people hated, along with being selfish, as they wanted to be able to share things with their friends and have their friends reciprocate this. Clingy people who do not understand boundaries also appear to be something that most people hate when they meet new friends, as it takes time to get to know someone and trust them. A friendship is something you build slowly and like any other relationship between people, you need to find what works for you and respect the other one’s wishes.
The main problem that came up as what makes the majority hate meeting new people is shyness. People find it hard to approach someone new and say hi or start a conversation, even though they all said they would like to. Most attributed that fear to being shy and unsure of how the other person is going to respond to something like that.
Feeling awkward about approaching someone new was also a common response, some people even felt that talking to us was a bit awkward, because we came up to them in public without knowing each other previously. At the same time, the people who said they find it too awkward to go up to new people and start a conversation admitted that they have not met anyone new for a while and our conversation made them realise how long it had been since they made a new friend.
Being afraid of how the conversation will turn out makes a lot of people reluctant to try and chat with new people which results in them missing out on lots of new friendship opportunities. We were happy to hear though that even the people who would hesitate going up to a new person to make friends would be happy to have someone come up to them and start a conversation, as they had not considered that others might be equally intimidated by them.
Everyone we spoke with said that if you are friendly and honest you can make friends with everyone and all you need to do is be yourself, because people will pick up on that and reciprocate. Since honesty seemed to be very important for everyone, it was not surprise that fakeness was a big issue people hate about meeting new people. Showing off and pretending to be someone you are not to impress others is something that you absolutely should not do when trying to make friends. People around you can recognise when someone is a not being honest or has a hidden agenda and that is extremely off putting for new people.
Something that a lot people acknowledged as an issue when meeting new friends is that creating a friendship takes a lot of time and effort. Getting to know someone new, spending time together and making sure you fit them in your schedule is a big commitment for a lot of people. The busier someone is, the harder it becomes finding spare time for new people, on top of the time they are already spending with their current friends. As a result, a few of the people we spoke to, who already have a few good friends, might hesitate more to go out and meet new friends, in case their effort proves futile and they waste their time. However, even they admitted that they would always be happy to have more friends, because they realise the value of having lots of friends in their life.
This was something that we here on citysocializer fully sympathise with and part of we wanted to achieve was make sure our members have things to do every day of the week, so that they can adjust their social life to their schedule. Being able to create and book on socials on any day helps people break free from the usual Friday or Saturday nights out, which a lot of people might be unable to do due to work or other responsibilities. If you find that Monday or Tuesday are days when you have more time to go out with friends, there is no reason why you should not do just that. Meeting new friends is great but it gets even better when you can do it on your terms.
In any case, something we were very happy to hear from most people is that once you get past the initial hello and you start a conversation then all you have to do is be friendly and respectful and you will end up making lots of new friends, so even the small things people hate about meeting new people are not enough to deter them from trying in the end. The benefits of new friendship by far outweigh any negative feeling at the beginning and the happiness everyone feels when they are around friends is worth feeling a little awkward for a few minutes at the start.
If you feel like going out and meeting some new friends why not check out what socials are happening in your area and if you feel brave enough just message someone new and say hi. You have nothing to lose and lots of new friends to gain.