A Mother’s Confidence
By Jose Prado
1 Unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain. 2 In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food — yes; He gives sleep to the one He loves. Psalm 127:1–2
Most people look at my wife Kristine and think she’s crazy. Something is wrong with this woman. Did she have nothing better to do than to give birth to four kids? She’s good looking, seems pretty smart, young and energetic, what a waste? That is the way our society views motherhood now a days. My wife and I often laugh at the stares we get when we go places with our kids. People sometimes seem as if they are trying to make us feel guilty that we have multiple children. Now I wish their stares and their degrading comments had no effects on mothers, but we all know mothers who are deeply affected by our culture’s view on motherhood.
Every mother has the temptation to think that they can’t do it. At times and in seasons she will feel like she is lacking something in order to get the job done. Many ladies feel a lack of confidence in their role of Motherhood. I often hear the discouragement of motherhood from ladies and I have had many conversations with my own wife about it. Early on in our marriage my tendency was to try to encourage my wife and build her confidence in herself.
I would often just tell her, “honey you’re doing great. You’re crushing this, you can do this.”Isn’t this the right thing to do? If a mother lacks confidence in Motherhood, shouldn’t we just encourage her to have confidence in herself? That’s what most of us would do right? But that is not what God does. So what is a mother’s confidence?
The Source of Confidence
King Solomon the author of this Psalm begins the Psalm with a broad foundational principle. In a few words, Solomon is saying that anything we do is worthless unless the Lord is in it. Twice he repeats the phrase “Unless the Lord” and three times he hammers us with the word “vain”. I think that this is very applicable to motherhood because the one thing that I believe all mothers are tempted to question is their ability to be a mother. If we’re all honest and we were to ask moms, especially moms with younger children, how confident they feel in their ability to raise their children, their confidence level is not very high.
Moms, God wants you to be encouraged and to remind you that the one who is building your homes, the one who is guarding and protecting your children is “The One” who is able to do far more abundantly than you. We all have a sinful propensity to see our efforts and ourselves as primary and to relegate God to a secondary role in what we do. But these verses remind moms that you can work hard at building your family. You can be diligent to guard your kids from harm. You can make sacrifices to provide what they need. But if God’s blessing is not upon your home, you’re wasting your time. Ladies, your confidence is not in your ability to be the best mother you can be but in the grace of God on your behalf and that of your family.
The answer to those times of discouragement in your mothering is not to build up your own confidence in yourself but the answer moms, is to look to the grace of God and to be reminded that even if you could build the house on your own and even if you could watch over and protect your children on your own it would all be in vain. What makes our everyday effort worth anything is the grace of God in the life of our families. Now I know that we fight this. We don’t like to feel like we’re not in control of our children’s future and success, but the reality is that when we take it upon ourselves to believe that only if I do more of this or more of that, then my children will turn out this way or that way. What we are saying is that we are God.
Moms when you become God in your own mind in the lives of your children you have placed a weight upon yourself that you cannot bear. Furthermore, you have placed a weight upon your kids that they can’t bear. All of the sudden your children’s behavior and the outcome of their lives become what gives your life meaning and purpose. Ultimately, that weight will crush your children. Mothers, the Lord wants you to be confident in Motherhood but He desires that confidence to be His grace and not your ability.
God wants you to be freed from a burden He has not called you to carry. He wants you to be free from the guilt that comes from trusting yourself and the anxiety that will fill your heart if all you see is your laboring and not God’s blessing. Now here is what God is not saying to you ladies: He is not advocating that the builders stop building, the watchmen stop watching, and the workers stop working. Mothers build, Mothers watch, and Mothers work, and in their labors they trust that God is at work through them and that ultimately God’s blessing is what they trust and what they seek.
Kristine does a wonderful job with our four children but there are things in our children’s hearts that no matter how much she toils, how much she instructs, how much she disciplines and models for them, only the grace of God can deal with our children’s hearts and ultimately with the outcome of their lives. So our hope and confidence is not in how great a mother Kristine can be but, in how great a God we have. He has given us Christ. He has taken wicked sinners like us and in Christ he has redeemed us and is sanctifying us. The One who works all things for the good of His children is The One we will trust and place our confidence in.
The Promised Rest
Moms, here is a promise for you in these verses. If you place your confidence in the Lord He will give you rest. “2 …He gives sleep to the one He loves”. God is saying to you Moms, don’t place your confidence in yourself and fill your hearts with anxiety but place your confidence in me and I will give you rest.
