LIBERAL LOOS
“They’re Teaching CRT In Porta-Potties!”
Whined Tucker Carlson, “Even portable privies are woke!”
Right-wing extremists have picked a new fight in the culture war. Critical Race Theory¹ — described by far-right influencer Liz Wheeler as a “failed Marxist ideology” which seeks to “abolish the nuclear family, capitalism, free speech, and religious freedom”² — isn’t only being taught in public schools. It’s also being taught in porta-potties! “It sounds kooky,” conceded Tucker Carlson. “But it’s more plausible than most conspiracy theories I’ve promoted. Sure, I’d prefer something freakier. Like when I promoted a ‘bromeotherapy where guys tan their nads to increase their testosterone levels.³ But this’ll do.”
The culture warriors were desperate to hype this hoax, and for good reason: they lost the November elections.
Yes, that’s counterintuitive. During the run-up to the elections, culture warriors concocted, spread, and amplified conspiracy theories which were bound to provoke conservative voters. Ones regarding gay rights, gun rights, civil rights, affirmative action, abortion, feminism, religion, public education, censorship, and climate change. The warriors were a mix of social media activists, ranters, trolls, pseudo-journalists, influencers, and podcast hosts.⁴ But their goal was the same: “Win the culture, win the country.”⁵
Thanks to their efforts, Trump and the Republicans were victorious. Starting in January, they’ll own all three branches of the federal government. The culture warriors won.
In fact, they lost. Conservatives assume Trump and the right-wing majorities in Congress and on the Supreme Court will prevail in the culture wars. They’ll put the Ten Commandments in schools. Pull Black history and LGBTQ books out of libraries. Keep transgender women out of ladies locker rooms and restrooms. Eliminate DEI programs which discriminate against white males. And free people from the tyranny of polio, smallpox, whooping cough, meningitis, and measles vaccine mandates.
Unfortunately, conservatives feel less need to follow right-wing content on social media. Conservative PACS, lobbies and think tanks are spending less to sponsor far-right podcasts and web sites. Cash flows for culture warriors are drying up. They needed fresh red meat to throw to the MAGA masses.
Then a rumor bubbled up on social media that Critical Race Theory was being taught in porta-potties. It originated in Traverse City,⁶ a town of ~15,000 in Michigan’s Up North, at a Thanksgiving Day fun-run called the Turkey Trot.⁷ Porta-potties had been situated at the Civic Center for trotters and onlookers.
A woman overheard a porta-potty occupant discussing Critical Race Theory. She was incensed that a “radical left lunatic” was using a porta-potty to, in the words of her hero, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, push “a pernicious ideology” which makes white children “feel guilt and anguish because of actions committed [by white people] in the past.”⁸
The indignant busybody posted her interpretation of what happened on a Facebook page called “Overheard in Traverse City.”⁹ Hundreds of right-wingers saw it and reposted it. Thousands saw those reposts and followed suit, followed by tens of thousands more. The conspiracy theory spread across Facebook like slops from an overflowing toilet. It leapt like fleas onto TikTok and Telegram. Then it spread like a sexually transmitted disease across the far-right platforms Gab, Gettr, Parler, Rumble, Truth Social, and X.
Time out for a reality check.
- CRT is nothing more than an academic field which posits “that racism [isn’t just] individual bias or prejudice, but is also embedded in legal systems and policies. [An] example is when, in the 1930s, government officials drew lines around areas deemed poor financial risks due to the racial composition of inhabitants. Banks subsequently refused to offer mortgages to Black people in those areas.”¹
- The porta-potty occupant wasn’t teaching Critical Race Theory to anyone. They were discussing “critical 5k race theory” with someone on their iPhone.
As the conspiracy theory spread, it morphed like the messages in the Telephone Game.¹⁰ That’s the children’s activity in which one kid whispers something to another kid, who whispers it to another, and so on and so forth. Each time a child passes the message, they’re apt to misstate it, leave out an element, or embellish it. The original message becomes entirely different by the end.
Likewise, the porta-potty theory evolved with each reposting. Most people altered it to promote their pet peeve. Republican politicians did something else: they folded, spindled, and mutilated the theory to further their brands.
Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton used the conspiracy theory to plug his “Stop CRT Act.”¹¹ The bill denies “Federal funds to a school that promotes race-based theories.” Cotton intended to leverage it to gain a leadership role when the Republicans take control of the Senate next year. Unfortunately, the bill was referred to the Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions — the Senate graveyard for publicity stunts. In an attempt to resurrect it, Senator Cotton reposted the porta-potty story, adding “I’ll amend my bill to deny Federal funding to any porta-potty which is used to teach Critical Race Theory.”
Texas Representative Tony Gonzales used the porta-potty theory to play up his war on drag queens. He’d already introduced a bill “to prohibit the use of Federal funds to support drag theater performances.”¹² When Gonzales saw the porta-potty tweet, he boosted it, and added a promise to “deny Federal funding to any drag queen who uses a porta-potty to teach Critical Race Theory.”
When Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Green reposted the conspiracy theory, she dispensed with the reference to CRT. Instead, she used it to promote one of her favorite QAnon¹³ conspiracy theories. “Here’s the latest plot by Democrats to tap kids to get their adrenochrome,”¹⁴ she wrote, “so they can inject it into themselves to stay young. Only this time, they don’t kidnap children to extract it from their blood.¹⁵ They suction the poop out of porta-potties, then distill the kids’ crap to get their adrenochrome!”
- Time for another reality check. Adrenochrome is oxidized adrenaline. It’s a waste product, created when humans eliminate unneeded adrenaline. And it’s of no practical use.
Ohio Senator and Vice President-elect J. D. Vance recycled one of his favorite lies when he reposted the conspiracy tweet. He condemned the use of porta-potties to teach Critical Race Theory. But he accused childless cat ladies¹⁶ of doing the teaching.
South Carolina Representative Nancy Mace used the porta-potty theory to attack her scapegoat du jour: transgender women. She’d just introduced a resolution to prohibit “Members, officers, and employees of the House from using single-sex facilities other than those corresponding to their biological sex.”¹⁷ Mace did it to head off a restroom crisis. An openly transgender woman had been elected to Congress.¹⁸ Next month she’ll take her seat in the House — and in the House women’s rooms. “Biological men do not belong in private women’s spaces,”¹⁹ said Mace. “That not only goes for restrooms. It goes for porta-potties, too!”
Apparently, Mace thinks there are different tinkle boxes for hes and shes.
Like Nancy Mace, Donald Trump seized the porta-potty theory to score political points with his followers. And for the same reason. The transgender community is small, politically powerless, widely misunderstood, and apt to be viewed with suspicion. That gave Trump an opportunity to engage in his favorite sport: punching down.
Trump recycled a lie he’d used while campaigning for president: Public schools were surgically changing children’s genders without the knowledge and consent of their parents.
“Think of it,” Trump posted on Truth Social.²⁰ “Your kid goes into a porta-potty and comes out with an operation. Can you imagine you’re a parent and you say, ‘Jimmy, I love you so much. Now go make water or boom-boom in that sh*tshack over there.’ Then your son comes out with a brutal operation! What the hell is wrong with our country?”²¹
The porta-potty conspiracy theory continues to evolve as it spreads across right-wing social media. That said, the original and later versions have three things in common.
- Every version relates to porta-potties.
- None of them bear a resemblance to the truth.
- Like porta-potties, culture warriors who spread them are full of crap.
[1]: “What Is Critical Race Theory, and Why Is It Under Attack?”, EducationWeek, https://www.edweek.org/leadership/what-is-critical-race-theory-and-why-is-it-under-attack/2021/05
[2]: “Critical Race Theory is Repackaged Marxism”, Newsweek, https://www.newsweek.com/critical-race-theory-repackaged-marxism-opinion-1599557
[3]: “Tucker Carlson’s answer to masculinity’s supposed crisis? Testicle tanning”, The Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/apr/18/tucker-carlson-masculinity-crisis-testicle-tanning
[4]: “The 12 Social Media Personality Types”, Digital Tourism Think Tank, https://www.thinkdigital.travel/opinion/the-12-social-media-personality-types
[5]: “Republicans Built an Ecosystem of Influencers. Some Democrats Want One, Too”, The New York Times, https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/28/us/politics/democratic-influencers.html
[6]: Traverse City, Michigan, United States Census Bureau, https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/traversecitycitymichigan/PST045223
[7]: 5k Run/Walk, Run Signup, Up North Media Traverse City Turkey Trot”, https://runsignup.com/Race/Events/MI/TraverseCity/TraverseCityTurkeyTrot#event-883373
[8]: “Florida’s governor signs controversial bill banning critical race theory in schools”, WPTV West Palm Beach, https://www.wptv.com/news/education/floridas-governor-to-sign-critical-race-theory-education-bill-into-law
[9]: Overheard in Traverse City, Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/groups/overheardintraversecity/
[10]: Telephone Game, Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_game
[11]: “Stop CRT Act”, U. S. Senate bill 2346, Congress.gov, https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/senate-bill/2346/text
[12]: “H.R.5981 — To prohibit the use of Federal funds to be used to support drag theater performances.”, Congress.gov, https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/house-bill/5981
[13]: QAnon, Anti-Defamation League, https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounder/qanon
[14]: Adrenochrome, American Chemical Society, https://www.acs.org/molecule-of-the-week/archive/a/adrenochrome.html
[15]: “GOP candidate Marjorie Taylor Greene spread conspiracies about Charlottesville and Pizzagate,” CNN, https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/25/politics/kfile-marjorie-greene-spread-conspiracies/index.html
[16]: “A Guide to J.D. Vance’s Most Unhinged Public Statements”, The Cut, https://www.thecut.com/article/jd-vance-controversy-weird-quotes.html
[17]: House Resolution 1579, “Prohibiting Members, officers, and employees of the House from using single-sex facilities other than those corresponding to their biological sex,” Congress.gov, https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/house-resolution/1579/text
[18]: “Sarah McBride becomes the first out transgender person elected to Congress”, NBC News, https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/sarah-mcbride-first-transgender-congress-delaware-rcna177878
[19]: “Biological men do not belong in private women’s spaces”, Nancy Mace account on X, https://x.com/RepNancyMace/status/1858659671910817924
[20]: “What to know about Truth Social, Trump’s social media platform”, PBS News, https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/what-to-know-about-truth-social-trumps-social-media-platform
[21]: “Why Trump is spreading the lie that schools are performing gender-affirming surgeries on children”, 19th News, https://19thnews.org/2024/09/trump-gender-affirming-care-abortion-claims/