DREAM, DREAM, DREAM
Ya Gotta Go, Joe
And The Don should, too
Lying awake, I stared at the ceiling. The race for the presidency had polluted my thoughts, and would not let me drift off to slumberland.
Thoughts raced round and round. Joe and Don. Don and Joe. Oh, no, Joe! Get off the lawn, Don. Whaddaya know, Joe? Don is Genghis Kahn? JOE, DON, JOE, DON, Joe, Don, Joe, Don, joe, don, joe, don…………………
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz……..
Here’s what we’ll do!
We’ll build statues honoring our two most recent presidents. Big, towering statues. We’ll put them on the mall in D. C. Move over, MLK.
There will be large bronze plaques at the base of each telling all manner of stories about how great they were. Fabrications will inform the public how they made life hunky-dory in America. Future historians will point to this moment as the beginning of the groundswell for an AI presidency.
We’ll also hold a huge celebration in their honor. We’ll let them know how much we love them and appreciate all they have done for us.
And after making a deal with the Brits, immediately after the ceremonial pomp has ended, we’ll send both men off to St. Helena, never to return. We’ll keep the statues to remember how “wonderful” they were.
There they can argue over their handicaps on the island’s 9-hole golf course. No carts allowed. Nine should be enough for both of them since walking 18 is too much for such old people.
Once rid of the two candidates far beyond their “use by” dates, all those “Fuck Biden” flags can come down and be burned and we can get on with working towards a more perfect union.
Rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg!
Damnable alarm clock. And I was having such a nice dream. I’ll punch the snooze button as reality intrudes.
So Joe, writing off your debate performance as “a bad day” is just not good enough. We’ve lost confidence in you. Sure, you reached a bipartisan deal on the border that your opponent nixed so he could use it as a campaign issue, but it really seems like there were executive orders that could have stemmed the tide much earlier. A tacit approval of actions in Palestine…?
Thanks for all you’ve done in a miserable environment, but your stubbornness and slow reactions to evolving crises just don’t cut it.
Ya gotta go, Joe. Release your delegates and let us have the most entertaining political convention in our lifetimes. Perhaps ever. Ahh yes, fond (?) memories of 1968 come washing back to those of us almost as old as you, Joe. Those were the days, eh? Too bad Chicago Mayor Daley’s strongarm tactics backfired on the Democrats.
Hmmm… Now where is the 2024 Democratic National Convention? Why it’s none other than Sweet Home Chicago! Are you Democrats tempting fate?
And Don, you’re no better on the age and mental acuity scale. You have an easier time speaking because you only have to remember a few central lies and riff on them. Your small brain is not jammed with facts and numbers that would only confuse you. Your “Unity” Kumbaya RNC verified that you’re all-in for business as usual.
Answer this, Don. If Joe Biden survived an assassination attempt, would that make him any more qualified to continue being president? Should the guy you say is too old and sleepy suddenly be perceived as younger and more alert because of sympathy?
And as for the “Hand of God” sparing you from the would-be assassin’s bullet, do you honestly think that the Big Guy, possibly even bigger than you, nudged that projectile just enough so that it only nicked your ear and went on to end the life of the firefighter father protecting his wife and daughter?
Don’t answer that. Your narcissistic answer is obvious.
Rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg!
Damnable alarm clock AGAIN! The second dream was not nearly as nice, but at least it was a dream.
Back to reality.
Should I get up and devise my contingency plan for the fascist takeover of America? Or will I rest easy when democracy prevails against the odds?
On accepting the inevitable:
On handicaps:
