What matters the most is you.

Being present will help you find your way back to positive.

I’ve been teaching third grade at Oak Grove Elementary in Medford, Oregon for 15 years. You might think based on my resume that I am set in my ways, a creature of habit or afraid of change, but you’d be wrong. Classroom teaching keeps me on my toes and allows me to be surprised at the wonder and opportunity of each new day while on paper doing “the same thing” year after year. (I could write a book of stories about all the “surprises” that I’ve encountered over the years, some of them would make you laugh, others would make you cry, and some you’d not even believe!)

One thing that keeps me going day after day, year after year, is my positive and optimistic outlook. I have this strange ability to keep calm amidst chaos and often spread that sense of calm to others. I practice kindness and gratitude and I always look for those silver linings in difficult times. (Maybe you read my previous blog post about embracing the role of teacher in a COVID-era classroom with a can-do mindset?)

But here’s the thing … I also like to keep it real. Fake or toxic positivity isn’t my jam. I don’t believe in using sunshine and rainbows like smoke and mirrors to disguise true emotions or hard truths — and teaching in the time of COVID is definitely one of the hardest, most “surprising” and emotional chapters of my teaching career, especially starting this new school year completely online.

So, lately when someone asks me how things are going, they might get more of a real answer than they wanted to hear. I’m not going to apologize for telling it like it is anymore. Emotions should be shared, talked about and normalized. It’s unrealistic to always be happy and somewhat of a disservice to tell someone to just “be positive” without acknowledging true emotions. I’d rather be real than pretend to be perfect.

My current reality has me feeling some big emotions …

Completely overwhelmed, lost, anxious, and disappointed to name a few. I knew the start of this school year was going to be tough. I knew it would get worse before it got better. I even sent out a rally cry to teachers saying “This is our moment!” and gave myself a big ole pep-talk! Then reality set in as we started up the school year … and my positive outlook started to fade as I faced challenging tasks that gave me an impending sense of despair. These are not typical feelings for me. But, since I usually frame my complaints more as questions or problems to be solved, I’ve been thinking a lot about these emotions.

So, why am I feeling this way?

I could go into details about my specific circumstances that are causing me to have these big emotions, but essentially it boils down to this — what I had imagined and hoped for is not the direction things are going as we start the school year. There is an immense amount of new learning that is piling up on my plate with no time or training to learn it. I’m having to build the plane as I fly it — as are most of you teachers out there! Here are a few examples of my uneasiness:

While I usually feel excited about learning new things, I currently feel paralyzed, frustrated and anxious. The things I want to learn are not the things I need to learn to fulfill my work responsibilities right now.

While I usually feel eager to help others learn, I currently feel helpless and even almost stupid, because I can’t wrap my brain around it all and I’m not able to help people that can usually count on me.

While I usually don’t make a habit of comparing myself to others, I can’t help but notice other teachers going above and beyond to make things “amazing” for students while I am losing steam and feeling ineffective.

So what am I doing about it?

Well, I’m not throwing myself a pity party, because thankfully, I do realize that I’m not alone. Whatever emotions you may be feeling are valid and you are not alone, either! I’m allowing myself time and space to feel an emotion, and share my feelings with others without becoming the emotion. I am actively seeking out opportunities to feel grounded or centered despite my big emotions. Sometimes all I need is to take a deep breath; sometimes I need to unplug or walk away from a task or a situation — reset and come back to it later. Often, just being present in the moment, especially with my own kids or students, brings me back to having hope for the future. I recently re-posted a quote on Facebook because it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment and I knew it would resonate with others.

This post reminded me that it’s okay to not be okay, especially when living in the midst of a global pandemic, social and political unrest, and natural disasters unfolding across the United States. In these times and all the time, being present and purposeful in the moment is more important than being positive all the time.

It may seem like the opposite of positive is negative, and negativity breeds negativity. The truth is being real and feeling and showing emotions isn’t negative, it’s human nature. Managing those emotions is healthy. Being present in the moment is enough.

So rather than spreading false hope and empty promises, let’s be real. Working through difficult, even unwanted emotions can help us in the long run more so than bottling up and ignoring our true feelings.

So instead of staying frozen in indecision, I will show up. Rather than drowning in that helplessness or measuring my success compared to someone else’s, I will work toward making progress one step at a time. When I feel lost, I will look within for my center and begin again with purpose. What matters the most is me.

There are inspirational quotes aplenty and scores of sound advice out there about being brave, strong, persistent, calm, positive, or [insert your word of choice here]. These can be exactly what we need in the moment, they can help us set a goal or just an intention for our day. But also, they might overwhelm us. When we are overcome with emotions, sometimes we need to just be.

What matters is the most is you.

You are a unique individual and no one is exactly like you. You have a sparkle that is all your own. And the world needs that sparkle. Maybe “the world” is your pet, your family or your career — maybe it’s those beautiful students that show up for you each day. It doesn’t matter what the teacher next door or the teacher on TikTok is doing for their students, your students have you. Let your light shine through and just be you. And when your emotions are bubbling up or swirling around, take a moment to just be.

Consider reading Ashley’s popular article, Teachers, This is Our Moment!

Ashley Anderson is a third grade teacher who is active in the Classroom Champions community as a Teacher Ambassador. She is very excited that the Classroom Champions SEL Foundations curriculum has developed an entire unit on Emotions, which helps students (& teachers) acknowledge, validate, understand and manage their emotions so that they can be successful in school and in life!