Ten Ways To Be Your True Self

‘you have to get lost to find your true self’

Knowing your true self is essential. It is one of the greatest and most important life adventures. We can often spend years of our lives discovering who we really are. We tend to be so focused on the other people around us that we forget about the people that really matter, and that’s YOU.

When you are absent it can take a heavy toll. You lose the sense of self, your personal goals, your motivation and sometimes close relationships.

Unfortunately, in society today there is a lot of fakeness, especially with social media. We know what it feels like, we know what it looks like. The posing, the fake smiles, the fronts and facades people put on. And of course, we aren’t all innocent. We have all been guilty of doing it, pretending to be people we are not. It could be out of fear or the desire to be accepted but putting on a mask is easy. It is truly scary to be your true self.

Your true self, also known as your real self or authentic self is the most honest aspect of you. No masks, no pretensions. It is when you’re at your most open, vulnerable and carefree.

If you’re feeling a little lost, distracted and unsure which I have been as of late and this year in general, try these little tricks to help you find you again on this universally individual adventure…

  1. Surround yourself with those that bring the best out of you — be around people who see you, accept you and respect you as you are. Sway towards people that bring light and not darkness. Don’t feel bad if you need to pull away from those draining, dark or negative souls. It’s the way of the world
  2. Stop saying sorry — if you make a mistake then of course, apologise. But being yourself, and being true to yourself is not something you need to apologise for. As humans we say the word ‘sorry’ in situations where sometimes that word doesn’t mean what it should or isn’t even necessary
  3. Recognise your personal power — you are strong, confidant and competent. Believe it. Knowing your personal power means recognising that we have a heavy effect on our own lives. We create our world that we live in. Shift your outlook, be empowered and positive
  4. Stop pleasing people at your own expense it’s not your job to make someone feel better about themselves by sacrificing your own energy, love and time
  5. It’s ok to say no — saying the word ‘no’ isn’t illegal. If you are nervous it will make someone angry or unhappy, remember that self love is not forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. Of course, in certain scenarios, you may genuinely have to, but saying no is ok! Saying what you mean and being as direct and straightforward as possible will be beneficial in the long run
  6. Develop self awareness — who are you? What do you like? What do you dislike? What do you value? How do you feel? What makes you uncomfortable? What feels natural to you? You are living your life. Get to know yourself! In order to be true to yourself and recognise your own power you have to know your own story
  7. Allow yourself to question things — give permission to yourself to question what you’ve been taught is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. We all go on our own journeys and life is about figuring out things on the way
  8. Create boundaries — express not only to yourself but to those around you what you are ok with and what you are not ok with. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from situations that make you feel uncomfortable. It’s what boundaries are for
  9. Don’t depend on others for validation— of course this is easier said than done, along with all of these! Refocus your energy to accept all that you are. You are unique, one in a million with no one like you. You are more than good enough
  10. Be vulnerable — it’s ok to be vulnerable. It shouldn’t be perceived as a negative or as a weakness. Admitting when you’re feeling scared, ashamed, lonely, weak or whatever emotion will only help you grow and be vulnerable with others

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