PSYCHOLOGY
5 Proven Tips for Developing Rock Solid Mental Strength
Strengthen your ability to keep your wits under pressure
“The ability to continue moving when you are feeling scared, fearful or lazy is the sign of true mental strength.”
― Matthew Donnelly
We all go through ups and downs, highs and lows in life. If anything, life is anything but linear. As much as we enjoy predictability, outside people or events have a way to test our adaptability and resilience.
Most of us are familiar with John Lenon’s quote “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” When our external circumstances change, we might lose our balance. We might stumble and even fall. Sometimes it hurts more, sometimes it hurts less. But nonetheless, dusting ourselves off and taking charge of our mentality when facing adversity is the best thing to do.
How can we build more resilience and confidence to face these challenges? Well, a first step would be to keep our heads clear by developing mental strength.
If we have a growth mindset we might see these events as challenges we can rise above from. I personally like to believe that life is a school in which we have to learn certain lessons to improve and become a better version of ourselves.
If you are familiar with stoicism, you might know that they defined the term ‘Eudaimonia’ as the ultimate goal in life, to become the highest version of ourselves. They believed that we all have the seed of ‘daimonia’ within us and have the inner potential to achieve our fullest potential.
What is mental strength?
The Stoics defined mental resilience as ‘being able to deal with the stormy weather that life throws at you’.
A scientific standpoint would say that:
Mental strength involves developing daily habits that build mental muscle. It also involves giving up bad habits that hold you back.
Morin, 2017
Contrary to popular belief who used to state that only certain individuals are born with it, it has lately been proven that mental strength is a skill and it can be built with dedication and self-discipline.
Did you know that mental toughness can have a profound positive effect on an individual’s pursuit of success of up to 25%? Just imagine you did all the work and all you need to succeed is just a bit of mental strength!
Developing mental strength should not be seen as a chore but as a way of life. Nourishing our minds the same way we nourish our bodies when we start exercising and eating healthy is an act of service to the self.
What does a mentally strong person look like?
A person who has built and honed their mental strength:
☞can take decisive action
☞is tolerant, flexible, kind, and compassionate towards others
☞has an ability to self-regulate their emotions better and faster
☞takes responsibility for their actions
☞exudes confidence and leadership skills
To better put things into perspective, I want to briefly mention the 4-C’S of mental toughness:
The 4 C’s of Mental Toughness
- Control- taking control over your life can be scary but quite empowering. Not being at the mercy of external events and taking charge of your attitude, perspective, and emotions is a true game changer.
- Commitment- the ability to set and stay focused on your goals without getting distracted. Don’t forget that where your attention goes your energy flows.
- Challenge- getting out of your comfort zone is quite challenging but then again, nothing grows out of the comfort zone. developing a growth mindset can help you see the challenge as an opportunity rather than an adversity
- Confidence- believing in yourself and in your ability to easily overcome setbacks. Each time you back up the things you say you’re going to do for yourself, you are building up your self-confidence and self-respect.
Here are 5 proven tips I have adopted that helped me develop mental strength over time:
1. Identify your Sewer and Success Cycles
According to Science of people, everyone goes through these two cycles at certain times in their lives. The Success Cycle is that feeling of being on top of the world where everything goes well, where you feel relaxed and at ease…you are simply unstoppable!
However, there is also a Sewer Cycle where you lack energy and motivation, you procrastinate and there is this mental fog that makes you unable to focus and everything feels like it's happening in slow motion.
These cycles are perfectly normal and likely to occur in our lives sooner or later. But the point is to try and spend as little time as possible in the Sewer cycle.
How to do it
✒Become aware of the moment you are approaching the Sewer Cycle and see what has triggered it…is it a change at the workplace, moving houses, traveling, meeting new people, rumination over a disagreement with someone else during the day?
✒Sit with the feeling and try to see what is trying to tell you. How do you feel about it? Why is it there? But don’t identify with it, merely observe it.
2. Acquire a new skill
According to Positivepsychology,com: “Acquiring new skills can play an important part in building resilience, as it helps to develop a sense of mastery and competency”.
It can boost your self-esteem and improve your overall confidence levels. Not to mention, you’ll be developing new neuronal pathways which will lead to increased resilience.
How to do it
✒Find something you are passionate about. If not necessarily passionate, at least something that sparks your interest and awakens your curiosity.
✒Adopt a beginner’s mindset and be gentle with yourself as you go through the learning process.
✒As adults, we tend to be weary of learning new things so give yourself time. Embrace your childlike nature of exploring and discovering new things about yourself and the activity at hand.
3. Keep your promises to yourself
We are often worried we might disappoint others when we don’t keep our promises but it seldom occurs to us we are doing the same to ourselves.
Skipping that exercise routine the fourth day in a row is also a way of letting ourselves down. Having a routine is important for self-discipline.
Betraying your own wants and needs is mostly going to lead to resentment, frustration, and even anger towards ourselves and possibly towards a partner or a friend for whom we canceled our self-care routine.
How to do it
✒Stay committed to your goals and dreams and create small “wins” along the way in which you can rejoice.
✒Prime your mind to stay disciplined by having a few routines daily you make sure you don’t stray away from such as making your bed in the morning, going for a walk or a jog, or something to nourish your mind body, and soul.
4. The three-second rule
There are moments when we dread doing something, whether we feel anxious about a meeting or simply procrastinating doing something that would benefit us in the long term like exercising or meditating.
I have personally heard about the three-second rule a few years ago and I started implementing it in several areas in my life where I found myself stalling. And I can honestly say, it really helped!
How to do it
✒Count down to three before doing something you feel nervous about.
✒Make it non-negotiable that when you reach 1 in your mental countdown, you are going to go for it without second thoughts.
✒Repeat for at least 21 days to engrain this new habit in your routine.
5. Practice gratitude
I cannot even begin to highlight the importance of gratitude in one’s life. Gratitude is a positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative and is associated with several mental and physical health benefits. The more grateful we are for the things in our lives, the more high vibrational people and experiences we attract.
Practicing gratitude on a regular basis helps us keep things in perspective and thus, helps us build mental strength.
How to do it
✒Commit to writing down in your journal five things daily for which you are grateful for at least 21 days.
✒Practice mindfulness by being present in the activities that you do on a daily basis and be grateful for the fact that you are able to do them.
✒Be thankful for the people in your life and do something nice to thank them if possible. If not, verbalizing it and sending them positive thoughts is also great!
Takeaways
● Mental strength is a skill that can be built by practicing self-discipline and willpower.
● Building mental strength is fundamental to showing up each day in life as the best version of yourself.
● The 4 C’s of Mental Toughness are control, commitment, challenge, and confidence.
● Developing mental strength can be done by:
1. Identifying your sewer vs success cycles
2. Acquiring a new skill
3. Keeping your promises to yourself
4. The three-second rule
5. Practicing gratitude
Practicing mental strength is like taking a shower…it doesn’t last unless it’s done daily!
To end this article, I’ll leave you with a favorite quote of mine:
“Your mental wellbeing should be one of the most important cares in your life.”
― Germany Kent
Hope you enjoyed this article, let me know what your tips on building mental strength are!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate you!
If you liked this article, you might also enjoy reading:
