I Was a Patient in Australia’s First Women’s Only Mental Health Facility
Here is what it was like…
Covid and the excessive lockdowns in Victoria, Australia took a serious toll on me. There was a saying circulating at the time; check on your extrovert friend, they are not ok! This certainly applied to me.
Alcohol has never been my friend but during the lockdowns I acquired a heavy daily alcohol dependency which was a way to escape mentally.
I couldn’t seem to kick it three years later and the amount I was tolerating kept increasing.
This led to weight gain, lack of motivation to exercise, emotional dysregulation and issues with my marriage.
We had high needs kids to home school and no ‘village’ to help.
Feelings of sadness and apathy were the norm.
I became quite anti-social and was hiding my drinking every night from my family.
Work got extremely busy in 2022 and I oversaw two major events without administrative assistance. I drank heavily through those months to cope.
I started a side business to pay off debt but the stress of working two jobs took its toll.
Friendships I thought would be forever ended and there were issues within my family.
It felt like the shit pile never stopped growing.
By Xmas 2022 I was in a constant state of anxiety, but I was an expert at putting on a happy face. I hid how I really felt and kept on going and going until I could no longer. I finally got to a point of complete exhaustion and burn out.
I was blacking out from drinking regularly in the evening, didn’t matter what night. On New Year’s Eve I had a close friend over for a BBQ and out of habit I drank heavily and quickly and within two hours was smashed.
I got up and lost my balance and fell hurting myself and was so disorientated I had to go to bed.
My girlfriend was very upset by the incident and the next day she and my husband both spoke to me.
They told me they loved me and expressed their concerns about how much I was drinking, suggesting I seek help.
By then I was feeling powerless and deep down I knew it was time.
Along with my wonderful GP we found a treatment program, offered at a new women’s only clinic in Melbourne that was quickly generating a great reputation.
She referred me, we had to sort out our health insurance cover, which was not an easy task however within a week I was booked in.
They specialize in the treatment of depression and anxiety, PTSD, addiction and offer targeted therapies for women.
The founders said in an interview with The Age in 2021, women’s mental health issues are at all-time high and that women were experiencing “addiction by stealth” because of the lockdowns.
On the first day as I walked through the doors, I felt anxious as I had no idea what I was in for.
My nervous system was shot from the excessive drinking, I was agitated and had the shakes.
The staff were welcoming, gave me a tour of the centre and showed me to my room.
When I first walked into the kitchen full of women chatting, laughing and eating lunch I felt overwhelmed.
Within a day or so I began to relax as I learnt the routines and started chatting to the ladies and doing therapies.
I soon learnt it was a place I could heal, rest and even understand myself better.
It is a holistic program, combining the right medication to suit the individual, exercise therapy, group therapy and mindfulness.
We did all sorts of work on ourselves. We developed a list of what values are important to us and what a value driven life looks life.
Emotional regulation, mindfulness, boundaries and interpersonal effectiveness.
To paraphrase Oprah Winfrey, there were some “AH HA” moments for me.
I broke down in group a few times and sobbed my heart out. It was mortifying at first, but I felt comfortable amongst these women, it was a relief to let it out.
I was away from triggers and temptations and it gave me space.
I counted the alcohol-free days and each day I felt stronger.
A sisterhood formed as it often does between groups of women thrown together. Spending every day in each other’s pockets and doing all that mental health work you become close quickly.
We would sit around the kitchen table, eat all the delicious food, drink coffee and paint. I found myself having some of the most authentic conversations I’d had in a long time.
A memory I will take with me forever.
It was not all rainbows and Kum by Ya (my lord) moments. My bags were searched by the nurses for substances at admission.
Long charger cords confiscated and no hooks anywhere in the rooms. Any glass skin care bottles were taken and locked up. The mirrors were foggy and not made of real glass, so they could not be smashed by patients.
While I detoxed I was not allowed to leave the facility and afterwards leave time was restricted.
I learnt a lot about mental health conditions. My heart broke for some of the young women struggling to get by in life. My maternal instinct kicked in and I wanted to mother them.
Listening to them speak about their mums, made me reflect on my own relationship with my daughter.
I’m a firm believer taking care of our mental health is just as important as taking care of our physical health.
There is no shame in admitting you are struggling and need help. Not only that but for us to regularly work on maintaining our mental health.
For me personal growth and self-development is important.
I want to understand myself better, to look within, to improve our family dynamic still damaged by the lockdowns.
To learn when it’s simply time to walk away from toxic relationships.
At the end of ten days, I was ready to move forward.
Since I’ve participated in outpatient group therapy. I feel stronger, calmer, more balanced and more content than I have in a long while.
This circuit break was exactly what I needed. It was cathartic and transformative, and I would recommend it to anyone struggling mentally in whatever form it may be.
