How my mom surpassed herself
I want to thank my parents for being so incredibly not perfect.
Only now I’ve started to appreciate the way they treated me when I was small. After a childhood like that, the rest of life feels like a vacation.
Once you make peace with your past, nothing can stop you. When it’s impossible to forgive and forget, I just turn my traumatic childhood adventures into life lessons that I am grateful for.
We Came Alone And Go Alone
When I was a child, misbehaving was my full-time job or maybe even life long passion. My mom had to be inventive to create punishments for me. She always had to have an ace up her sleeve to scare me. She as a teacher knew that fear is the only way to control people.
But once she had surpassed herself.
Occasionally we visited the orphan, where my mom`s friend worked. We used to collect my old clothes and toys and bring there. So I was completely familiar with the concept of an orphanage.
Once my mom got extremely pissed off with my outrageous behavior and said,’ That`s all! I am calling the orphanage! She started reaching the phone and I felt like falling in the deep silence between my two heartbeats. I couldn’t believe my eyes. ‘I am tired of you, so I will give you to the orphanage. That`s it! I am done!’, said she ferociously calm.
I watched her how she was dialling the number and when first beeps cut the silence I screamed. It was like you try to jump across the enormous gap between two buildings. In the last moment your fingers slip the edge of the roof and you start to fall down. I was on my knees begging her to finish the call. I have promised everything that I could possibly and not possibly do.
That day I wasn't sent to the orphanage.
That day I received a gift. A gift of freedom. I realized that I can’t count on my mom. I hold my breath and dive into the dark waters of understanding that we are all alone here. And when I came out to the surface I breathed the cold yet fresh air of solitude.
Whenever I was far from home I never miss it and it was my major advantage. When my friends were homesick I was thriving.
I learned that my home is in my head and I am my main asset.
This article is part of the series “Things my parents taught me” scattered across Medium. I encourage you to reach out to your traumatic childhood stories and think what valuable lessons did you learn and how did you benefit from it.
Check out other stories of the series “Things my parents taught me”.
