CLEVER INK.

Transformed and Grateful for the Mind-Fucks

It wasn’t punishment; it was preparation for an awakening.

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If you’d shown me a title like this one a few years ago, I’d have snorted and scrolled right past it. Pfft — prep for an awakening?

More like pain, betrayal, and chaos… hard pass, thanks anyway.

Life up to that point had been a highlight reel of harmful people and brutal setbacks, and yeah, I made bad choices like some kind of pain enthusiast. I ignored my gut, excused red flags, and kept finding the good in people who had no interest in protecting my heart.

Meanwhile, I kept turning it all back on myself. What’s wrong with me? Why am I never enough?

And the worst part? I kept inviting it all in and twisting myself into someone I barely recognized — all for the illusion of love or approval. I used to joke that I must’ve been a real piece of work in a past life — and now I was paying the price.

I’ve been through a lot, especially in relationships, and in my early sixties, I faced another emotional blow. But this time, something inside me opened up instead of shutting down. I finally realized that the only way to get through the pain — the real way, not the Instagram-quote way — was directly through the…