Texting Do’s and Don’ts for Dating (ModRom Ch2.2)
Aziz talks about how it’s so easy for guys to “strike out” from texting. The lack of normal social norms, omnipresent in physical settings, creates the perfect storm for mistakes to abound.
Another way to look at it is that, if we presume that guys are “thirsty”, the lack of strong social norms, reduces the barriers for the guy’s pursuit.
Texting Do’s & Don’ts
With the prevalence of texting, Aziz also mentions how in modern times, even if you’ve made a good first impression in-person, the first impression from your texts are also critical. With that, he goes into a few do’s and don’ts of texting he learned from interviewing the ladies.
DON’T #1: “hey”
Don’t just say hey. I was surprised when he said that this was a problem that girls ran into. The example he gave was a guy who would say just “hey”, something like 15 times over a period of 40 days. I have a strong sense of curiosity about people in general, so thankfully I don’t think I’ve run into this problem, hah.
DON’T #2: The Secretary
This describes the situation when your schedules never match up and the parties just start to lose interest. This problem I’ve run into a bit…not in a ‘dating’ sense, but just with people I’ve wanted to connect with. Hah, it’s cause I am pretty persistent.
There was this one guy I asked to hang with something like once a month for over 2 years. We’ve yet to meet up, hah. And a few months ago, he even called me out on it, asking why I was so persistent…wondering if perhaps I had some vindictive intentions for some wrong he did against me in our past. There isn’t. I just have a strong preference for people who pursue artistic ventures and who I consider “good”.
DON’T #3: Bad grammar
Hah, this is so true. I don’t think I commit this problem, but it’s something I personally consider. I recall reading dating profiles and bad grammar being a “knock” on them. Unless, they looked like they were a fob, in which case, bad grammar was the “tell”, haha.
Like, I always see if someone has used “your” and “you’re” correctly. And I generally peruse everything I’ve written and will send follow-up texts correcting my own grammar.
Looking at it a different way, though, it can also show that you don’t care as much…to take the time and make sure something says what you want it to say. Plus, it’s hard enough understanding what some texts actually mean; grammatical errors only exacerbate that.
DO #1: Specificity
This is just making sure that you’re specifying time and location. A lack of specificity brings uncertainty to the situation. The very act of going on a date can be stressful in itself, and adding uncertainty to it, adds more stress. Further, added uncertainty creates a greater chance that the date won’t happen. It just makes you look not as interested.
DO #2: Callbacks to the past
This is a nice tip: inject a past conversation or interaction into your conversation. You show a girl that you care when you remember things about her.
Hah, I find this kind of funny, because it relates to a problem that a lot of people tend to have in a relationship. The problem being that girls remember everything and guys are faulted for not remembering much. So, this would be a sign for girls that this guy is the type who remembers things, hahaha.
DO #3: Humor
Of course humor is good, but Aziz talks about how you might need to be careful because your humor might not match that person. But with that caveat, humor is generally good to attempt.
Unfortunately…this is my greatest weakness. In-person, I tend to laugh a lot within just normal conversation, but I’m generally not a very funny person. Humor just does not…come naturally to me. So, this tip I won’t be able to utilize very much :|.
I feel like a lot of this comes down to this point: your texts will show your character and your level of interest. So, in a sense, this is the tip. Just as you’ll put in the effort to look good for your date, don’t take texting lightly and put some effort into it :).
