Park your igloo here

Global warming? Well, only if you want to made fun of—

I’m a bit amazed at the weather forecast for the next upcoming week. Could be one of coldest temperatures for an NFL playoff game. Lots of snow coming down? Oh, what about freezing rain and planes skidding off the runway?

When I was a kid, I had to trek a mile in the snow uphill, both ways. (When I left school, I had to walk to the public library to work, thus trekking up the hill again. Gotcha.) It wasn’t so bad…

Yet, what about super storm Sandy? Or record hot temperatures in Australia last year?

Just to warp your brain a little more, the earth in 2014 was closest to the Sun…its perihelion…yesterday. Which really doesn’t matter because its the Earth’s axis tilt gives us our four seasons — not how close we are to a ball of flaming gas. Bet you didn’t know that.

Don’t think the global warming is causing this? According to NASA, it is. They also say—

This has been the result of the “Arctic oscillation” -- a see-sawing pressure system over the North pole -- that has driven cold air into more southern latitudes.

So, we’re on a tilt, close to the sun, yet our weather patterns are like seesawing with a guy who’s trying to throw you off because he’s just a mean old bitch.

When someone says well, there’s no global warming because we’re freezing — I really have to ask…are you serious?

To help those who know what’s going on, my suggestion today is to rename global warming as global chaos. Already in use by me for more than a year. Keeping calling it warming and I’ll make fun of you—

Get the 75 SPF sunscreen and larger than life hats before they goes out of stock. Also get them wool sweaters purchased more because you’ll be getting more bone-chilling winters for years to come.

After all, a little chaos is fun. Right?