Don’t Become a Social Outcast When You Stop Eating Meat
I went to a cousin’s wedding about a month after I first started to eat completely plant based. I was in a panic approaching the big day. What was I going to eat? Where were the vegan options on this invitation? As an added bonus, there would be a multitude of critical family members who think eating vegan is a liberal conspiracy. This was going to be miserable. And honestly, it was kind of miserable, because I didn’t know what I was doing and I didn’t prepare at all — I just worried. I didn’t eat anything during the cocktail hour, then during dinner I ate the vegetarian option, which happened to be tiny and very cheesy. It was the double whammy. I had bubble gut from the dairy (I happen to be fairly lactose intolerant), and I was hungry. But, fear not, it doesn’t have to be this way! You can be a normal social human being and eat plant based, and it gets easier the longer you do it.
Navigating the Restaurant Scene Without Feeling Like a Killjoy
Restaurants initially stressed me out when I first started eating plant based. I didn’t want to be a burden to my friends in choosing a restaurant, but I also did not want to starve. I honestly didn’t know how to navigate menus at conventional restaurants with my new eating preferences. I felt bad when well meaning friends would ask if a restaurant was “okay for me” like I had a disability. I didn’t want to fulfill the stereotype of being a high maintenance vegan. Turns out it’s really not all that serious, and my confidence has grown to the point where I feel comfortable going to any restaurant. I use several strategies to make sure I can find something on any menu. As an added perk, I expanded my experience past the typical hamburger and fries and have tried a lot of delicious cultural foods I never would have touched before.
Eat at a Plant Friendly Restaurant
If you can influence where you go to eat, there are definitely better options than others. If there is a super hip vegan restaurant in your area that everyone is okay with going to, go for it, but that’s certainly not the only place to get incredible vegan food. Generally, non-western restaurants are good choices because many non-European cultures tend to place less emphasis on meat.
Tofu is a staple of East Asian cuisine, and most Asian restaurants will allow tofu substitutions for any meat protein. If tofu isn’t your thing, there are generally plenty of veg-heavy options. Asian food also tends to be dairy free already as around 70% of Asians are lactose intolerant.
Mediterranean and Middle Eastern food tends to be friendly as well — think falafel and hummus. Ethiopian or any other North African style of food often has a section devoted to “fasting” foods. “Fasting food” is vegan, because in many African branches of Christianity “fasting” by not eating animal products is standard practice for parts of the year. Eating Ethiopian food also means eating with your fingers, which is unquestionably awesome.
There are also several websites devoted to finding vegan options, including HappyCow (app costs money but browser version is free) and ABillionVeg. These websites allow you to type in a zip code and look for good options in your area.
Do Your Research — Look at the Menu Before
If you don’t get to pick the restaurant, and you aren’t familiar with it, you aren’t doomed to starvation. You just need to do a little research. Go to the restaurant website before, find the menu, and make a plan. You can decide ahead of time what you will eat, and manage expectations if the menu isn’t vegan friendly. If there are no good entree options, get creative. Try to throw together several side dishes to create a filling meal. I’ve done this several times at steak houses, which often have surprisingly nice steamed vegetable sides. If you need to call and ask about a specific dish, it can often be easier to do before you go to the restaurant rather than during the ordering process. If the restaurant is a chain, they sometimes have helpful pages on their websites to guide wary plant based eaters. For example, a quick google search of “Olive Garden Vegan” yields this page from Olive Garden detailing their options. FYI, Olive Garden breadsticks are vegan, so you can basically just mooch off everyone’s unlimited breadsticks and drink wine samples all night. Even if there aren’t a lot of good options for you, remember that you are really going to socialize, not to eat. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Make Substitutions Without Being Weird
In order to make things plant based, you may have to ask the server for substitutions or to remove stuff. This is completely fine. People literally do this all the time, and you will not be the most annoying customer that night. Usually your request will be very simple, such as removing the cheese. You are paying for this food, so stop feeling bad about it. If the server handled it well make sure you tip generously and thank them so they are friendly to the next poor vegan soul who wanders in. Just be polite while being clear about what you want.
Use the 2% Rule
When I make food for myself, it is always 100% plant based. However, when I go out I apply the 2% rule to my food. A tiny trace of an animal product will not cause me to ruin the outing. For example, many places have a veggie burger that contains egg whites as a binding agent. I am okay with it. I wouldn’t cook it myself, but it works as my option for the night. Ultimately, I want to show people that eating plant based is easy and enjoyable, and sometimes that means going with the flow. Do what you are comfortable with and don’t stress about it.
Still freaked out? This is exactly what I would order at a variety of different restaurants:
- Mexican: Vegetable fajitas with no cheese or sour cream, or Veggie enchiladas with no cheese, Margs
- Chinese: Veggie stir fry or Vegetable ramen
- Vietnamese: Pho Chay with a side of vegetable summer rolls
- Thai: Any stir fry, sub tofu for meat. Thai iced tea with coconut milk if available.
- Lebanese/Mediterranean: Falafel! Appetizer of hummus and pita bread.
- Japanese: Vegetable sushi and Miso soup
- Steak house: Side of rice or baked potato and a side of steamed veggies.
- Italian: Pasta with marinara sauce and steamed veggies, make sure the sauce doesn’t have hidden cheese.
Attending Omnivore Parties
Depending on the party, options can be pretty slim. For some reason parties hosted by men in their twenties often consist of beer and low quality hamburgers. The nice thing about parties is usually people are too busy partying to notice what you are eating.
Bring the Plant Party Yourself
Bring something you can eat, and bring enough of it to share. People often flock to the plant based option because bright fruits and vegetables are beautiful. You could bring hummus with a plate of veggies and crackers, or an awesome salad. It will most likely be eaten and if not you can bring it back home. In my experience, people tend to eat much more if your dish is not labeled as vegan. I have no explanation for this except that people are weird.
Eat Before to Prevent Hangriness
Parties are also a good opportunity to pre-eat. If you know that there won’t be a lot of options for you, just eat something plant based and delicious before you go. You won’t be hungry, and you can focus on why you are actually at the party — to connect with others and have fun.
All in the Name of Love — Surviving Weddings
As shown by my first wedding experience, weddings can be a little challenging. Unlike a restaurant, you aren’t paying for the food, so you can’t really make demands. Unfortunately the “vegetarian” option tends to be cheesy. Given that vegetarians will gladly eat vegan food, I have never understood why caterers don’t choose to make the vegetable option dairy free. Caterers also often do not understand that vegan food is less calorically dense, so the portion size is generally not on par with the meat course. Still, there are things you can do to mitigate.
Influence and Improvise — Make Your Own Wedding Meal
If you are in the wedding party, gently suggest to your friend or relative that there be a vegan option. If its a buffet, just load up on the veggie sides and the salad. If it’s served, ask the server if they can help you. Caterers often have specialty items reserved in the case of allergies or special dietary restrictions. Just like parties, pre-eating is a big one here, especially because wedding festivities can take all day. You can also sneak in some food to munch on between the ceremony and reception.
Crush the cocktail hour food
If you know the meal is going to be a disaster, often there are accidentally good options in the cocktail hour. Think fruit salad, crackers, and vegetable trays. Make your mission during cocktail hour to consume as many carrot sticks and Bride signature drinks as you can.
Relax a Little — This is a Process
Other people will try to make you feel awkward about changing your diet, but it’s really not difficult to eat plant based. Just ignore the haters and do your best. If you don’t make a big deal out of your diet, other people are less likely to as well. I’ve got another cousin’s wedding coming up this summer, and you better believe I’m going to be well fed. See you at the open bar!
