CLIMATE NEWS | SATIRE
Chevron Corporation Announces $120 Million Investment in Nuclear-Powered Carbon Capture Startup
Equity Stake in Nucarb Buys Green Credibility, Time
SAN RAMON, Calif. — November 4, 2021 — Chevron Corporation [NYSE: CVX] has acquired a 28 percent stake in nuclear-powered carbon capture startup Nucarb, chairman and chief executive officer Michael Wirth announced today.
The technology is a variation of direct air capture (DAC) which uses powerful fans to suck carbon dioxide from the air, with the fans powered by an experimental small modular nuclear reactor (SMR).
“This investment is killing two birds with one stone, creating an environmentally-friendly news story while distracting the media from how our core business continues to harm the planet and ultimately kill people,” said Wirth. “Nucarb shows our commitment to technology that slightly lessens the damage that our core business units inflict on the world.”
The first Nucarb pilot is not expected to be operational until 2032, due to the time it takes to permit and build new nuclear plants in the United States. At $120 million, the investment is substantially less than it would cost to capture emissions at the source or move the company away from its business extracting, refining and selling fossil fuels.
“Selecting an emerging nuclear technology to power the air capture ensures that the progress will be slowed substantially as community members are educated about the safety of the reactor technology,” said Wirth. “By locating our pilot near our refining facilities in Louisiana, we estimate we’ll be able to capture up to 4.2% of the emissions from one of our plants. While that excludes the emissions from the end use of the fuels we create, it does provide an excellent story for our ESG publication and will be featured in our annual report,” Wirth said.
Wirth, who prefers to be addressed as M.K. or Mike to show he’s the kind of friendly oil and gas CEO you’d love to have a beer with, announced the investment from his private jet as he returned from Glasgow where he attended COP26.
“For around two percent of last quarter’s earnings alone, we can be perceived as being leaders in climate technology,” Wirth told shareholders in his email announcement. “Investing in a long-shot technology to recapture emitted carbon from the air enables us to continue producing carbon-emitting fossil fuel products and ignoring fugitive emissions at oil and gas wells. It’s a win-win.”
Select industry analysts saw the announcement as positive.
“This is a surefire way to redirect the conversation,” said James Fishion, founder of Nukebros Energy Analysts. “There’s not a single clean energy scenario that isn’t improved by reminding the people of the world that nuclear is a zero-carbon emitting energy source.”
Fishion, best known for his Guiness Book of World Records’ award for derailing the most Twitter climate conversations in a 24 hour period, sees the marriage of nuclear and carbon capture and storage as a natural next step.
“I’m just bummed I didn’t think of it first,” he said. “It’s got everything that sounds good and almost zero chance of scaling commercially before 2045. It’s poetic, bruh.”
Chevron’s announcement follows it’s recent refusal to set binding Scope 1 and 2 emissions reduction goals.
Forward Looking Statement Disclosure: This news release does not contain forward-looking statements relating to Chevron’s operations as management’s current expectations, estimates and projections about the petroleum, chemicals and other energy-related industries are based on fully depreciating the potential of future generations to look forward to a cleaner future.
Media note: Photos showing M.K.casually strolling down a hallway or looking approachable in front of screens, abstract art or a blank wall can be downloaded here.
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