I'm sure we all felt it when Kelly Clarkson said, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". If I could go back in time, I'd change nothing. Because every path I went through in the interim has since impacted the woman I am today, and I'm proud of that. But if time travel somehow became a reality, I'd give the younger me a tight hug and tell her to hang in there, tell her that it's gonna be alright.

I'm writing this letter to give some hope to anyone who may be struggling with coming to terms with who they are.

DEAR 5 YEARS' AGO ME

You were always a misfit when in school- overweight, studious, shy, antisocial, scared of going to crowded places, and a big introvert. You were highly under confident. And there weren’t many people you could talk to. You used to always envy those kids who everybody used to call the 'cool kids' and you used to think why couldn’t you be one of them, because you so wanted to. And of course, all those jokes about you being fat, they were always there. But you kept suffering silently, pretended to ignore them at times, and never confronted anyone about how it all hurt you. You never had the courage to.
Let me tell you something, you’re gonna regret this later- letting your weight issues overpower the rest of your personality and suck all your confidence out of you.

There is, and always will be, so much more to you apart from the way you look.

I know all these school years make you feel like the world is collapsing on you and you don’t feel too good about yourself. But as the older and more self-accepting version of you, I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. You are loved. You are worthy. You are amazing just as you are. Don’t hide yourself. Life’s too short to not show the universe your magic.

Talking about magic, that's what love feels like, doesn't it? The world becomes a little more beautiful, your favourite songs sound a little more melodious, chocolates taste a little sweeter, you look in the mirror and you feel prettier, and life just seems to be impeccable.

Until the red flags begin to appear and you realise this isn't the love and the 'forever' you imagined it to be.

Your heart breaks into a million pieces, the world seems like a miserable place, your favourite songs sound woeful now, your favourite food doesn't delight you anymore, you look in the mirror filled with self doubt, and life just seems to be going downhill altogether. But at the end of the day, you may delay the cracks from spreading, but eventually they will.

DEAR ME, GOING THROUGH A HEARTBREAK

Pause, and take a deep breath. You've got you, and that's all you need. You're going to learn so much from this and bloom into this more confident, self sufficient woman. Focus on growing, not losing yourself in this process. And you will breakdown at times on this journey, but that's okay.

Sometimes, you must allow yourself to leave to keep yourself together, even if breaking your own heart is what it takes to let you breathe. Always remember, there is a purpose to this storm. You think the war is on the outside but the real war lies within yourself. Just keep believing in yourself and when you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, count your blessings.

Nobody can steal you from yourself, and that's your superpower. The right ones are gonna love you for who you are and that is the kind of love you deserve. But don't forget to fall in love with yourself first, that is what'll complete you in the truest sense.

This isn't a story, this is my story. And to all of you out there, be authentic and honour the real, amazing you.

Penned by : Deeya Tangri