Stages of Being Independent
I’m not quite sure if it was Karan Johar’s fantasy of college or Zac Effron’s hypnotic blue eyes in High School Musical, but I imagined my college life full of unicorns and rainbows! With yellow Fairy lights on my walls and my boba waiting on the desk, I’d wake up, lift the sheets of control, slip into my soft slippers of independence, draw the curtains of teenage back and finally breathe the fresh air of adulthood. The world was supposed to revolve around me.
Fast forward to my first year; days passed by before I saw the face of my shower. The attendant yelled at me almost every day to pay my room rent. My ED homework sheets got dirty from the dusty floor. The fun all-nighters I imagined welcomed horrible hangovers the next day, and instead of exotic coffee, the view of my pile of dirty laundry started my day. It’s true; I could eat nachos for breakfast and pasta for dinner without the glaring stare of my mother. Skip classes without an ounce of guilt or shame, hang out with my friends and do whatever I want.
It’s a wonderful feeling, freedom. It overwhelms you. When you realize you are in charge, the vast horizon of possibilities seems endless, and exhilaration runs down your spine. As intimidating, the word ‘responsibility’ is, it is what gives us our power. However, behind the masquerade of the mighty ‘Independents’ lie the not-so-fun knights that guard the balance of the system. In a matter of days, the feeling of power drains out, and a sense of lethargy washes over. There are good days when a sudden pump of energy rushes in the veins, and you are compelled to wash 14 pairs of socks at 7 am (may or may not be based on true incidents). Inevitably, there are bad days that are the reason behind the 14 pairs of rotting socks lying all over the room.
The power of decision making is the biggest asset that comes with independence. In the words of Frost, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both”, we learn to live with the decisions we make. Be it as small as choosing lunch or as big as choosing the topic for the next research paper. Some right, some wrong; we grow with every decision we make. Battling in this no-man’s land called independence, we win some wars, and we lose some. But backed by our responsibilities, we try not to lose sight of our goals. Unfortunately, God couldn’t get a Karan Johar to direct our lives, and no, a dramatic version of ‘Gulabi aankhein’ doesn’t play when I shop in the mall but the mall speakers busting the 2000’s bops are still not so bad, right?
The sigh of relief when you lay in your bed at night after an exhausting day of work brings back the excitement of being an independent adult. In addition, the feeling of fulfilment when your hands ache as you send snaps of your drying socks to your friends is unmatched. It’s all worth it, I promise.
Penned by : Ananya Komal Singh
