Moving On

“You have to move on. You should. You’re worth more than that.”

I’ve been hearing this my whole life no matter it was related to school, jobs or boys, it is what people say, that you have to move on, that you should not obsess over anything and that is better for everyone to move on. But what is it about moving on that makes it so difficult?

There are hundreds of articles on the internet about “How to move on”, but can someone really move on just by following some steps? When you google “How to move on, the first thing that appears is a 10 steps plan (I am going to attach a screenshot underneath).

The first step is “Clear you baggage”. How? How do you actually let go of all your memories and feelings? If anyone has any tips, I would be happy to know; I got to move on from someone as well. The second step is “Recognize he/she is not the one for you” — fair point, but do you really recognise that when you love someone truly, madly, deeply? I mean, me personally, I said that a lot of times “He is not the one; my true soulmate with come and heal this”, but deep down I was still in love with the Devil. The third step is “Share with your close friends” — I would suggest you not to and I say that from my own experience because when he/she will come back and you will want to go back to him/her, your close friends will be really disappointed and will not be ashamed to let you know “how stupid you are for not moving on and going back”. I could go over that list and analyse all the steps and show how they are not that easy to do or that effective.

I’ve been trying to move on for the last few months. After losing a person I loved really much, I tried all the steps on the internet and they didn’t really worked. First of all,

• You can’t forget memories or feelings just because you want to.

It is going to be a long time until you’ll be able to forget everything you feel. If you are going to obsess over forgetting, you will only get to think ever more about it. So just give it time!

• When it will be the time to move on, you will.

I am a true believer in soulmates and I’ve always said that when two people are meant to be together, they will be — no matter what. Even if they spend years apart, they will find their way back to each other so that’s exactly my point here: if you are meant to be together for the moment, you will and eventually when your story is about to end, you’ll start to stop loving them. All the small things will start to annoy you and that’s how you move on. First, you stop loving.

• If he/she really deserve all your pain, he/she is your soulmate and it will all be paid off.

This one has a good relationship with the one above. It is related to soulmates, as well. The thing with soulmates and love in general, because this is what we talk about here, is that you never know who he/she is. You might try to follow all those steps on the internet in order to forget someone, but you would never be able to because that one… wait for it… is your soulmate! So, when things appear to be all coincidences, think about it — they might not be just that!

• Don’t worry! You’ll heal and eventually move on without stressing!

You will! Even if sometimes it appears like that toxic relationship is never going to end, it will (if it is supposed to be). When you’ll be ready to move on, you will. Just stop thinking about it! And after all, if you want to get back with that someone, do it! It is your life! You decide whether is time to move on or not; whether you are ready to give up or not.

This are my “steps” for moving on. This is what I lived and how I got to deal with it and is also what I learnt while I was moving on. And it never happened when people told me to, it happened when I was ready.

Moving on is more difficult when you feel like you shouldn’t so just trust your gut!

With thanks to Susie G Scott